The Ten-Year Nap by Meg Wolitzer
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Book Reviews of The Ten-Year Nap
Book Review: An honest and refreshing perspective on realities of motherhood
Summary: 5 Stars
It's not easy finding a book that "tells it like it is" for our modern-day motherhood. Wolizter peppers enough humor to keep things from getting depressing. The book covers a wide number of characters some in depth more than others. You're bound to identify with several by the time you finish it and feel gratified that you're not alone.Book Review: Wonderful Discussion Book
Summary: 4 Stars
I have been interested in this book for awhile because I thought it related to where I'm at in my life right now. I also thought it would be very appropriate for our book club to discuss since our membership is about half stay-at-home mothers and half working mothers.
I had read many reviews about this book and quite a few of them aren't very complimentary. My one good friend read it and hated it, so I was a little concerned that I wouldn't enjoy this book. It's kind of a love/hate book for many readers. I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by how much I did like this book. I love the title -- "The Ten Year Nap" and thought it was perfect for this story (and even my life right now.) My oldest daughter is turning 10 this summer and I've not worked full-time since she was born. In fact, I have been a full-time stay-at-home mommy for a little over five years. I was around the same age as many of the women in the novel, and I could totally relate to them. That's not to say that I felt like I had things in commons with all of the characters, but some of their comments were so insightful and mirrored some of my own feelings.
What I found so weird for me as I read this book is that I wanted to remember certain passages. I rarely, if ever, find myself grabbing my post-its and marking pages, but so much of this book really spoke to me. I don't know if these are going to make much sense out of context, but the author's words were so close to things that I've actually thought and/or said. Here are just a few examples:
Was education meaningless if you didn't do something with it, or was it justifiable in and of itself, bolstering you for the world that lay ahead, whatever it turned out to be? I think I asked myself this for years when I wasn't entirely sure about my decision to stay at home.
"I don't know," said Karen. "Why do you say "at least" they're trying? Does everyone always to 'do' something? Can't they just enjoy their lives? I do." I loved that Karen pointed out that you can be fulfilled as a stay-at-home mom -- you just have to choose to be happy.
But then it occurred to her that some people might in fact ask the same question about Amy: What did she do with herself all day? I think we've all asked that about other women whether we work or stay-at-home.
But mostly, though, he knew that if you longed for what you did not have, then you would be one of those unhappy people you could find anywhere in any setting, the ones who couldn't appreciate what they had as long as they saw something they did not have. How true is this statement? It's taken me years to realize the wisdom in this thought.
I know some bloggers and reviewers took a little offense to this novel and how Ms. Wolitzer portrayed stay-at-home mothers. I think that's one of the reasons that I appreciated this book so much was that it could mean so many things to so many women. I can certainly understand how they perceived some of the women's comments as an attack on staying at home and how they felt that being a stay-at-home mother isn't validated in the same way as being a working mom; however, I kind of walked away with a different message. While so many of the mothers did whine and cry about the situations in their life (to the point of annoyance), I thought it reflected on them as individuals rather than as stay-at-home mothers as a whole. I was left with the feeling that how I choose to perceive my decision to stay home with my children in entirely my own making -- I can choose to be happy and fulfilled or I can choose to feel like I'm wasting my education and skills. All I know is that when I die, no one is going to write on my tombstone that I'm a terrific worker. But I sure hope I will be remembered as a wonderful mother.
Before any of you think that I am against moms who take care of their kids and work, I want to clear that up right now. I don't believe that there is a right choice -- there is only a right choice for you and your family (and sometimes it's not even a choice if you need the money.) And, I'll admit that there are many days where I wish I could go to work, get a paycheck and talk to adults, etc. I am just so blessed that my husband has given me the choice (and option) to stay-at-home; and I feel that it's the right decision for me at this stage of my life.
One thing that I found interesting about this novel was how the author handled the concept of feminism. So many of the 40 something women had mothers who "paved the way" for their careers. It was almost as if some of their mothers felt as if they were taking a step backwards for choosing to stay at home with their children. My mother chose to stay home with my sister and me so I never felt this pressure, but I definitely don't look at staying home with your kids as a step backwards on the feminist movement. I think I see it a little bit differently -- I think that I have the choice to either work, stay home, or both is how the feminists paved the way for me and other mothers. I think this idea is fascinating and I'm excited to delve into a little deeper at our meeting.
I think THE TEN YEAR NAP is going to be an amazing discussion book, and I can't wait to talk about it with my friends next week. I think we all appreciate each other's decisions to stay at home or work, so I don't think the discussion is going to be uncomfortable at all. I'm actually looking forward to having some dissenting opinions on the book -- so often, we all agree on the book and there's not a whole lot to talk about. I don't think that will be true for this novel, and I'm pretty sure that there will be some heated discussion about the characters. There is a reading guide to get our conversation going; however, I don't think that's going to be a problem.
Book Review: The Ten Year Nap
Summary: 4 Stars
"I am lost in the middle of my life". This sentence from The Ten Year Nap sums up the storyline beautifully. The story skips back and forth through the lives of four women all whom had college educations and high-powered jobs. Then when they began their families, they made the decision to stay home and raise their chidren. Although they didn't regret their decision, they did question who they were and their importance in the world. Why couldn't they have it all? Was life just about packing lunches and working at the school?
I think most women have days when they feel just this way. There are those days where the PTA meeting has gone on a little too long debating over which assembly would most benefit the students. Or wondering if there is time to go to the grocery store, the dry cleaners, the gym, and still pick up carpool. Or the ever present question... will the stain cleaner will really get out ground in dirt? The "glamorous" life of employment with matching outfits, power outfits, and scintillating conversation with adults can be a siren's call.
Sometimes the book felt a little too whiney. It seemed as if the characters focused too much on what they were missing instead of focusing on what they were gaining. But nonetheless, it was poignant and reflective. I think all women will enjoy this story and all women will take away their own lessons. Long after I finished the story, I was still thinking about the characters, their choices, and my choices. Ambition, marriage, and motherhood...what choices have you made?
Book Review: All around the country, the women were waking up.
Summary: 4 Stars
I found this to be a great book. I was hooked from page one. The way Meg Wolitzer writes, you almost forget you are reading fiction.
This is a book about motherhood. About moms who work and about ones who don't. I think any mom could relate to the characters in this book and the feelings they have. How many of us hasn't felt guilty at leaving our children with a sitter while we go to work? Or how many moms haven't felt like they had to defend their choice to be stay at home moms, especially once the children are a bit older?
This is also a book about friendship and family and just life in general. As I said, it almost reads like non fiction at times.
There were several passages that I could really relate to, like this one:
'You were the gatekeeper and nerve center and the pulsing, chugging heart of your family, the one whom everyone came to and needed things from. You were the one that had to coax that unconcious child from his bed, day upon day.'
Book Review: Real women real life
Summary: 4 Stars
Marriage and motherhood - what happens 10 years later?
The story focuses on a group of friends from different backgrounds, all with children, who face change in their lives. The women examine and re-examine their relationships, their careers, and try to figure out how they got to where they are.
Although the majority of the events take place in the present time, there are flashbacks to the 60s, 70s and 80s to fill in the back story.
I found the level of detail very satisfying - I came to know each character as a person and understood her situation. The quirkiness and differences between them were really interesting. I could not read it fast, and that was good, as I got to savour the writing.
If you like Anne Tyler, I think you will really enjoy this book. I am looking forward to reading more by Meg Wolitzer.