Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship
by Mira Kirshenbaum

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship
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Book Summary Information

Author: Mira Kirshenbaum
Edition: Paperback
Audio: English (Original Language); English (Unknown); English (Published)
Published: 1997-07-01
ISBN: 0452275350
Number of pages: 304
Publisher: Plume

Book Reviews of Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship

Book Review: insightful & easy to read
Summary: 5 Stars

This book is one of the best relationship advice books I have ever read. Useful not only for people considering leaving, but also for people considering whether or not to make a further commitment.

Rather than looking at problems in a relationship by placing them on a scale (these things are good/those are not) and trying to figure out the weight of each positive or negative aspect of your relationship and then figure out what it adds up to, the author instead teaches us to look at problems in a relationship the way a doctor diagnoses an illness. She asks 36 questions with yes/no answers, and explains the long term consequences of a yes or a no. By the time she has gotten to 36, she has covered every aspect of your relationship. The last chapter then covers what to do next & makes further reading recommendations both if the book helped you decide to leave and if it told you to stay.

The writing style is witty and engaging. Chapters have titles borrowed from pop culture (ie. "you've got a hold on me" & "it's too late baby"). And every question is followed by real world examples of people (men & women, gay people & straight people, old people and young people, people who have been married for years & people who are just dating) whose answer to that question was pivotal in their relationship. Then she distills the advice into a simple pithy guideline. Even if she tells you what you don't want to hear, her words ring true enough to make you pay attention.

Just because the questions have yes/no answers doesn't mean they are simplistic. But it is easy to see how every single question relates to the success of a long term relationship. I highly recommend this book in every way, this is probably the best relationship-advice self-help book that I have ever read.

Summary of Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship

Drawing on case studies, a psychotherapist offers guidelines to help singles and spouses decide whether to leave a relationship or whether enough good remains to make it worth working through conflicts. Reprint."

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