Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
by Sherrie Eldridge
List Price:
Our Price: $7.80
You Save: $7.20 (48%)
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Buy Used: from $5.97 (click here)
Category: Book
See more book details and other editions
Book Summary Information
Author: Sherrie EldridgeEdition: Paperback
Published: 1999-10-12
ISBN: 044050838X
Number of pages: 240
Publisher: Delta
Book Reviews of Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
Book Review: Not Really Twenty Ideas
Summary: 2 Stars
Sherrie Eldridge, who was adopted as an infant, shares her insights about the deep-felt loss and guilt that can be part of the adoption experience. This was not always an easy book to read, especially in my role as a soon-to-be adoptive dad, but there were some powerful lessons here, as well as a wealth of ideas about parenting.
At the core of this book is the idea of grief and mourning. Whether conscious or not, adopted children have suffered a loss, and they Eldridge believes that it is necessary for this loss to be grieved in order for true emotional integration to take place.
Eldridge draws from a variety of sources, including books and studies on adoption, as well as interviews with many adopted persons, adoptive parents, and (to a lesser extent) birth parents. She includes insights from counselors and therapists who have helped their patients work through adoption-related issues.
The research is extensive, but mostly anecdotal in nature. The author's ideas make sense, but are not always backed up, and it's easy to fall into the trap of simply attributing every behavior or feeling to adoption-related issues. That being said, the parenting advice in this book is quite good, and it definitely raises questions that might not be immediately obvious for those interested in becoming adoptive parents.
The "twenty things" probably could have been cut down to about eight or so, since many of them are restatements of the same basic ideas. Still, there are plenty of ideas and concepts in this book that are definitely worth reflecting on.
Summary of Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
"Birthdays may be difficult for me.""I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family."
"When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me."
"I am afraid you will abandon me."
The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame.
With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents.
Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home.
Relationships Books
Book Subjects
- Arts & Photography
- Audiobooks on Cassette
- Audiobooks on CD
- Biographies & Memoirs
- Business & Investing
- Children's Books
- Comics & Graphic Novels
- Computers & Internet
- Cooking, Food & Wine
- e-Books
- Engineering
- Entertainment
- Gay & Lesbian
- Health, Mind & Body
- History
- Home & Garden
- Horror
- Law
- Literature & Fiction
- Medicine
- Mystery & Thrillers
- Nonfiction
- Outdoors & Nature
- Parenting & Families
- Professional & Technical
- Reference
- Religion & Spirituality
- Romance
- Science
- Science Fiction & Fantasy
- Sports
- Teens
- Travel
Most talked about in Adoption
Affirming the Birth Mother's Journey: A Peer Counselor's Guide to Adoption Counselingby Wendy Lowe, Jutta Wittmeier, Carmen Wittmeier
Trafford Publishing; Published: 2006-02-27; Paperback; Book
Best price: $22.00
Surrendered Child: A Birth Mother's Journey (Awp Award Series in Creative Nonfiction)by Karen Salyer McElmurray
University of Georgia Press; Published: 2004-09; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $2.88
Price in other shops:
The Adoption Reader: Birth Mothers, Adoptive Mothers, and Adopted Daughters Tell Their Storiesby Wadia-Ells
Seal Press; Published: 1995-09-07; Paperback; Book
Best price: $43.13
The Day We Met You (Aladdin Picture Books)Aladdin; Published: 1997-05-01; Paperback; Book
Best price: $2.26
Price in other shops:
Happy Adoption Day!by John McCutcheon
Little, Brown Young Readers; Published: 2001-05-01; Paperback; Book
Best price: $2.00
Price in other shops:
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knewby Sherrie Eldridge
Delta; Published: 1999-10-12; Paperback; Book
Best price: $7.99
Price in other shops:
Adoption Is for Always (An Albert Whitman Prairie Book)by Linda Walvoord Girard
Albert Whitman & Company; Published: 1991-12; Paperback; Book
Best price: $3.24
Price in other shops:
A Blessing from Above (Little Golden Book)by Patti Henderson
Golden Books; Published: 2004-05-11; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $0.50
Price in other shops:
Affirming the Birth Mother's Journey: A Peer Counselor's Guide to Adoption Counselingby Wendy Lowe, Jutta Wittmeier, Carmen Wittmeier
Trafford Publishing; Trafford Publishing; Release date: 2006-07-06; Published: 2006-02-27; Kindle Edition; eBooks
Best price: $7.99
Price in other shops:
Chosen -Songs of Hope Inspired by AdoptionRelease date: 2006-10-01; Music CD
Best price: $13.95
Similar Books and other products
Over the Moon: An Adoption TaleHenry Holt and Co. (BYR); Published: 1997-09-15; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $9.68
Price in other shops:
The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Childby Nancy Verrier
Nancy Verrier; Published: 1993-04; Paperback; Book
Best price: $8.00
Price in other shops:
Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building ConnectionsEMK Press; Published: 2006-07-15; Paperback; Book
Best price: $19.71
Price in other shops:
A Mother for Choco (Paperstar)by Keiko Kasza
Putnam Juvenile; Published: 1996-03-19; Paperback; Book
Best price: $2.11
Price in other shops:
LifeBooks : Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Childby Beth O'Malley
Adoption-Works Press; Published: 2008-02-01; Paperback; Book
Best price: $13.00
Price in other shops:
Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craftby Mary Hopkins-Best
Perspectives Press (IN); Published: 1998-11; Paperback; Book
Best price: $7.85
Price in other shops:
Twenty Life Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Makeby Sherrie Eldridge
Pinon Press; Published: 2003-04; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $12.59
Price in other shops:
Talking with Young Children about Adoptionby Mary Watkins, Susan Fisher
Yale University Press; Published: 1995-02-22; Paperback; Book
Best price: $9.76
Price in other shops:
Raising Adopted Children, Revised Edition: Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parentby Lois Ruskai Melina
Collins Living; Published: 1998-08-01; Paperback; Book
Best price: $4.84
Price in other shops:
Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parentsby Deborah D. Gray
Perspectives Press (IN); Published: 2002-05; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $15.25
Price in other shops: