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What Happy Women Know: How New Findings in Positive Psychology Can Change Women's Lives for the Better by Dan Baker, Cathy Greenberg, Ina Yalof
Book Summary InformationAuthor: Cathy Greenberg, Dan Baker, Ina Yalof Edition: Hardcover Audio: English (Original Language); English (Unknown); English (Published) Published: 2007-05-15 ISBN: 1594865450 Number of pages: 272 Publisher: Rodale Books
Book Reviews of What Happy Women Know: How New Findings in Positive Psychology Can Change Women's Lives for the BetterBook Review: Positive Psychology for women Summary: 4 StarsThis book is an easy read. It lays out the premise of positive psychology and relates it squarely to women. Dan Baker weaves research and theory with concrete case studies from his work with women. There are enough important topics covered in the book that I believe all women will find something that appeals. You might find yourself skimming some chapters but being totally riveted by others. In my book club, everyone had a different perspective on what appealed to her the most. And each of us found something worthwhile to take away.
To give you a taste for the topics coveredin the book's ten chapters, I'll list a selection:. perfectionism, always saying yes, the revenge rut, feeling nothing without a man, transcending loss, the career track and much more.
When I thought about writing this review, I decided that rather than focusing on the topic covered in the chapters, I'd focus on the overall impressions I was left with and some enduring concepts I took away.
Personally, I just LOVED the evolutionary explanations put forward to explain some of women's most self-defeating tendencies, such as perfectionism, needing to please others, and even obsessive shopping! You have to read it to believe it. But once I read these evolutionary explanations, things did completely make sense.
Take obsessive shopping as an example; our ancestors lived in a place and time of great danger. Food was always scarce and getting it cost men's lives. When the men were hunting, the women where frantically gathering plants to ensure there was enough food if the men returned empty-handed. Our foremother who was never happy with what she had and who consequently gathered more and more, was the one with the most food, who was also more likely to be successful in ensuring her offspring survived the harsh winters. According to Baker, as far as the more primitive parts of our brains are concerned, we're still gatherers needing more and more... so how do women gather today? They shop!
You get the gist, reading these evolutionary explanations felt great to me. So it's not just me who suffers from it (take your pick, perfectionism, trying to please, working too hard), and it is not all my own personal upbringing and childhood experiences that are to blame. For some reason it felt like a great release. Perhaps it's because these evolutionary explanations make all our shortcoming and self-defeating behaviours less personal. Also, in my work as a coach, consultant and workshop facilitator, I now use these explanations to help people understand and relate more to the dangers of all these traps women fall into.
Perfectionism being one of the most enduring traps I have to battle with, I found this little gem most alluring. Kaizen, according to Baker, is "the Japanese word for continual improvement through small, incremental and sometimes insignificant steps." You want to lose weight, get fit and look younger? Rather than embarking on a `no holds bar' hell regime, cut one chocolate bar a day to start off with. Make a point of parking your car two streets away from your destination every time you go somewhere so you walk a little more throughout your day. That kind of thing...
I think we can alldo with a little Kaizen in our lives, realising that good enough is quite often just that - good enough - and that each step we take towards whatever it is, counts.
The third concept I really enjoyed and that stayed with me is the idea of treating one's life as an investment portfolio. The premise here is that just as it wouldn't be wise to invest all your money in one stock, the same is true of our lives. Happy women run their lives as a mosaic of their strengths and interests. Happy women have multi dimensional lives and don't invest in just one thing.
Looking around the happy women I know, I observed that they really do that, some are mothers and wives but they all have other interests they value. They all choose things where they can really draw on their strengths, be it designing kitchens, gardens, going back to study or doing fulfilling paid work. What all of them also have in common is having great relationships in which they invest and which they nurture.
Just as having a diversified investment portfolio should cushion an economic downturn, so does a diversified life cushions women who are faced with adversity.
A little niggle
Dan Baker works mainly with women who come to the Canyon Ranch is Arizona where he founded the Life-Enhancing programme. Perhaps because of that, many of the women described in the case studies are very wealthy and that might make the more cynical of you raise an eyebrow. I missed that fact, but one of my book club members pointed it out. So beware, but rest assured that with all the other research and other case studies presented, I personally believe that he was able to strike a good balance with good lessons for us all.
What Happy Women Know is an easy to read and a great introduction to the concepts of positive psychology for all women. It would make a great holiday present, and a wonderfully affirming read for a break!
Summary of What Happy Women Know: How New Findings in Positive Psychology Can Change Women's Lives for the BetterThe director of Canyon Ranch's award-winning Life Enhancement Program draws on the latest discoveries in psychology and gender-specific medicine to help all women enjoy richer, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
In this innovative book about what brings women happiness, Dr. Dan Baker focuses on the five traps that can compromise happiness and leave women yearning for a better life.
Unlike clinical psychology, which focuses on trying to fix what's wrong with an individual, positive psychology builds on a person's natural strengths. The root of most unhappiness, fear, finds a special expression in women, who too often succumb to the happiness traps of perfectionism, wanton wanting, people pleasing, seeking revenge, thinking I'm nothing without X, and overinvesting in their careers.
In What Happy Women Know, Dr. Baker synthesizes a wide range of current research on how women uniquely respond to life's slings and arrows and how they can best bounce back from them. The book offers women a compelling set of tools that will help them accept the past and actively move toward a happier future of their own design.
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