The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever

The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever
by Scott Haltzman, Theresa Foy DiGeronimo

The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever
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Book Summary Information

Author: Scott Haltzman, Theresa Foy DiGeronimo
Edition: Paperback
Audio: English (Original Language); English (Unknown); English (Published)
Published: 2007-01-02
ISBN: 0787994146
Number of pages: 288
Publisher: Jossey-Bass

Book Reviews of The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever

Book Review: Worth your time
Summary: 5 Stars

I bought this book for my live-in boyfriend who is dragging his feet about getting married. Needless to say, we haven't always gone about things the right way and our relationship hasn't exactly been perfect. So, I've read a LOT of relationship books lately. I decided I had better check it out before I handed over something that would overwhelm him if it was going to be THE book I gave him. And this is, by far, the best and most practical book I've read yet. It was just as beneficial a read for me as I think it would be for him.

Let me also just say that I am not a good reader- 20 pages at a time at BEST. This book was written in lay terms and the pages flew by. I read 270 pages in 3 days. It was really clear and really engaging. It was an easy read that I looked forward to. Don't get discouraged by one of the first chapters with all the brain and chemical stuff. It's only one chapter and the rest of the book is NOT like that. I plan to get it for many of the men I know for these reasons:

It is reaffirming for men. It says that most therapists don't have proper couple's training and licensing and that they insist that men act more like women. That is why men feel so frustrated. So, it gives real and practical suggestions and suggests that men approach a marriage from the same perspective that a man would approach his job- an area he generally feels pretty competent in. I think most men will like and can relate to this.

I found the author to be very pro-woman in his approach without demeaning men. He placed a high and equal value on both partners in the relationship. He just suggested that both need to reevaluate the way they look at things and that a change in attitude can go a long way.

Also guys, I found that he touched on every subject that I can think women take issue with or are confused by. As I was reading his suggestions, I think I would be truly happy with the outcome if they were applied; not expecting perfection, but recongnizing the effort. Don't ignore ANY sections because they are all things that are important to women- even the ones he spends only a paragraph on. Basically, that was what I interpreted his approach to be- to help you understand the way we view things and why we make your life miserable because of it. ;)

If you are going to try any relationship help book, I would suggest this one for men (but also valuable for women). You won't feel overwhelmed, it's practical, and it is written in a way you will enjoy reading it.

Summary of The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever

Praise for The Secrets of Happily Married Men

"Manly men rest assured: You can hope to become a better husband without having to get in touch with your feminine side. . . . Lively and entertaining, this broad guidebook provides Haltzman's insights illuminated by anecdotes from his online discussion forum for married men."
-Psychology Today

"Haltzman . . . launches his eight strategies with remarkable vigor. More important, they are extraordinarily well fleshed out and convincingly supported with useful 'to do' lists and a multitude of examples. They will no doubt prove helpful to many men struggling to build a happy marriage."
-Publisher's Weekly

"Scott Haltzman, a psychiatrist and Brown University professor, has been studying marriages good and bad for a long time. . . . View marriage as your most important task, Haltzman urges men, and pursue success as you would anything else that matters."
-Washington Post

"Men are good at fixing problems, not talking about them, so Haltzman advises playing to your strength. The genius of this book is that it . . . asks politically incorrect questions about men and women at home-the neglected front in the gender wars."
-New York Times

"The insights in this book reveal a new and effective way for men and women to understand and appreciate each other. It shows what it really takes to create a loving and lasting relationship."
-John Gray, author, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

Marriage and relationships are in crisis. The breakup and divorce rate remain incredibly high, despite all the couples therapy, afternoon talk shows, and other books in the marketplace, many of which describe men as abusive commitment phobic creeps who'd better change fast or else. But this new book is totally different, a whole different way of looking at how to build a successful long-lasting relationship from a man's point of view, men who are happy in their partnerships, who have figured out what works for them in accomplishing the goal of a loving, intimate, lifetime commitment. Dr. Scott Haltzman, Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at Brown University, and founder of www.secretsofmarriedmen.com, has devised a proven method for improving relationships, based on a man's special and unique skills, strengths, powers-as a responsible and motivated worker, manager, leader, problem-solver, partner, husband, and father. Men are different, Dr. Haltzman says. They don't approach relationships with the same skills and techniques that women do-and viva la difference. Dr.Haltzman therefore lays out eight ways, tasks, proven techniques which men have revealed in confidential correspondence to his highly successful website, including The First Way: Make Your Marriage Your Job, The Second Way: Know Your Wife, The Third Way: Be Home Now, The Fourth Way: Expect Conflict and Deal With It, The Fifth Way: Learn to Listen, The Sixth Way: Aim to Please, The Seventh Way: Understand the Truth About Sex, The Eighth Way: Introduce Yourself, and finally, Celebrate Your Love. Within each of these steps, he provides both specific analysis, guidelines and techniques based on male biology, neuro-science, brain differences, unique developmental stages from youth to seniority. To illustrate these ideas in action, he's included wonderful true stories, anecdotes, and confessions from the website. The result is a practical, very entertaining, totally original way to build successful relationships for men and their partners, girlfriends, and wives. For a lasting commitment, a continuing guide to solving inevitable problems and bumps in the road, for more fun, better sex, genuine intimacy, and a life-long partnership-this dynamic new author shows the way in a manner that finally includes an authentic male perspective.

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