When Opposites Attract
by Rebecca Cutter
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Book Summary Information
Author: Rebecca CutterEdition: Audio Cassette
Format: Audiobook
Published: 1994-10-01
ISBN: 0453009085
Number of pages: 1
Publisher: Highbridge Audio
Book Reviews of When Opposites Attract
Book Review: My premonitions are bound to change - to the better
Summary: 5 Stars
I've only read the first two chapters and already it's like someone's been eavesdropping on me and my girlfriend since we met 9 months ago. Our oppositional attitudes caused every crisis in the book, but we still wanted to find a way 'in'; quote: '...true-love relationships are too precious too neglect or just drop all together'. So we tried to understand each other, asked friends and family for advice. Then, I consulted the stars for more enlightenment. I (RB) am Pisces - she (LB) is Aries... The book "Sexual Astrology: A Sign-by-Sign Guide to Your Sensual Stars" helped me understand her better, but not "how" I could cope with the situation. Now this book is somewhat my last resort. So let me finish the next chapters and keep your fingers crossed that the encouragement to not give up will gain momentum; or I'll be a no-brainer (NB).
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Chapter 7 and still going strong. This author really knows how to put such a delicate subject as the relationship of two opposites into a clear perspective. The examples are concrete, comprehensible, and contextually sound. I'm still flabbergasted as to the degree of correlation with my personal relationship. Almost every paragraph makes me stop and reflect on my own experience. Reading this book gives me more suspense than any mystery book on the shelves. Stay tuned...
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I gave my girlfriend her own copy to read. We discussed chapter by chapter, reflecting on things that were mentionable. And mentionable insights there were many. This is exactly what the author had intended, namely to use it as a working manual. And therefore it was not just "me" striking a discussion on some theory, but it was mutual - and that helped to ease the discussion atmosphere substantially.
Of course I was anxiously awaiting a part at the end of the book that would resolve the whole myth, saying something like: take a little bit of this, a whole lot of that, stir and presto: you'll be happy together and profit from one another. Well think twice: you won't find it.
Some things that I think could be worth mentioning, though, are:
- There were only a few places that touched on the pros/cons of couples having a lot in common. Some more description and comparison would have helped my comprehending process.
- The book did not touch in any way on things that opposite couples have in common and how that would/could have a (positive) impact on the relationship. Is it because the couples interviewed didn't have anything in common or is it because it is not relevant or because it is self-evident? How many opposing attributes can a relationship take vs. what really needs to be in common?
- It surely helped us understand "why" the other partner acts/reacts the way he/she does. That allowed us to circumvent - to a certain extent - possible conflict situations. And it illustrated that the majority of conflicts and misunderstandings we had were -- typical.
- It would perhaps be a good idea to annex a translational section (LB-RB, RB-LB), i.e. if LB says this, they mean that and visa versa.
- The author made clear that it not the intention of the book to explain "why" opposites come together in the first place. Thus, it of course does not state "why" opposites should stay together either. It just shows some common pitfalls and ways to cope with opposite characteristics.
This brings me to my final point: you'll look for the term "love" in vain. What's love got to do with this? It's surely the prerequisite to any enduring relationship. But with us being so "opposite" I was of course frequently asking myself: do I really "love" her and if, why can't I just take her the way she is? This vicious query then brought me back to basics, namely that it's all about (quote) "commitment, respect, earning trust and accepting imperfections".
So I put the book aside together with all of my manuscripts, mind maps, and metaphoric models and started to look inside of my heart. And the personal outcome for us: we decided to (*CENSORED*) :)
Conclusion: A "must read" for all that are confronted with decision making in an "opposites attract" relationship or just want to understand their current relationship better. At least a half a dozen friends and family members I gave this book to agree.
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