Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know
by Meg Meeker
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Book Summary Information
Author: Meg MeekerBrand: N/A
Edition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2007-08-28
ISBN: 0345499395
Number of pages: 288
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Product features:
- ISBN13: 9780345499394
- Condition: New
- Notes: BRAND NEW FROM PUBLISHER! 100% Satisfaction Guarantee. Tracking provided on most orders. Buy with Confidence! Millions of books sold!
Book Reviews of Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know
Book Review: Fathers & Daughters
Summary: 5 Stars
Meg Meeker's Epidemic: How Teen Sex is Killing Our Kids is a book I recommend to everyone concerned with adolescent sexuality. She has recently published Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know (Washington: Regnery Publishing, Inc., c. 2006) to emphasize the irreplaceable role of fathers in rearing healthy daughters. Whereas Epidemic was richly documented and sought to describe alarming developments in the nation, this book is generally anecdotal and filled with the common sense of a practicing physician, wife (married to a physician with whom she shares a medical practice), and mother of four children. The bibliography duly refers us to serious scholarly resources, but the text itself targets a popular audience.
A medical doctor, Meeker credits her father (also a MD) with instilling in her the confidence she has needed to succeed in life. He "was an eccentric man, quiet, antisocial and extremely smart" (p. 3). He said very little, yet his daughter always knew he loved her. "My dad protected me fiercely, to the point where I was almost too embarrassed to date anyone. He was a hunter and he let my boyfriends know that" (p. 3). It was easier to talk with her mother, but she knew she'd call on her dad, who was "tough" and "serious," if ever her "life or health" were endangered. He was thoroughly, unapologetically, masculine.
In retrospect, ever more deeply impressed by her father, Meeker says: "When we think of masculine men, we (women at least) envision those with one overriding quality: a spine of steel. Nothing makes a woman's heart melt like a man with courage and resolve" (p. 132). "True masculinity is the moral exercise of authority. And your little girl needs it" (p. 47). Troubled girls rarely have "authoritative" fathers; their dads are almost always absent or indifferent. Even when she "pushes hard against your rules, flailing, crying that you are mean or unfair, she is really asking you a question: Am I worth the fight, Dad? Are you strong enough to handle me? Make sure she knows the answer is yes" (p. 32).
All daughters need what Meeker's dad provided. Men, she insists, "are natural leaders, and your family looks to you for qualities that only fathers have. You were made a man for a reason, and your daughter is looking to you for guidance that she cannot get from her mother" (p. 4). She has written this book to summon men to stand up and assume the role required of them if their daughters are to flourish. "Men, good men," she says: "We need you. We--mothers, daughters, and sisters--need your help to raise healthy young women. We need every ounce of masculine courage and wit you own, because fathers, more than anyone else, set the course for a daughter's life" (p. 7). In her medical practice, she has talked with hundreds of girls. She has watched them react to their fathers' presence. And she firmly believes that dads really matter.
They matter because every girl wants a hero. And she wants, above all else, for that hero to be her dad. She wants someone who will protect her. Indeed, Meeker devotes an entire chapter to this theme: "Protect Her, Defend Her (and use a shotgun if necessary)." She wants someone who will enforce rules that protect her--especially from the sexual predators (both in person and the media) that prowl about everywhere. Knowing the ravages resulting from teenage promiscuity--STDs, depression, suicide--dads must resolutely stand guard over their daughters' sexual behavior. "Of the fifteen to eighteen million new cases of STDs that occur every year, two-thirds occur in kids under the age of twenty-five" (p. 101). This need not be! Strong fathers could prevent lots of it! For the truth is: "If you don't want your daughter to be sexually active in high school, you need to tell her, you need to teach her. Otherwise, she will be. Popular culture trains our daughters for a life of promiscuity" (p. 121).
Dads are also important because they're their daughters' first love. Girls easily identify with their mothers, for they have much in common. But men are a mysterious and alluring other. So girls desire to know and love the opposite sex, and they rightfully long to establish ties with their fathers. Daughters need to know, continually, that they are loved. Words are important, but actions count for much more. Setting and enforcing curfews, spending time together (even when little is said), listening to her a mere 10 minutes a day, telling her you love her. Above all: stay married to her mother, even when it takes unusual grit and discomfort. "The most common cause of unhappiness and despair, what crushes the spirit of children more often than anything else, is divorce. Divorce is really the central problem that has created a generation of young adults who are at higher risk for chaotic relationships, sexually transmitted diseases, and confusion about life's purpose" (p. 144). And, ultimately, if you're a good dad, chances are your daughter will marry a man just like you. If you're truthful, she'll covet a truthful husband. If you're a man of integrity, she'll look for that quality in a man.
Importantly, dads must realize that they will, like it or not, "teach her who God is." In this book, unlike her early one, Meeker reveals her religious commitments. She insists that girls need God, and they need a dad who will "show her who He is, what he is like, and what he thinks about her" (p. 177). Irreligious parents reading this book, she says, need to disregard much the media says about religion and realize how deeply children need religious roots. All sorts of research demonstrate the healthy role religious faith plays in the lives of the young. Parents who ignore this endanger their kids far more than parents who smoke cigarettes in their cars and homes! "God is more important than dinner" (p. 182). "Kids are born with an inherent sense that life is more than what they see" (p. 181). They simply know that there is "an invisible, real, and wonderful" inner self, the "soul," that is of ultimate and eternal worth. Dads "are the first authority figure" in a girl's life. "If you are trustworthy, loving, and kind, your daughter will approach god more easily" (p. 190). Much more than boys, "girls tend to see more similarities between God and their parents" (p. 190). So dads need to read (C.S. Lewis, Lee Strobel, Thomas a Kempis, Pascal and Dostoevsky are recommended) and think and come to conclusions regarding God. Your daughters especially need to know where you stand--and where you are headed.
In a land plagued by "experts" who insist kids can be reared by same-sex couples, or by single parents, Meeker's book is a realistic reminder that both boys and girls (and girls especially) need dads who are committed to and involved in their daughters' development. As Armand M. Nicholi, Jr., M.D., professor of psychiatry at Harvard medical School, the author of The Question of God, says: "No one interested in what children experience growing up in our culture today and the impact that parents, especially fathers, have on that experience, can afford to miss reading this book."
More Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know reviews:
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Summary of Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know
In today?s increasingly complicated world, it?s often difficult for parents to connect with their daughters?and especially so for fathers. In this unique and invaluable guide, Dr. Meg Meeker, a pediatrician with more than twenty years? experience counseling girls, reveals that a young woman?s relationship with her father is far more important than we?ve ever realized. To become a strong, confident woman, a daughter needs her father?s attention, protection, courage, and wisdom. Dr. Meeker shares the ten secrets every father needs to know in order to strengthen or rebuild bonds with his daughter and shape her life?and his own?for the better. Inside you?ll discover:? the essential virtues of strong fathers?and how to develop them
? the cues daughters take from their dads on everything from self-respect to drugs, alcohol, and sex
? the truth about ground rules (girls do want them, despite their protests)
? the importance of becoming a hero to your daughter
? the biggest mistake a dad can make?and the ramifications
? the fact that girls actually depend on their dads? guidance into adulthood
? steps fathers can follow to help daughters avoid disastrous decisions and mistakes
? ways in which a father?s faith?or lack thereof?will influence his daughter
? essential communication strategies for different stages of a girl?s life
? true stories of ?prodigal daughters??and how their fathers helped to bring them back
Dads, you are far more powerful than you think?and if you follow Dr. Meeker?s advice, the rewards will be unmatched.
?Reassuring and challenging . . . a helpful road map for concerned fathers [that] tackles difficult issues.?
?National Review
?A touching, illuminating book that will prove valuable to all of us who are fortunate enough to have been blessed with daughters.?
?Michael Medved, nationally syndicated radio talk-show host, author of Right Turns
?Dr. Meeker?s conclusions are timely, relevant, and often deeply moving. No one interested in what girls experience growing up in our culture today?and the impact that parents, especially fathers, have on the experience?can afford to miss reading this book.?
?Armand M. Nicholi, Jr., M.D., professor of psychiatry, Harvard Medical School
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