The DNA of Relationships (Smalley Franchise Products)
by Gary Smalley, Greg Smalley, Michael Smalley, Robert S. Paul
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Book Summary Information
Author: Gary Smalley, Greg Smalley, Michael Smalley, Robert S. PaulEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2007-09-01
ISBN: 0842355324
Number of pages: 232
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Book Reviews of The DNA of Relationships (Smalley Franchise Products)
Book Review: 90% success rate in saving marriages
Summary: 5 Stars
This is a very significant ah hah moment in my life. At 49 years old I still live with a significant low self-esteem. I am ready for a change so I am now stimulating that change through the help of books and networking with others.This is what I read yesterday in THE RELATIONSHIPS OF DNA by Gary Smalley:
All relationships involve choice. When people treat you badly, you can choose to be trustworthy in a couple of ways. You may need to build a wall and shut the person out, at least for a time. That can be very appropriate. Some people have no clue and are not likely to get a clue anytime soon. Therefore you can treat them cordially, but you don't need to give them access to the most vulnerable part of you. They can shout over the wall, but that's it. The problem with this tactic, of course, is that it hinders a deep relationship. It makes connection impossible. You simply can't hug someone standing on the other side of the wall.
The other alternative is more like drawing a line in the sand. You say, " Hey, I'm safeguarding that part of me because I can't trust you with it right now. But I want you to know that I want this relationship with you. Therefore, I will give you repeated opportunities to try again. But, I need you to know that next time I let you in, and every single time thereafter, I'll be requiring the same thing: that you show me through word and deed, that you understand how valuable and vulnerable I am and that you act accordingly. To the degree that you do this, let's be friends. But when you forget, I need you to know that I will protect myself."
Your ability to feel safe in a relationship depends more on the second part of trustworthiness than on the first. If I can't trust myself to remember how valuable and vulnerable I am, then my whole well-being depends on other people's remembering. To the degree that they remember, I'm safe; but to the degree that they forget, I'm not. In the case , I'm helpless and have no say.
Summary of The DNA of Relationships (Smalley Franchise Products)
?Life is relationships; the rest is just details.? We are designed for relationships, yet they often bring us pain. In this paradigm-shifting book, Dr. Gary Smalley unravels the DNA of relationships: We are made for three great relationships?with God, others, and ourselves?and all relationships involve choice. Gary exposes a destructive relationship dance that characterizes nearly every relationship conflict, and he offers five new dance steps that will revolutionize relationships. The DNA of Relationships, the cornerstone book in Gary Smalley's relationship campaign, will help you learn to take personal responsibility, create a safe environment, keep their battery charged, listen with the heart, and adopt a no-losers policy. It will revolutionize your marriage, family, friendships, and work relationships!Christian Living Books
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