The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick, Alex Kendrick
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Book Reviews of The Love Dare
Book Review: I Love You, Darling, and I Triple-Dog Dare You!
Summary: 5 Stars
[The good folks at Sherwood Baptist Church will appreciate your NO NO NO NO NO NO NO on the helpfullness of the review below. Show your support for those husbands who not only took the Love Dare, but also completed the workbook! Fireproof your soul. This review is STUPID! Do'nt even read it. Just say NO!
-- (HCA/Hackers for Christ, Anonymous]
THE LOVE DARE is a lovely challenge for any married person (a Christian husband,especially) who lacks the moral development of your average middle-school boy, ages 12-14, and who could use some sound advice on how to be less beastly.
If you are a grouchy, hypercritical husband--or withdrawn, or deranged, or abusive, or narcissistic--if you cannot love your wife as an adult without being "dared"--then now is the time to take THE LOVE DARE, which is actually one dare each day, for forty days.
Day One. The first Dare is the DARE TO BE PATIENT. For example, if your wife says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache," well then, don't quote 1 Corinthians 7:4 at her.
When she STILL says, "No," don't smack her up the side of the head with your NIV Study Bible. DARE TO BE PATIENT! Tomorrow is another night, you can try again.
(Keep a pencil handy. At the end of the day, when you have completed the Dare, there is a little check box provided, for you to make a note of your progress toward saving the marriage.)
Day Two. The second Dare is the DARE TO BE KIND. For example: you might just take out the garbage for once, you lazy sonuvabitch. You might put down the toilet seat after you've gone pee. And on Night Two, if she still has a headache, so what? Be kind. Give her a foot massage. If that doesn't work, remind her that you took out the garbage, for once. If that still doesn't work, remember Dare #1.
Day Three. The third Dare is the DARE TO BE UNSELFISH. This can be quite the challenge if you are an evangelical Christian who has been trained to think mostly of your own salvation and not of others. But don't think of them, think of your wife. Be unselfish toward her all day long, even after you get home from the office: Don't take the biggest piece of dessert. Don't hog the television remote. Don't use up all the hot water for one of those 30-minute showers. Above all, don't let your wife read THE LOVE DARE. Otherwise, on Night 3, when you get amorous, if she has read THE LOVE DARE, she might say: "No, not tonight, just let me go to sleep, you selfish bastard!" -- And if she says that, you will have no choice but to roll over, because you took the Day-Three Dare to Be Unselfish, and now you can't go back on it.
The Day Four Dare is pretty elaborate: "Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing, and if there is anything you could do for them. ____ Check here when you have completed today's dare."
Just my opinion, but I think Day Four may be a good day for your wife to take the Dare for once, instead of you. And when she finally calls you at the office and says, "Sweetie, is there anything I can do for you?" then you should dare to say "Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!!!" It won't take more than five minutes, I promise.
--L
Book Review: Unconditional Love
Summary: 5 Stars
"The only way love can last a lifetime is if it is unconditional." ~ pg. 46
I haven't seen the movie so I can't compare this book to the one read in the movie. I can however compare this book to numerous books I've read about marriage and I'm here to say that this is one of the best books you could ever read. Instead of dealing with superficial remedies this book goes for the heart of the matter and addresses spiritual growth within a marriage.
Each "devotional" begins with a Bible verse and ends with a "dare." You can read the book two ways. You could read it all in one night, making notes about what you would like to try or simply read one dare a day. I chose to do the former and wrote down 21 ideas I would really try or have been trying. Since I read a lot of marriage books I was already trying out some of the ideas in this one. Some of the suggestions included:
Buy something that says "I was thinking of you."
Give a back massage - Massage Bar by LUSH
Say: "I choose to love you."
Forgive
Be patient - not angry
While this can at times be a more serious book there is also some humor like "welcome to fallen humanity." Sometimes you just have to look at your marriage in a more humorous way, after all we are only human trying to reach for the divine.
The advice in this book will not only make your marriage better it will also transform you from the inside out. You will literally become a more loveable person, therefore being more attractive to your mate. I loved the ideas in this book and wrote out my favorite dares on one sheet of paper so I could remember to follow the advice on a continual basis. If you are looking for more books on this subject, I can recommend:
Cracking the Communication Code: The Secret to Speaking Your Mate's Language
How to Get Your Husband to Talk to You
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men
The New Physics of Love: The Power of Mind & Spirit in Relationships (Six Cassettes and Study Guide Box Set)
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex
Who's Pushing Your Buttons?
~The Rebecca Review
Book Review: Hope For Those Unequally Yoked
Summary: 5 Stars
I became a Believer 5 years ago. Married for 6 years to a beautiful, amazing woman and blessed with 2 adorable children from this union, why do this 'challenge'? Why read this book?
I love my wife, and our marriage thrives. Sometimes I think if men would simply, truly love their wives, divorce would go out the window. In general, and forgive me for generalities, woman thrive at relationships and social activities if we give them a reason.
My dilemma: I became a Christian and my wife didn't. Still, our relationship works even with an essentially 'New Ager' married to a 'Jesus Freak'. I pray and witness to my family openly and try to do it with love and without a better than you, condemning, preachy attitude. But I'm flawed, and sometimes she'll roll her eyes or sigh, and either I or her get a bit defensive or worse, offensive. Whew!
The Kendricks' 40 day challenge offers daily encouragement essentially for Believers; although, anyone could benefit from a program that stresses kindness, attentiveness and re-discovery, but unless non-Christians are open and friendly towards the Faith, most will probably be put off by the Christian theme.
If you like a daily to-do format and the feeling of having a 40 day period of cleansing, starting over, renewal, I strongly recommend this for you. Most of the challenges are simply commonsense, but it's nice to hear it in short, digestable pieces and wonder what tomorrow's challenge will bring. And of course, it goes well with the movie.
I gave it 5 stars, not because it's a great, voluminous revelation, not that now I'm highly enlighted as my wife might say, and not just because I'm a Jesus freak, but because it calmed me down and help release my control; it urged me to look deeper, to want to give more freely without conditions, to try to love without too many expectations and to appreciate her for her. And as a man and a Christian, may I say: everything in the world is not about me!
"Yes, yes, I know all this." But, it sure helps to repeat it and be reminded of what's really important.
Finally, did it help my marriage? Yes! She didn't know what I was up to. And not to brag, because we struggle with life problems like anyone, and she's still a non-Believer(that's in God's hands) but our closeness and intimacy jumped to a fresh, new level. There's fireworks in more ways than I can say. Whatever you do, there's always hope, start anew.
Book Review: Work or Unemployment Straining the Marriage? Take "The Love Dare"
Summary: 5 Stars
When I was unemployed and obsessed with finding work, I was so focused on finding work my marriage and relationships suffered. When I returned to work, in a job I really enjoyed, my natural bent to overachieve took over. Once again my marriage took a back seat. I can get so focused on my "projects" as I like to call them the pursuit drives a wedge between my wife and me. I want to share a "project" I assigned to myself recently that helped me address this problem. I took "The Love Dare."
My wife and I saw the movie "Fireproof." It tells the story of a fireman in a failing marriage. Before calling in the lawyers, his father begs him to try "The Love Dare." It had saved the father's marriage so he offers the solution to his son. The son reluctantly takes the advice, if only to please his father, and begins taking on the 40 dares spelled out in the book. At first his wife is suspicious of his motives, but she slowly comes around. As expected his work pays off and the move ends with a Hollywood style happy ending.
My wife of 24 years and I have a good marriage, but not having selected a Lenten sacrifice, I decided to get me a copy of the book. The book presents 40 dares to be completed in 40 days. Each dare consists of simple three-page lesson discussing a different aspect or quality of love. Each takes about 10 minutes to complete. Each lesson then asks or, better yet, dares you to take action and demonstrate that aspect of love to your spouse.
Some of the challenges are very specific asking you to demonstrate kindness or patience. Others have you to consider if you are loving your spouse unconditionally or are you jealous. I hadn't thought about love this way in a while and it certainly made clear I was falling short of the mark. It challenged me to review how I demonstrate love my wife versus how I should be. And my learnings convinced me to make some changes.
With my wife's permission, I published a letter I wrote her upon completing "The Love Dare." You can find it at [...]. I thought it was the best way to describe what I learned and hope it will help you consider if "The Love Dare." is for you.
Book Review: Understanding but, wrong advice to give.
Summary: 5 Stars
Most people won't express any of the movie or book's strong points because either their marriage is failing or has failed. I'm a christian but, not the christian that I want to be because I really need some work. I'm not perfect but, I am getting closer to God than I have been in the past. Just give me more time. I saw the movie and it hit home. I read the first four pages and understood every word. Most men, as I am, aren't as affectionate as women are so we tend to not show our feelings no matter the outcome or situation. If and when our marriages are failing we really want to mend it quickly. We are very impatient when it comes to anything because when we want it, and we want it now when indeed we can't have it just yet. Patience is a virtue. Just by reading the first four days I learned to let go, and let God. I even recommended it to a friend whose talking with his wife about not leaving him and she's thinking about not ending the marriage. I know that it isn't the Christian way but, to those who give this book and the movie bad reviews including, negative advice on seeking counseling, believe it or not sometimes seeing a person who has qualifications to give counseling doesn't necessary make him qualified to fix your marriage. They might be going through some things with their marriage. Most of the time the counselors aren't even married so how could they really understand where you come from? If it's negative, don't say anything at all because compared to the 5 negative reviews, there were over 200 that were 5 star. They may have read this book, got a message from it but, their spouse may have not recieved it the way that they did. You can't expect not to treat your wife the way you did when you were dating. You know when you bought her flowers, candy, stuffed bears, and jewelry to impress her and get to bed. Sorry to hurt a few feelings but, it's true. My apologies to everyone if I've offended you but, "GOD AIN'T THROUGH WITH ME YET"!