The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart

The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart
by Jan Hunt

The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart
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Book Summary Information

Author: Jan Hunt
Foreword: Peggy O'Mara
Edition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2001-12-01
ISBN: 0865714401
Number of pages: 192
Publisher: New Society Publishers

Book Reviews of The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart

Book Review: A rare and guiding light of a book
Summary: 5 Stars

I am a clinical psychologist with a lot of experience working with families and parenting issues, and I have seldom read a book with as much profound insight and practical value as "The Natural Child." It is one of those rare books which is transformational in nature. If only parents dealing with complicated and unfortunate difficulties with older children could have read this book before they got started - I might be out of a job. In a marvelously clear, respectful, and direct fashion the author brings to light the simple, common sense principle(s) and practices for helping children grow with a strong sense of inner worth, dynamic creativity, and solid inner happiness, all characteristics of those rare and exceptional individuals Abraham Maslow refers to as "self-actualized."
How do happy, productive, and caring individuals get that way? What is the principle? In its most elementary form the author asserts it is nothing other than the wisdom of the Golden Rule itself applied to our most important responsibility - helping our children realize their full dynamic and creative potential - helping them grow with an unshakable appreciation for the magnificent miracle that human life truly is. Indeed, this is what all parents want.
It's a matter of gold or garbage. The heart of an impressionable newborn is like an empty emotional vessel, completely innocent and fully magnificent in its potential, but containing as yet no emotional resentments, no disturbance, and no negative patterns or destructive pathologies resorted to in later years to try and cope with an inner sense of "something missing" or with unconscious emotional scars. These diversions happen, (you name it - addictions, crime, emotional disorders, and so on... ), when the experience of being fully loved as a child is found in some way to be less than it should have been. These inner, emotional patterns and realities are the ones that get fixed first in life and are the deepest - the ones most powerful in terms of influencing behavior and experience throughout the remainder of life. When little hearts are filled with gold, gold is what you get. Filled with garbage, garbage is what you get.
According to the author, the gold is meeting the real and legitimate needs of children, as nature intended - the vital need for unconditional love which encompasses all the following: having a child's innate desire to live and do right be trusted, the experience of full joyousness with life, the freedom to explore interests, a strong sense of individual worth, loving and positive interaction with parents and others, and the right nourishment, both physical and emotional. The garbage is anything less than that, all the "half-truths" and often confusing alternatives. Unfortunately, in today's society, the garbage is too often mistaken for the gold.
For example, many today still believe that some form of punishment is necessary to create good values and behavior. Some think it gold, but what an unfortunate fallacy. The author explains this so clearly that given a little honesty and open-mindedness it can't be missed. "Punishment, threats, and humiliation never achieve long-term goals because they provoke anger, create resentment, and diminish the bond between parent and child." The author offers practical and growth-oriented alternatives - what to do instead. Again, some believe that allowing infants to "cry it out" is gold because it develops character or some such thing - but it is fools gold only. "In all innocence, a baby assumes that we, her parents, are correct -whatever we do is what we ought to be doing. If we do nothing, the baby can only conclude that she is unloved because she is unlovable." Again, practical and healthy alternatives are provided. Or, that co-sleeping with your children has inherent risks, isn't right somehow, or may spoil an infant. However, "Cribs force babies to face the long night alone years before they are psychologically equipped to do so. Isolation teaches harmful messages of mistrust, forced "co-operation" through despair, and instills a deep sense of loneliness that no teddy bear can fulfill." Again, all the initial doubts and practical considerations about family co-sleeping are covered. And these are only examples.
The remarkable value of this book lies in its ability to shed light on and reinforce much of what already exists in the heart of the parent, but may not be clear enough to act upon. In this sense, her work truly advocates perfectly "natural" parenting, freeing parents from societal misconceptions and expectations and pointing the way for parenting to be a process guided by the deepest levels of one's own heart. It dispels the confusion about what full and unconditional love is and really means, and provides abundant practical advice on how to hold that wholly vital principle as the only viable principle for raising happy children - real, genuine, and brilliantly glowing gold.
I'm not just recommending this book. I implore you to read it and share what you gained with those young or expecting families you care about. In a world which in many ways has signs for hope, this book is ahead of its time. It is the parenting of an enlightened future. It ought to be required reading in school. On the five star system provided, I give "The Natural Child" a full ten stars.
I should also mention that the author, Jan Hunt, offers telephone counseling and maintains a comprehensive and highly respected website. See "The Natural Child Project." It contains a wealth of excellent information and articles from a variety of relevant authors.

Summary of The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart

The Natural Child is the instruction manual that should have come with your child.
Derek Markham, ecoBrain

The Natural Child makes a compelling case for a return to attachment parenting, a child-rearing approach that has come naturally for parents throughout most of human history. In this insightful guide, parenting specialist Jan Hunt links together attachment parenting principles with child advocacy and homeschooling philosophies, offering a consistent approach to raising a loving, trusting, and confident child. The Natural Child dispels the myths of "tough love," building baby's self-reliance by ignoring its cries, and the necessity of spanking to enforce discipline. Instead, the book explains the value of extended breast-feeding, family co-sleeping, and minimal child-parent separation.

Homeschooling, like attachment parenting, nurtures feelings of self-worth, confidence, and trust. The author draws on respected leaders of the homeschool movement such as John Taylor Gatto and John Holt, guiding the reader through homeschool approaches that support attachment parenting principles.

Being an ally to children is spontaneous for caring adults, but intervening on behalf of a child can be awkward and surrounded by social taboo. The Natural Child shows how to stand up for a child's rights effectively and sensitively in many difficult situations.

The role of caring adults, points out Hunt, is not to give children "lessons in life"?but to employ a variation of The Golden Rule, and treat children as we would like to have been treated in childhhood.

Jan Hunt is the Director of The Natural Child Project, Coordinator of the Canadian Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children in British Columbia, and on the Board of Directors for Attachment Parenting International. She lives in Victoria, British Columbia.

 

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