The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life
by Les Carter
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Book Summary Information
Author: Les CarterEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2004-09-02
ISBN: 0787968803
Number of pages: 224
Publisher: Jossey-Bass
Book Reviews of The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life
Book Review: If you struggle with anger, this book has answers
Summary: 4 Stars
I thought the Anger Trap was very insightful and as I read through it I recognized my typical anger-generating habits of thinking. I also learned ways to retrain my thinking - slowly but surely - in order the respond to things less emotionally. I also learned that when I am "angry" I am probably really something else - disappointed, afraid, frustrated, feeling rejected or dismissed. When I start to get mad now I pause and ask myself, "what is really going on here?" and that alone has enabled me to explore other sides to my personality that I have tried to ignore for the last 30 yrs. I can get through situations that used to make me blow my top as a sane, calm person now. It helps to dialogue with myself (silently, of course, lest they get the net!) by using techniques from the book.
My only beef with the premise (it's always something...) is that the author goes with the idea that anger comes from past problems. Grow up with a dad who yells or hits and you'll yell or hit. However, there are many studies that show that a violent home does not necessarily beget a violent child, a calm home does not beget a calm child. Just as anxiety can run in families or depression, might not problems such as overreaction to stimulus? If the dad is a yeller, perhaps it is his genes that pass on the anger and not his yelling. Otherwise, why don't all people from certain types of parents exhibit the behavior? I bring this up, because it is easier to face the problem sometimes when there is no one to blame (except perhaps God, if you lean that way). Rather than bemoan the mess a parent has made of one, it might be better to treat it as a limp that runs in the family but was not bequeathed with any malice. You have the limp, now figure out how to walk with it. You have the temper, now figure out how to respond to life as a decent human being with it.
Summary of The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life
It's easy to identify rage in people who lose their temper at traffic jams, unruly children, unresponsive coworkers, and unrealistic bosses. But we may not recognize more subtle manifestations of anger, such as being uncomfortable with loose ends, acting impatiently, or being overly critical. That is anger, too. And, as is so often the case, angry folks don't seem to realize that the behavior causing them problems at home or at work actually stems from unrecognized and unresolved pain and emotional injuries from the past. Is all this negative emotion inevitable, or are there choices about how to respond, choices that can improve personal relationships as well as emotional health?The Anger Trap is a landmark book that strips away the myths and misconceptions about anger and reveals how you can learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy anger so that you may choose- or help someone else to choose- a better, more spiritually enlightened path. The Anger Trap examines the root causes of anger and can help you realize your patterns and break the destructive cycles of criticism, frustration, and irritation that hurt you and others around you. Drawing insight from timeless spiritual wisdom as well as cutting-edge research, Dr. Carter offers practical techniques to free you from anger, its hidden insecurities, fears, and selfishness and thereby improve the quality of your home and workplace life. The book clearly illustrates how the change process works and The Anger Trap is filled with real-life examples of the ways people have come to terms with their anger by applying the concepts Dr. Carter outlines.
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