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The Mystic Arts of Erasing All Signs of Death: A Novel by Charlie Huston
Book Summary InformationAuthor: Charlie Huston Edition: Hardcover Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published) Published: 2009-01-13 ISBN: 034550111X Number of pages: 336 Publisher: Ballantine Books
Book Reviews of The Mystic Arts of Erasing All Signs of Death: A NovelBook Review: Loved this although I shouldn't have Summary: 5 Stars
Customer review from the Amazon Vine™ Program (What's this?)
"The Mystic Arts of Erasing All Signs of Death" is one of those books I would classify as a guilty pleasure. When discussing fiction with other intellectuals, I would probably disclaim all knowledge of this book. But privately, I LOVED IT and will most assuredly be buying more books by Huston.
This is not the kind of novel a 15-year-old girl should admit to reading, especially to her parents. (And no, I don't fit into that category.) It is also not the kind of novel one would expect a fifty-something professional woman to be reading. (And I'll never admit to fitting into that category, either.) In fact, I can't think of anyone who could comfortably admit to reading this book to any member of his/her family. Unless the reader is homeless and has no family members who can read.
But to restate: I loved this book.
Any book that begins with the hero engaged in an argument about who is the bigger jerk (except not using that term) is, well, it's funny. I know it should not be, but it is. It may be juvenile, but I can't help loving a character who can smart-mouth someone while they are kicking the heck out them.
So I should start by saying, this book is not for you if...
If you find swearing offensive.
If the thought of exploding bodies fills you with disgust.
If sick, cynical humor doesn't tickle your funny bone.
If you can't stand to read books with experimental punctuation.
Or if you don't find yourself laughing at hopelessly inappropriate moments. (This is a terrible fault of mine that I can't seem to control.)
This book is not for the faint of heart, or the remorselessly, politically correct. Or those who insist the normal rules of grammar be followed.
"The Mystic Arts..." is about those marginal characters you see hanging around in the alleys behind tattoo parlors. People who cling to the fringes of Society and are so often ignored and passed by (in a hurry) by People Who Have A Real Job. So if the lost, the marginal, and the dysfunctional disturb you, then again, this is not the book for you.
But did I mention that I love this book?
It is not, however, without flaws. But the storytelling is so excellent, and you are so drawn into Web's woes and concerns that the flaws, such as they are, don't really matter. This is a brilliant piece of fiction, consisting almost entirely of dialog, that dramatically reveals Web's life at the point of transformation.
But there was a flaw.
There exists a certain set of authors who believe our rules for punctuation and grammar are not good enough. They insist on creating their own rules. (I read a great deal of experimental fiction, so I am not speaking from an uneducated, "never-seen-this-before" perspective.) They believe this enhances the immediacy of their work. Or whatever they believe in their supreme over-confidence.
They are always wrong.
Perhaps Huston believes his system makes the dialog "more real". I did not find this to be the case. It merely made it annoying. I liked the book in spite of this, not because of it.
In fact, although I got the hang of his punctuation after a couple of pages, there were several places where I had no idea. I reread a few sections three or four times and never really figured out which character was saying what.
Note, however: I loved it despite, not because of, the peculiar punctuation and grammar. The bizarre punctuation did not help. In fact, it hindered.
Sigh.
So anyway, in order to present a useful review of "The Mystic Arts of Erasing All Signs of Death" I read a few of the other criticisms. If at all possible, I wanted to present some new perspective to help potential buyers make the ultimate decision to plunk down their hard earned money.
Some reviewers remarked about what they considered to be a meandering, slow-to-start plot. I have to disagree with this, vehemently. Yes, it might seem that way if you only consider plot to be external events and "stuff" that happens to a character. Web, the main character, is initially occupied with sleeping and sponging off his best friend.
But there is a huge transformation taking place, and that is the real plot. Web is crawling out of his comfortable stasis. He is forced to come to terms with his situation and life. While action-wise he spends an inordinate amount of time having extremely funny and snarky conversations with a variety of people, beneath it all, it is about his character transformation.
He gets a job and realizes he actually wants to work. He wants to face life again instead of sleeping 18 hours out of 24. And we see this process in all its quirky, funny glory as he begins to work, finds himself in a relationship, and is forced out of his shell. We find out about past traumas and what it takes to overcome the inertia of shock and grief.
It is not all about external events/action and the mystery he stumbles into on his path to recovery. (If you can call his eventual state recovery. I think you can, but maybe I'm weird.)
Anyway, as with any good novel, once Web starts to try to re-enter the world, all sorts of bad things happen to him. Hence the mystery aspect.
So I have to agree that the first part has very little external action, i.e. people beating up on him. But it is what it has to be.
In the end, I was enthralled and jazzed by this book.
Web was endearing and funny. His predicament was so agonizing that I could not stop reading it. And despite the exploding bodies and gore and things I know I should not laugh at, I read it with a stupid smile on my face and laughter bubbling at the back of my throat.
It's insanely sick and yet, insanely good.
Summary of The Mystic Arts of Erasing All Signs of Death: A NovelWith his teaching career derailed by tragedy and his slacker days numbered, Webster Fillmore Goodhue makes an unlikely move and joins Clean Team, charged with tidying up L.A.'s grisly crime scenes. For Web, it's a steady gig, and he soon finds himself sponging a Malibu suicide's brains from a bathroom mirror and flirting with the man's bereaved and beautiful daughter.
Then things get weird: The dead man's daughter asks a favor. Every cell in Web's brain tells him to turn her down, but something makes him hit the Harbor Freeway at midnight to help her however he can. Soon enough it's Web who needs the help when gun-toting California cowboys start showing up on his doorstep. What's the deal? Is it something to do with what he cleaned up in that motel room in Carson? Or is it all about the brewing war between rival trauma cleaners? Web doesn't have a clue, but he'll need to get one if he's going to keep from getting his face kicked in. Again. And again. And again. Amazon Best of the Month, January 2009: If you love crime fiction--preferably wickedly profane, unabashedly grisly, and laugh-out-loud funny "pulp" fiction--your number one New Year's resolution needs to be to read Charlie Huston. It only takes one to get you so hooked you'll read everything you can get your hands on, so take a couple of days off and give yourself room to binge on the brutal and hilarious Hank Thompson and Joe Pitt series, the blistering Shotgun Rule, and this latest and greatest stand-alone, The Mystic Arts of Erasing All Signs of Death. The best thing about reading a Huston novel is that you never see it coming--laughter, tears, the passing urge to vomit--everything is a surprise, creating a wholly unsettling and exciting reading experience. The Mystic Arts of Erasing All Signs of Death has all the makings of a perfect Charlie Huston novel--the down-but-not-out antihero, the outrageous supporting characters (each of whom deserves their own spin-off), the very bad situation involving money and violence, and the hilariously inappropriate dialogue that is Huston's signature--but with one surprising addition, hope. It does little good to break down the plot of a book this bizarre and brilliant. You're just going to have to trust us (and our Guest Reviewer, Stephen King), and read it. --Daphne Durham
Amazon Exclusive: Stephen King Reviews The Mystic Arts of Erasing All Signs of Death
Stephen King is the author of too many bestselling books to name here, but some of our favorites include: Cell, The Stand, On Writing, The Shining, and his epic Dark Tower series. King also received the National Book Foundation 2003 Medal for Distinguished Contribution to American Letters, has had many movies and television miniseries adapted from his novels, short stories, and screenplays, and is a regular columnist for Entertainment Weekly. Read King's review of Charlie Huston's The Mystic Arts of Erasing All Signs of Death below.
For more from Charlie Huston, check out his "true stories about messes I've seen, helped clean up, and made" on Amazon's books blog, Omnivoracious. There are some things you never wonder about until someone--usually someone whose mind lives on Weird Street--brings them to your attention. Who cuts the barber?s hair? How does a guy wind up with the job of test-smelling armpits for a deoderant company? Or de-wrinkling dress shoes before they?re put on sale? Why does one kid become a college dean while another grows up to be a key grip? And just what is a key grip, anyway? Here?s another one. Who scrubs down the scene after a spectacularly messy death--a guy who shoots himself in the head, let?s say, or dies of natural causes in a hot back room and then goes undiscovered for a couple of weeks? What sort of janitorial problems would such work entail? It turns out there are firms that specialize in those problems, and in the Weird Street world of Charlie Huston, a couple of these companies might even do battle over the smelly, maggoty spoils of war. ?Trauma scene and waste cleaning is a growth industry,? remarks Po Sin, the owner/operator of Clean Team. The observation comes early in Charlie Huston?s terrific new novel, which is about just what the title suggests: getting rid of the messy stuff after the deal goes down. When The Mystic Arts of Erasing All Signs of Death opens, Webster Fillmore Goodhue--another in a long line of likeably slack Huston protagonists--is sponging off his friend Chev, who runs a sleazier-than-thou tattoo parlor. Enter the proprietor of Clean Team, who knows Web from Web?s previous life as an elementary school teacher (a career that ended badly). Po Sin needs help in his particular growth-industry. Web agrees to a little blood- and brain-scrubbing not because he particularly wants a job but because he?s suffered his own trauma and finds cleaning up other people?s end-of-life messes strangely soothing. Enter Soledad, a beautiful young girl whose father just aired out his brains with a 9mm. Also enter Jaime, her half-bright half-brother who imagines himself a Hollywood playa but can?t get out of his own way. There are many things to love about Charlie Huston?s fiction--he?s a brilliant storyteller, and writes the best dialogue since George V. Higgins--but what pushes my personal happy-button is his morbid sense of humor and seemingly effortless ability to create scary/funny bad guys who make Beavis and Butthead look like Rhodes Scholars. There are a lot of those in this book, and several I-can?t-believe-I-laughed-at-that scenes of grue (I can?t even talk about the pipe-bomb thing, not on a family website), but the best thing about Mystic Arts is how decency and heroism rise to the top in spite of everyone?s best efforts to crush them under heel. Web wanders from the nightmarish underworld of body clean-up into the equally nightmarish worlds of hijacking and smuggling; he endures cross, double-cross, and triple-cross; he pees his pants while trying to shield his girlfriend from a bullet. He?s scared but never cowardly, down but never completely out. He is, in short, a guy worth watching. So?s Charlie Huston. He?s written several very good books (including the Caught Stealing trilogy and the Joe Pitt novels, which concern a PI who?s also a vampire), but this is the first authentically great one, a runaway freight that feels like a combination of William Burroughs and James Ellroy. Mystic Arts is, however, fiercely original--very much its own thing. Besides, admit it: you?ve always wanted to know how to get blood out of a deep-pile carpet.
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