Speaking of Boys: Answers to the Most-Asked Questions About Raising Sons
by Michael Thompson Ph.D., Teresa Barker
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Book Summary Information
Author: Michael Thompson Ph.D., Teresa BarkerEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2000-08
ISBN: 0345441486
Number of pages: 352
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Accessories:
- Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers
- Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer
Book Reviews of Speaking of Boys: Answers to the Most-Asked Questions About Raising Sons
Book Review: There is nothing wrong with my son
Summary: 5 Stars
After another unpleasant meeting with my 9 year-old's teacher, my husband and I began to feel thoroughly discouraged and worried. I decided to do some research, came across this book, and nearly wept with relief.
Our current school system is dominated by women who fail to understand the psychology of boys. Prior to having sons, I believed that boys were rambunctious and agressive due to socialization. Like most parents, I learned otherwise; boys are different - and this does not make them bad. I am tired of teachers saying the word "boys" while rolling their eyes, as if being a boy implies the existence of some inherent defect. It's insulting, unfair, and serves to seriously damage our sons' chances of doing well academically. Boys are in an educational crisis - and it's a manufactured one.
If you have a son who kicks over the neighbour's snowman, climbs on the roof of the school, falls off his chair in class, gets into fights on the playground, annoys his teachers, blurts things out, and is generally considered a "problem", chances are, he's absolutely normal. Our intolerance to the energy of boys has led to millions of male children being medicated. It's an outrage, and parents need to confront the school systems and their attempts to feminize the male population. They can't run, they can't jump, they can't be competitive. They're supposed to act like girls, all quiet and co-operative, and when they don't - out with the ritalin.
Here's something I learned: Our son has never been allowed a toy gun, and yet he draws them constantly, tries to find books on guns in the library, chews his toast into the shape of a pistol, etc. His teacher was concerned, and called us in for a meeting about it.
This is a child who does not play video games, watch violence on tv, and is encouraged to be kind and compassionate. But there he is, drawing pictures of gangsters with machine guns. This book explained that it's a pretty normal thing. Our son got in trouble at school and lied to us about it. Again, fairly typical.
Our son is easily distracted - why? Because of "co-operative learning" where kids' desks are all shoved together. This works for GIRLS, not boys! I requested an alternative seating arrangement.
If you're worried about your son, you must read this book. It has changed my life. By the way, I'm a highschool teacher - I look at my male students completely differently now. Boys are lovely - there was a time when we knew this. This books has made me fall inlove with my boys all over again.
Summary of Speaking of Boys: Answers to the Most-Asked Questions About Raising Sons
My eight-year-old son is the only boy in his class who doesn't have a Gameboy. I don't want him to be ostracized for not having one, but I worry that it's addictive. What do you think?Our two sons are eleven and fourteen, and they are fiercely competitive. The tension around our house is awful. How can we help them get along better?
We've worked very hard to keep our ten-year-old son in touch with his feelings. Sometimes it seems as if we've put him at a disadvantage, surrounded by tougher boys who can be pretty cruel with teasing. How can we help him protect himself when other boys start to tease?
With his bestselling book Raising Cain, Michael Thompson, Ph.D., at last broke the silence surrounding the emotional life of boys and spearheaded an important national debate. His warmth and humor quickly made him a popular and respected international speaker and consultant. Now he directs his authority, insight, and eloquence to answering your questions about raising a son. With candid questions and thoughtful, detailed responses, Speaking of Boys covers hot-button topics such as peer pressure, ADHD/ADD, and body image as well as traditional issues such as friendship, divorce, and college and career development. This perceptive, informative, and passionate book will leave you not only with useful, practical advice but also with the comforting knowledge that other parents share the same concerns you do when it comes to raising our boys into well-adjusted, responsible men.
Preeminent child psychologist, Michael Thompson is renowned for his efforts to educate and assist parents with sons. First with Raising Cain (his response to Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia ) and now with Speaking of Boys, Thompson encourages parents to help their sons develop the emotional intelligence necessary to succeed. The book seeks to answer parents' questions concerning the complexities of raising a boy in today's society. Every chapter introduces questions from parents on issues like puberty, underage drinking, and increased violence in schools, and in every instance the author responds with insightful and knowledgeable advice. Chapters entitled "Speaking of Social Anger and Aggression" and "Feelings and Communication--Is Our Sensitive Boy a Sitting Duck for Bullies?" are particularly in tune with the apprehension parents feel when sending their sensitive sons off for another grueling day at school.
The key to raising a healthy son, says Thompson, is to help your boy attain an emotional intelligence that will allow him to cope with difficult and threatening situations. To accomplish this, parents need to nurture compassion in their sons and try to avoid allowing them to become desensitized by the teasing and pressure of others. Respecting your son's need to appear strong at times and offering him a sense of safety when discussing emotionally revealing subjects are two ways Thompson encourages parents to nurture their son's emotional development. As anyone who is raising a boy knows, it's a job that is never quite finished, and with this book, Thompson offers parents an invaluable tool, regardless of their son's age. --Dal Asher
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