Tales of a Female Nomad: Living at Large in the World
by Rita Golden Gelman
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Book Summary Information
Author: Rita Golden GelmanEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2002-05-28
ISBN: 0609809547
Number of pages: 320
Publisher: Broadway
Book Reviews of Tales of a Female Nomad: Living at Large in the World
Book Review: dismayed by the bad reviews
Summary: 5 Stars
I LOVED this book! Having traveled to some developing countries myself I can appreciate that she does "live like a local" vs. typical tourism. Some people say in their reviews that she doesn't live like a local. Well, she lives with them in their homes (often for long periods), eats and cooks with them, learns their language, plays with their children, dresses in their garb and so on...it doesn't get much better than that unless you move some place permanently.
I'm also surprised that some people characterize the author as a "user" and view her so negatively. She is an outgoing and open person so people offer her kindnesses - nothing wrong with that. I don't think people "rescue her" because they feel obligated but because they are also interested in getting to know someone from another culture and she treats people entirely differently than most tourists do (just meaning that sites and sights are usually the draw more than getting in depth with people). She does reciprocate in the ways that she can (teaching English - which is incredibly valuable in places that depend on tourist dollars) and that are culturally appropriate (in some cultures - Bali - a gift guarantees a reciprocal gift so it may be better not to give tangible things and create an obligation). People seem to enjoy her company and that comes across to the reader because of the way she is treated by others, not because she is bragging about herself.
A couple of times I did wish that she did more to intervene in lives (particularly when a woman who is beaten by her husband seems almost to be asking for help by saying that she would leave if only she had someplace to go with her children). However, I don't judge her harshly for this as she does have a Master's degree in anthropology and that is what they are taught - non interference. She makes the kind of contributions that an individual making $15,000 per year can. She provides rental income or much needed protein for example. When the currency in Bali tanks, she goes back to make sure her friends can eat and helps them to repair their homes.
I just don't see the author the way some do. I can't help feeling that it is partly projection and partly envy - not just about opportunities and luck. Unfortunately some women don't see themselves as deserving and therefore wouldn't feel comfortable seeking or accepting some of the things the author does. For someone else to live that way they must be really high on themselves, they think.
So, that said, I'd like to offer some counterpoint on things others have written about:
The part about the daughter working with celebrities barely registered with me - she didn't make a big deal about it. Besides it's natural for parents to be proud and brag about their children isn't it?
As far as the Thai pronunciation of Rs, it's a reality no? It's not like she's making fun or ridiculing, she's explaining her own confusion and miscomprehension. She isn't afraid to sound silly trying other languages and doesn't begrudge those who are amused by her.
That particular German tourist did sound like a jerk. I don't think she made a snap judgment. But had he been lovely, he still could have gotten seriously injured so I agree that she was a little harsh about the whole affair (losing 3 days on the tour etc.) However, its human nature and this is a personal account. I think it's brave to admit such feelings whether they are justified or not.
I don't think she was proud at all to trek in the mountains out of shape - she was frustrated with herself actually. There was a porter for each person so I don't think any of the travelers could have felt compelled to lag behind with her. The person who did was a phys ed teacher or something and seemed to enjoy helping and motivating others - some people find that fulfilling rather than an obligation. I know I wouldn't have stayed behind with someone unless I wanted to.
I also didn't feel that she implied that married lives are boring or that others are envious of her - that seems like a projection to me. She does suggest that when she meets other long term adventurers they are often women - that's it. It was more yay for women than anything else.
I don't think she expected the Camp Leaky scientist to treat her like a best friend at all and she was fairly patient with being treated like crap (stay at x hotel until I send for you and so on).
Some of the complaints about the writing style sound as though the readers viewed it as a work of fiction rather than a memoir. The shedding of skin might be a rather obvious metaphor were it fiction but apparently it's an account of what happened (I think it's rather amazing when your physical self is coincidentally representative of your mind set.)
Lastly, I want to give my interpretation of the mother's death. The author thought that her mother might be ready to pass but hanging on because she was there (particularly because she had been abroad so much). I see that as a likelihood, not an egotistical claim.
Summary of Tales of a Female Nomad: Living at Large in the World
?I move throughout the world without a plan, guided by instinct, connecting through trust, and constantly watching for serendipitous opportunities.? ?From the PrefaceTales of a Female Nomad is the story of Rita Golden Gelman, an ordinary woman who is living an extraordinary existence. At the age of forty-eight, on the verge of a divorce, Rita left an elegant life in L.A. to follow her dream of connecting with people in cultures all over the world. In 1986 she sold her possessions and became a nomad, living in a Zapotec village in Mexico, sleeping with sea lions on the Galapagos Islands, and residing everywhere from thatched huts to regal palaces. She has observed orangutans in the rain forest of Borneo, visited trance healers and dens of black magic, and cooked with women on fires all over the world. Rita?s example encourages us all to dust off our dreams and rediscover the joy, the exuberance, and the hidden spirit that so many of us bury when we become adults.
When Rita Golden Gelman traveled to Mexico during a two-month separation from her husband, she hoped to satisfy an old craving for adventure and, in the process, rejuvenate herself and her marriage. Little did she know it was the beginning of a new life, not just as a divorcée, but as a nomad of the world. Since 1986, Gelman has had no permanent address and no possessions except those she can carry. She travels without a plan, guided by instinct, serendipitous opportunities, and a remarkable ability to connect with people. At first her family and friends accused her of running away, but Gelman knew she had embarked on a journey of self-discovery and a way of life that is inspiring and enviable.
We know Gelman is not your typical middle-aged housewife from LA when, on that first trip to Mexico, she randomly picks a Zapotec village and decides to live there for a month, knowing nothing about the culture or the language. When she arrives, the villagers run away from her, terrified. By the time she leaves, there are hugs and tears. From there she travels to Guatemala and Nicaragua, Israel and the Galapagos Islands. But the heart of the book--and her 15-year journey--is Indonesia, where she lives for eight years. It is Bali that forever changes how she looks at the world, facilitated by her friendship with an aging prince. Tu Aji not only invites her to live with his family but decides that the education of Rita will be his final duty in life. Wherever she goes, Gelman has an uncanny ability to slip into other ways of life and become part of a community. And she is a person for whom doors open widely--her seatmate on the plane to Bali scrawls the prince's name on a piece of paper, she talks her way into a sojourn at Camp Leakey in Borneo where orangutans are studied, and an entire village in a remote part of Irian Jaya prays for the clouds to clear so her plane can land--and they do! Gelmen's secret is her passion for people. That being the case, the book is short on descriptions of place, but long on the rarer inside view of the peoples and customs of those places. This in itself is treat enough, but Gelman's animated and intimate story comes with a kicker--it's never too late to fulfill those dreams. --Lesley Reed
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