The Sex-Starved Wife: What to Do When He's Lost Desire

The Sex-Starved Wife: What to Do When He's Lost Desire
by Michele Weiner Davis

The Sex-Starved Wife: What to Do When He's Lost Desire
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Book Summary Information

Author: Michele Weiner Davis
Edition: Hardcover
Published: 2008-01-01
ISBN: 0743266269
Number of pages: 240
Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Book Reviews of The Sex-Starved Wife: What to Do When He's Lost Desire

Book Review: So, The Man has NO responsibility???? HA HA HA
Summary: 1 Stars

I just finished reading this book. I had some problems with it. The problems that I had were with what I took as the author's emphasis on how the wife may be "at fault" (nagging, fighting, and being unimaginative, etc). I found that message to be demeaning, sexist, and very unsupportive to women. Insinuating that women "are" or "if you find yourself" nagging and fighting and angry (which of course is a terrible culturally demeaning characterization). I also object to the characterization that what women need to do is simply spice up the atmosphere in the bedroom - and be "understanding" of your husband's thoughts and needs, this of course is a huge oversimplification of this terrible and life wrecking issue.

I have a non-responsive husband and my experience is that no matter what you do, there is no response. The non-responsive spouse is in control of the sex (as is stated in the book). I am not a nag. I am imaginative. I do discuss. There doesn't appear to be any joint solution to this problem - because it isn't a joint problem --- it is MY problem. He is perfectly happy the way things are. I am the one who is unhappy.

There really wasn't anything in this book about my situation at all. I feel degraded by this book and it's seemingly "simple" solutions which lie entirely in the lap of the woman. Where is the man's responsibility in all of this? I think that the author does a terrible disservice to women who have this problem in their marriage or relationship. The only real help given is exercises for pre-mature ejaculators.

This is a huge problem for women in this country - there is a cultural myth that men are always and forever ready at the drop of a hat - and women and men believe it. There isn't a simple solution to a man who refuses to have sex - dressing up in saran wrap is not going to fix this problem. Giving "Glamour" and "Cosmo" solutions to this huge life wrecking situation is horrible. Shame on the author!

Summary of The Sex-Starved Wife: What to Do When He's Lost Desire

In 2003, bestselling author and relationship expert Michele Weiner Davis' groundbreaking book, The Sex-Starved Marriage described the problems that occur in marriage when one spouse is vastly more interested in sex than the other and more importantly, what the couple could do to fix things. The book created quite a stir, but no one expected what happened next.

Weiner Davis was flooded with e-mails, letters, and phone calls from women, not with "headaches" and other predictable excuses for avoiding sex, but from women who were desperately unhappy because their husbands weren't the least bit interested in sex. Nothing these women said or did got their men to understand the pain and isolation that comes from a sexual void, and despite heartfelt pleas, they were unable to convince their husbands to seek professional help. Add to this the unspoken taboo about discussing low libido in men, and these women were left to believe that they were the only ones dealing with this problem.

If this sounds like your situation, Weiner Davis wants to tell you that you are not alone, and it is not your fault: there is a whole host of reasons why your husband might be experiencing low desire. Although Weiner Davis explains reasons men lose interest in sex--biological issues, personal troubles, and relationship problems--she's convinced that understanding the cause of a problem won't make your sex life any juicier; doing something about it will. The Sex-Starved Wife gives you the tools you need to present the information in the book so that your husband will not become defensive. You'll even learn methods for overcoming sexual dysfunctions such as performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, and effective ways for dealing with pornography or infidelity. If you and your spouse need additional support, Weiner Davis offers concrete advice on how to get your man to visit his doctor or seek other professional help.

When it comes to marriage, Weiner Davis has seen it all. She knows how important loving, satisfying sex is to a healthy marriage. The straightforward, psychobabble-free advice in this book will help you create the intimacy and connection for which you've been longing.

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