The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams
by Debbie Ford
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Book Summary Information
Author: Debbie FordEdition: Mass Market Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 1999-06-01
ISBN: 1402828918
Number of pages: 208
Publisher: Riverhead Trade
Book Reviews of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams
Book Review: I'm not that...
Summary: 5 Stars
To be honest, I had a hard time reading this book... AT FIRST.
I'm not a mean mommy.
When I read again pages 28-29:
"Then one day while I was riding on the train everything changed. A woman in my car was yelling at her child. I was busy telling myself I would never treat my child that way and how awful this woman was for scolding her child in public. When a little voice in my head said, ' if your child had just spilled chocolate milk all over your white silk suit you would throw a flying fit.' Suddenly the pieces of the puzzle fell together. Of course I had the ability to get angry at a child. I didn't want to admit that to myself, so when I saw someone else fly into a rage, I was judgmental instead of empathetic. This took the focus off me. I realized that it was the quality demonstrated by each person that was within me, not the person herself. I am not the angry woman on the train, but I do possess the impatience and intolerance that she revealed at that moment.
What I discovered was my potential to act like the people I had been most harshly judging. It became clear that I had to be on the lookout for the traits that most bothered me in others."
After reading those words with new eyes, I got it! I had been working so hard at being a nice mom (because I couldn't be a MEAN MOMMY) that my kids were running the house. Once I saw at times being mean was actually a GIFT. An example was making my kids go to bed on time so they got sufficient sleep. They called me mean at the time, but what they didn't realize was that they were happy children the next day! Embracing mean mommy allowed me to make tough choices, some even to keep my children safe.
This book really opened my eyes to what I was hiding from myself and others. What drain of energy! Once I embrace the whole, my life became a lot easier. Thank you Debbie!
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Summary of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams
Debbie Ford believes that we each hold within us a trace of every human characteristic that exists, the capacity for every human emotion. We are born with the ability to express this entire spectrum of characteristics. But, Ford points out, our families and our society send us strong messages about which ones are good and bad. So when certain impulses arise, we deny them instead of confronting them, giving them a healthy voice, then letting them go. It is to these feelings that Ford turns our attention, these parts of our selves that don't fit the personae we have created for the rest of the world. She shows us the effects of living in the dark, of keeping all our supposedly unsavory impulses under wraps. We find ourselves disproportionately frustrated and angry at the selfishness of friends, the laziness of colleagues, the arrogance of siblings. When we are unable to reconcile similar impulses in ourselves, Ford explains, we waste our own energy judging others instead of empathizing. But most important, we deny ourselves the power and freedom of living authentically. Through the stories and exercises in The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford shows us not only how to recognize our hidden emotions, but also how to find the gifts they offer us. The very impulses we most fear may be the key to what is lacking in our lives.We know the shadow by many names: alter ego, lower self, the dark twin, repressed self, id. Carl Jung once said that the shadow "is the person you would rather not be." But even if you choose to hide your dark side, it will still cast a shadow, according to author Debbie Ford. Rather than reject the seemingly undesirable parts of ourselves, Ford offers advice on how to confront our shadows. Only by owning every aspect of yourself can you achieve harmony and "let your own light shine," she explains. "The purpose of doing shadow work, is to become whole. To end our suffering. To stop hiding ourselves from ourselves. Once we do this we can stop hiding ourselves from the rest of the world."
As threatening as shadow work may seem, it is often very effective in creating transformation. Ford's step-by-step guidebook is modeled on a highly successful course she developed about embracing the shadow. Ultimately, she helps readers illuminate the gifts and strengths that lie within the shadows. Although this works sound vague, clouded in dark metaphors, Ford manages to make it clear and specific. She has the writing gifts of a successful seminar leader--inspirational, trustworthy, and able to convey murky material with grace and ease. --Gail Hudson
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