The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful, and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition
by Harvey Karp
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Book Summary Information
Author: Harvey KarpBrand: Random House
Edition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2008-08-26
ISBN: 0553384422
Number of pages: 336
Publisher: Bantam
Product features:
- ISBN13: 9780553384420
- Condition: New
- Notes: BRAND NEW FROM PUBLISHER! 100% Satisfaction Guarantee. Tracking provided on most orders. Buy with Confidence! Millions of books sold!
Book Reviews of The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful, and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition
Book Review: Humor and Help for Frazzled Toddler Parents
Summary: 5 Stars
The basic gist of the book is that in order to get through to our toddlers' still-developing "cave kid" brains, we need to, first, mirror what they are saying so that they know their feelings and communications have been heard and are acknowledged, and, second, use a particular way of talking that relies on short, repetitive phrases. Sounds simple in a way, but the truth is that this is not a very intuitive way to communicate -- particularly when you're dealing with a child who is very upset. The author points out that our typical response to an upset child is to talk quietly, trying to dissuade or distract the child from the situation -- and that's definitely true as far as my usual strategy . . . until I read this book. I first put the book's technique into action actually when I was still just halfway through the book. My 2 1/2 year old daughter woke up in hysterics at about 2 AM. When I went to her room half-dazed and desperate to calm her, I just reflexively resorted to the technique because I'd been reading about it the prior evening. I started mirroring her emotions with words such as, "You're crying! You say, Mommy hold me! You say, Mommy I'm scared!" As per the book's instructions, I also tried to capture at least some of my daughter's distraught emotional state in my tone of voice and with my gestures. I kept repeating the technique as she progressed through a few demands over the course of 5 - 10 minutes. But, the point is that the situation ended in JUST 5 or 10 minutes (not an hour or more as it has sometimes been in the past). I also remember clearly at one point, as I was mirroring my daughter's woes, she looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah!" She knew that she was being heard! For me, that moment showed me the validity of this technique. Toddler's are pretty smart, but they are emotionally immature ("cave kids") and their language skills are not that well developed. So, when a young child is upset and trying to get her point across, and then the parent responds with soft words that try to diminish the upset rather than acknowledge it . . . of course the kid gets even madder and more frustrated. Here she is screaming her little lungs out trying to get her point across and all Mommy does is try to hush her up. When my daughter responded "Yeah!" to my mirroring statements what I really saw in her eyes was relief: Mommy gets it! Mommy understands what I'm saying! Soon after that point, she let me calm her and put her back in her crib. And as I lay nearby until she fell back asleep, all I could think to myself was, "Oh my gosh -- this stuff works!!" I also want to mention that the rest of the book has a lot of great reminders about how to best communicate with our toddlers so that they feel respected and loved, while we get the essential outcomes we need and want to keep our kids safe and our homes sane. Reading these tips has reminded me that we can get a lot more out of our kids (and really out of life in general) with honey than with vinegar. Our toddlers want to have fun and feel empowered and the path of least resistance is often to let them do both, while still ensuring that essential rules are respected in the household. I appreciate the author's candor in saying that with toddlers a "fair" outcome may be the toddler having it her way 90% of the time, with the parent winning 10% of the time (at least, if we're smart, that's how the toddler will perceive things). So, it's not a 50-50 deal, but I'm okay with that because at the end of the day I know that the 10% stuff is what is really essential for me and my family and the 90% is mostly what being a parent should be about -- spending time playing with and enjoying our kids.
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Summary of The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful, and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition
This streamlined revision of the breakthrough bestseller by renowned child-development expert Dr. Harvey Karp will do even more to help busy parents survive the ?terrible twos? and beyond....In one of the most revolutionary advances in parenting of the past twenty-five years, Dr. Karp revealed that toddlers often act like uncivilized little cavemen, with a primitive way of thinking and communicating that is all their own. In this revised edition of his parenting classic, Dr. Karp has made his innovative approach easier to learn?and put into action?than ever before.
Combining his trademark tools of Toddler-ese and the Fast-Food Rule with a highly effective new green light/yellow light/red light method for molding toddler behavior, Dr. Karp provides fast solutions for today?s busy and stressed parents. As you discover ways to boost your child?s good (green light) behavior, curb his annoying (yellow light) behavior, and immediately stop his unacceptable (red light) behavior you will learn how to soothe his stormy outbursts with amazing success?and better yet, prevent these outbursts before they begin! And the new thirty-item glossary of Dr. Karp?s parenting techniques will save you valuable time when you need to instantly calm an out-of-control child. The result: fewer tantrums, less yelling, and more happy, loving time for you and your child.
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