Sm 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
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Book Reviews of Sm 101: A Realistic Introduction
Book Review: An Excellent Introduction to SM
Summary: 5 Stars
This is a wonderful 'starter' book for those new to SM. I can not claim to know how a veteran player might feel about it, as I am still a novice in the realm of BDSM. I picked this book up, as well as Different Loving, initially for my boyfriend. We have a very open, communicative relationship and our trust level is very high, but he seemed to feel that my sexual preferences were, to say the least, disturbed. I was having a terrible time trying to convey to him that BDSM can be a very caring, loving, and almost spiritual experience between two individuals who truly care about each other's well being. This book has helped our communication and experimentation tremendously. The autor has a very straightforward aproach to an extremely taboo topic. I can not imagine the courage it took to make a leap of faith into the public press as he did. He stresses safety very strongly (which in my opinion is highly commendable), gives basic instruction on methods of delivering, and receiving forms of erotic pain, bondage and other aspects of BDSM. It is very much a 'how to' beginner's manual for people interested in exploring the realm of sexual dominance and submission. I highly recommend it to anyone who is thinking of exploring this realm of alternative sexuality, as well as for those who are already well established in their sexual preferences. I am sure that even those who think they know everything could find use for this book. Even if it is used as a means to help educate others who are unaware of what BDSM is actually about. I also reccomend Different Loving in addition to this book. Where SM 101 is a how to guide, Different Loving explores the mentality and psychology of those involved in BDSM relationships. They make wonderful companion books in exploring the total experience.Book Review: straight-forward discussion on how to be perverted
Summary: 5 Stars
Wiseman is a bit dry and academic, but don't let that turn you off to this really great beginner's manual.
This book is just fantastic for people who are new to BDSM (especially people who have unrealistic biases about "what we do"). I've been involved with BDSM since 2002, and I wish that I'd had this book back then -- so that I could let my vanilla friends read it to get a handle on the lifestyle. Wiseman explains the ins and outs with compassion and finesse, and his approach is refreshingly NOT gendered (unlike "Screw the Roses," which is decidedly male-top, female-bottom oriented).
There are no pictures, no "steamy" parts; it's all a very measured discussion of what goes on in power-exchange relationships. There are chapters on topping, bottoming, first sessions, whipping... the list goes on. Wiseman, a switch, offers advice and suggestions like a pro.
He even talks about common phenomena that seem to happen to all of us:
*top drop - that feeling that whipping somebody means you might be really messed up, even though both of you loved it at the time
*Monday morning rebound - where your play partner suddenly decides that he or she is not "into" it anymore, even though he or she had a great first session on Saturday night
*whipping flu - did you know that a heavy whipping can leave you with more than just bruises and a sore butt?
*And more!
If I were going to recommend a "first" book on BDSM, this would be it -- even over "Screw the Roses," "The New Topping/Bottoming Book(s)," and other recommended beginner's manuals for BDSM. These books are excellent reading, by the way, but Wiseman simply offers a wider and more professional approach to BDSM. If my mom found my floggers, I'd hand her this book.
Book Review: This is the book I wish I had read when I was a beginner
Summary: 5 Stars
SM 101 contains all the essential information that BDSM beginners desperately need, written in a way that newcomers can understand. Though the introductory chapter says it isn't intended for people who are already members of SM community, I would argue that this is an excellent guide even for people with years of experience. I have been a member of several BDSM organizations over seven years, and I found this book to be thought-provoking and helpful. This book has provided me with information and advice that is more honest (and more accurate, I think) than much of what I have gotten from years of workshops, lectures, and demonstrations.I think the primary advantage of this book over others on the subject is its depth. Its introduction to the basics of BDSM is particularly thorough. Personal anecdotes, both amusing and poignant, give real-life insight into what it's like to play with BDSM. It has a strong emphasis on safety without being pushy or patronizing. Most books just recite arbitrary rules. SM 101 gives information, suggestions, and advice designed to help readers make their own decisions about the risks they want to take.
One of my favorite parts of this book is a collection of off-handed remarks overheard at BDSM events. These quotes, scattered in margins of the pages, range from clever to hilarious to profound. Another nice touch is advice on finding partners, and a step-by-step guide to negotiating SM play. There are even negotiation forms that can be copied and used to make sure that all the points are covered. I strongly recommend the safety precautions this book suggests for playing with someone new.
All in all, SM 101 is a book I would highly recommend to anyone who is seriously considering exploring safe, sane and consensual BDSM.
Book Review: A fascinating read
Summary: 5 Stars
My wife has always expressed a very strong interest in this side of life, and though I have experience, what she wanted was beyond my normal range of experience. So I've done some extensive research and reading up on the subject over the last year. I must say, this book is by far the easiest to follow, understand, and enjoy of all I have read.
The author has a easy reading style and a good sense of humor, making fun of his mishaps as he himself was learning the lifestyle himself. This light and personal form the book takes makes it easier to understand and enjoy for the less or un experienced people out there.
There is extensive material on safety and finding a partner, two areas that will often cause beginners the largest problems. Following safety, the author provides a very well written chapter on the design and use of `scene contracts'. This is a very good idea to practice, since it allows both partners to know exactly what to expect and cuts down on unexpected shocks which can ruin a scene.
Another area that he provides a very good base of knowledge on is knots and rope bondage, which are two of his favorite activities and happen to be the area a lot people who get into the lifestyle come from. After all, who has not fantasized about being tied up and ravaged by our partner? If you have, then this book is worth buying just for those chapters.
Overall, I rate this book a must have for bdsm beginners or those people interested in tying up their partner. For more experienced people, the book most likely will provide a tidbits of knowledge, but is still worth buying. After all, it is always nice to be able to have an easy reading book to give to a partner new to the lifestyle.
Book Review: Intimate and personal tone adds softness to a harsh topic
Summary: 5 Stars
When I originally bought this book I was quite the vanilla girl but upon reading it I've experimented with several forms of bdsm and this book is an excellent start for any who are curious and beginners.
I wasn't sure what to expect from this book but I have been incredibly impressed with Mr. Wiseman's intimate style of writing and personal openess. What courage it must of taken. You read the first half of the book and feel as if he is guiding you through your journey of self enlightenment by sharing his own story of sucess and failures. He doesn't even try to convert you but tries to give you a better understanding of the practice and people involved. The second half of the book is basic instruction and supplies(bondage,flagellation, etc.) very informative and full of tips if you want to pursue this activity.
Of course, if you have read other reviews you know he is a safety boy and I think that's good. Girls like that. Also, his candor is so refreshing and very attractive.
Since reading this I might explore some aspects to SM; most people already do in a very light way by making specific demands or complying to demands in the bedroom but I will be as Jay suggests putting safety first and taking things slow.
I found this book very informative, in your face informative, and extremely forward in sex talk. So if your curious buy this book it's very good. You don't have to do anything you aren't ready for sometimes reading the ins and outs are fun and you can choose to indulge or just be well read in the subject.
Also, there are quotes throughout the book that are extremely funny and eye opening.