The Five Love Languages of Children
by Gary D. Chapman, Ross Campbell MD, Ross Campbell
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Book Summary Information
Author: Gary D. Chapman, Ross Campbell, Ross Campbell MDEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 1997-06-01
ISBN: 1881273652
Number of pages: 224
Publisher: Northfield Publishing
Product features:
- Deep Down Unconditional Love
- Every Child Needs to Hear It
- Do You Know How to Express Love to your Child
- Find out your Child's love langugage: Qualtiy Time
- Words of Affirmation-Gifts-Acts of Service-Physical Touch.
Book Reviews of The Five Love Languages of Children
Book Review: eSSENTIAL rEADING for pARENTS
Summary: 5 Stars
(¤Thank you for reading this review and your votes - either way!¤)
INTRO:
Gary Chapman once again delivers a best-seller ("over 600,000 sold") by applying the 5 Love Languages to children.
AUTHORS:
Ross Campbell is the source of visdom behind this book. He "is the author of 'How to Really Love Your Child' which sold over one million copies. He is an associate professor of pediatrics and psychiatry."
Gary Chapman "is ... the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. Gary travels the world presenting seminars and his radio program airs on more than 100 stations."
CONTENT:
Amazon.com allows you to have a Look Inside (where one will find the Table of Contents). While I have read the Five Love Languages (men's edition) before, and was familiar with the topics, the books first 6 chapters left like a review.
What I liked about the format of the book is that:
1) it is a pretty short book and very easy to read (only 212 pages)
2) each love language chapter ends with a list (Action Plan)of ideas and activities for parents to do and show their child the specific love
3) individual chapters on anger (especially passive-aggressive), discipline, and learning.
4) book ends with a list of suggested further reading and an Assessment Game.
The followings are excerpts from the book that will give you some flavor about its content:
LOVE IS THE FOUNDATION - Chapter 1
- "perhaps the way that has the greatest potential for has is to not properly communicate love to our children ... Love is the foundation to a secure child who grows into a giving, loving adult." (pg.7)
- "training our children and teenagers to manage anger is the most difficult task of parenting. ... discipline (chapter 8) .. two key words .. pleasant and firm." (pg.8)
- "Speaking your child's primary love language does not mean he or she will not rebel later. It does mean your child will know you love him, and that can bring him security and hope; it can help you to read your child to responsible adulthood. Love is the foundation. ... Only the child who 'feels' genuinly loved and cared for can do her best." (pg.16)
- "We must fill our children's emotional tanks for them to operate as they should and reach their potential. ... necesarry to train and/or discipline our children - but only after their emotional tanks have been filled." (pg.17)
- "we give and show love to our child all the time, even when her behavior is poor. ... A child's emotional tank must be filled before any effective training or discipline can take place" (pg.20)
- "universla need of children .. healthy self-esteem .. security and safety .. develop relational skills ... Success in all parts of life is contingent on understanding and respecting authority." (pg.22)
- "the emotional foundation of life is laid in the first eighteen months of life, particularly in the mother/child relationship. The 'food' for future emotional health is physical touch, kind words, and tender care." (pg.23)
- "The sad thruth is that few children feel unconditionally love and cared for. And yet, it is also true that most parents deeply love their children. Why this terrible contradition? The main reason is that few parents know how to transfer their heartfelt love to the hearts of their children. ... Of course, it is good to feel loved and to verbalize it, but this is not sufficient to make a child feel loved unconditionally. They respond to actions -what you do with them. So to reach them, you must love them on their terms, or behaviorally." (pg.25)
- "Your children will sense how you feel about them by how you behave toward them. .. Children need all five languages of love to keep their emotional tanks full." (pg.26)
- "If your child is under age five, don't expect to figure out his primary love language. You can't. .. Just speak all five languages." (pg.27)
LEARNING AND THE LOVE LANGUAGES - Chapter 9
- "Children are more emotional 4than cognitive; they remember feelings more readily than they do facts. .. never criticize or humiliate .. When you respect your child, she will respect you and your viewpoint. .. For a child to be able 'to learn well at any age leve, he must be at the emotional maturational leve of that particular age level.' .. the most important .. emotional maturity" (pg.139)
- "emotional development can make a tremendous difference in the child's learning readiness and process, and this is where4 parents can help the most. We can prime our child's learning pump by continually filling his emotional tank." (pg.140)
- "Such antiauthority attitudes and behaviors are caused by two things: empty emotional love tanks and a lack of training in how to handle anger in a mature way. .. The most troubling behavioral problem that affects learning is passive-aggressive behavior." (pg.142)
- "If your last encounter in the morning and your first encounter in the evening is to speak the primary love language of your chilren, you will be performing one of your most meaningful deeds of the day. And, this just may have a positive impact on their motivation for learning." (pg.149)
ANGER AND LOVE - Chapter 10
- "At the root of most problems in society is mishandled anger" (pg.151)
- "As an emotion, anger is not always expressed for righteous reason. It often becomes irrational and we do not control it; it controls us. ... Anger is a little understood emotion - why we feel i4t, how we express it, and how we can change the way we deal with our frustrations. Unless we as parents know what anger is and how we can handle it in appropriate ways, we will not be able to teach our children what to do when they feel angry. Yes, 'when', for we all - parents and children - get angry every day. ... if your child learns to handle anger well, he will have a great advantage in life. Most of life's problems will be averted and your child will be more able to use anger to his advantage, rather than to have it work against him. ... Few adults have mastered appropriate ways to handle anger. One reason is that most anger is expressed subconsciously .. another .. few adults have made the transition from immature to mature means of dealing with anger." (pg.152)
- "Parents who have not learned to control their own anger are not likely to train their children how to do it." (pg.154)
- "A child's immature handling of anger is a primary reason the child will reject the parent's spiritual values." (pg.155)
- "passive-aggressive behavior .. is a subconscious determination to do exactly opposite of what an authority figure wants." (pg.156)
- "all anger must come out either verbally or behaviorally. ... practice the basic parental parameters: be pleasant but firm." (pg.162)
- "Always remain pleasant but firm. .. Let him know that you are not going to condemn him. .. Commend your child for the things she did right. .. Help your child take a step up the Anger Ladder." (pg.163)
- "give your child a request rather than a prohibition. .. your training plus your good example of handling anger in a mature fashion, will help your child .. love is looking out for another person's interests and seeking to meet her needs." (pg.164)
- "Processing anger and then training your children to deal with it in a mature way is one of the hardest parts of parenting." (pg.165)
OPPORTUNITIES - Epilogue
- "speaking your child's love language won't end all problems" (pg.193)
- "I (Gary) dream of a day when all children can grow up in homes filled with love and security, where the developing energies can be channeled to learning and serving rather than craving and searching 4for 4the love they did not receive at home." (pg.195)
CONCLUSION:
If you are a new parent (like myself) or one with grown kids this book will be a fountain of inspiration and resource on how to better show your love to your kids and even on how to use love effectively as a tool towards discipline, learning, and even dealing with anger and passive-aggressive behavior.
(¤Thank you for reading this review and your votes - either way!¤)
Summary of The Five Love Languages of Children
Does your child speak a different language? Sometimes they wager for your attention, and other times they ignore you completely. Sometimes they are filled with gratitude and affection, and other times they seem totally indifferent. Attitude. Behavior. Development. Everything depends on the love relationship between you and your child. When children feel loved, they do their best. But how can you make sure your child feels loved?
Since 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman's best-selling book The Five Love Languages has helped more than 300,000 couples develop stronger, more fulfilling relationships by teaching them to speak each others love language. Each child, too, expresses and receives love through one of five different communication styles. And your love language may be totally different from that of your child. While you are doing all you can to show your child love, he may be hearing it as something completely opposite.
Discover your child's primary language and learn what you can do to effectively convey unconditional feelings of respect, affection, and commitment that will resonate in your child's emotions and behavior.
Since 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman's best-selling book The Five Love Languages has helped more than 300,000 couples develop stronger, more fulfilling relationships by teaching them to speak each others love language. Each child, too, expresses and receives love through one of five different communication styles. And your love language may be totally different from that of your child. While you are doing all you can to show your child love, he may be hearing it as something completely opposite.
Discover your child's primary language and learn what you can do to effectively convey unconditional feelings of respect, affection, and commitment that will resonate in your child's emotions and behavior.
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