The Government Manual for New Wizards
by Matthew David Brozik, Jacob Sager Weinstein
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Book Summary Information
Author: Jacob Sager Weinstein, Matthew David BrozikEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2006-05-01
ISBN: 0740757326
Number of pages: 192
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Book Reviews of The Government Manual for New Wizards
Book Review: Excellent for a few good laughs
Summary: 5 Stars
Ok, I admit it. I went to the midnight release of thelast Harry Potter book. I went with someone who had preordered a copy and because I wanted to go. Waiting in line once the book was finally released wasn't any fun, but I was more intrested to see how both the kids and adults were reacting to the release.
While there I saw this little book, "The Government Manual for New Wizards." I picked it up and skimmed through it, getting a couple of good chuckles before I put it down and walked away. But I walked right back to it a couple minutes later just to look through it some more. This went on for fifteen-twenty minutes before I finally convinced myself to actually buy it. I was finding it funny, just a spoof book that poked fun at Harry Potter, the fantasy genre in general, things like "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," the first and second installments in "The Santa Clause trilogy. government manuals,ghosts, etc.. If I bought it, then I'd have more time to pursue it at home without being distracted too often by the folks there at the store that night. Well, I have been pleased that I did.
As I said, the book is clearly meant as a spoof. The first thing that should clue on in on this is the synopsis on the back. It tells you flat out that this book is a spoof. And that's ok because it's not meant to be taken seriously. Nor is it meant to deride things like Harry Potter. It is simply meant to get a few laughs out of it. And that is exactly what it does.
According to the book there is a right way and a wrong way to greet various types of dead beings. For example, a right way of greeting a vampire is asking it what blood type goes with a certain type of fish while a wrong way is to invite it to see your crucifix collection. Now all the legends, stories, and such I've ever heard about vampires usually makes it clear their not gonna eat fish, or anything else for that matter. They typically are depicted as being sustained off blood alone. And the crucific is depicted as something vampires despise and are repelled by. Plus most people wouldn't think about greeting a vampire, the natural impulse would be to run. But it's the thought of how you might greet these dead beings (and I'm not talking just vampires) that lends itself to the humor here.
Or what about getting into a chocolate factory? How many of us have read the book "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" or seen the movies based on the book? If the real Willy Wonka manufacturing company were to run a promotion whereby if you got a gold ticket you got a tour of the factory then there would be folks who'd be intrested in finding one of those tickets. Now imagine you could turn lead into gold. Be real easy to take a lead ticket that looks like the gold one andtransform it into a winning ticket, right? Well under the book's seventh chapter, it's illegal to do exactly that.
When buying a ticket to a magical form of entertainment or a sporting event, one should always be wary of the fine print. Remember "The Santa Clause?" The fine print on the Santa buisnes card said putting on the coat made you Santa. But there was even finer print, revealed in "The Santa Clause 2," that said you had to have a Mrs. Claus by a certain time or you stopped being Santa. Well that buisness card had nothing on the tickets mentioned in this book. Their fine print may even be written in a different dimension so you can't see it when you buy the tickets!
Nothing that might have even a hint of magic to it in some way is beyond the reach of this book to spoof.
Summary of The Government Manual for New Wizards
The comedic duo behind The Government Manual for New Superheroes is back, and this time they've brought their magic wands and enchanted artifacts.The Government Manual for New Wizards is a hilarious, mock-official handbook for wannabe witches and warlocks who need advice on recognizing the onset of wizardolescence, understanding the laws of magic (and the magic of laws), choosing (or being chosen by) the right magical items and enchanted artifacts, dealing with the dead (grateful and otherwise), successfully hosting magical exhibitions, and the proper care and feeding of magical creatures.
Wands, charms, cloaks of invisibility, shoes of stealth (or sneakers), and other otherworldly accoutrements--it's all here, discussed tongue-in-cheek but with the utmost Governmental authority.
This entertaining guide offers such sage advice as:
* A demon is just as afraid of you as you are of it--provided, of course, that you are eight feet tall, composed of living fire, and capable of destroying a small village with a single angry thought. Otherwise, it doesn't find you frightening at all.
* When selecting educational programs, do not be tempted by solicitations from wizardry parchment mills. A so-called degree from such a place is not worth the scroll on which it appears to be inscribed. The ink will disappear not long after the school itself does.
The Government Manual for New Wizards is a sidesplitting spoof of all things wizard-y.
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