Setting Boundaries(TM) with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents
by Allison Bottke
List Price:
Our Price: $7.73
You Save: $5.26 (40%)
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Buy Used: from $7.20 (click here)
Category: Book
See more book details and other editions
Book Summary Information
Author: Allison BottkeEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2008-02-01
ISBN: 0736921354
Number of pages: 224
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Book Reviews of Setting Boundaries(TM) with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents
Book Review: ~ LIFE CHANGING ~
Summary: 5 Stars
One day I was sitting in my recliner, not having a pity party, but just evaluating my life. I have a son who is a successful doctor. Another owns his own plumbing company. Another is sought after in the field of computer programming.
I also have two grown children that I sometimes refer to as my "gifts- that just keep on giving". These 'kids' are 32 (my youngest son) and 36 years old (my husband's bipolar daughter who is also on street drugs). If ever the Lord has spoken to me (and I know He has)..it was this day. Thoughts were flowing. "I don't know what NORMAL is. I tried to envision what it would be like to have a family gathering where my functioning kids could interact with the two 'outsiders'. What would it be like to not cringe when the phone rings with the next drama, to plan a vacation for me and my husband where we could just go and have a GREAT TIME without worrying about which one of them were having a crisis! I went on to the realization that "I am all USED UP. There is no more. There is NO joy in my life. No smiles. No laughter. No fun. No hope". Just me, waiting for the next round. My functioning children don't even KNOW me anymore because I have been so consumed with the two that require my time, energy, money and support.
Keep in mind, this was NOT a depressing awakening. It was LIBERATING! But I realized I needed a support system because it wasnt going to be easy to keep from falling back into my routine of "fixing" everything for every one else. I started looking for reading material and am so thankful that I ran across this book. I empathized with the author about her son - she and I shared the same feelings and some of the same experiences. The entire book just clarified to me what I needed to do to REALLY help these children. It reinforced the fact that this is not a selfish thing I am doing- it is the MOST GIVING,MOST LOVING, MOST UN-SELFISH thing I can do for my grown children - to quit trying to protect my grown kids from themselves and their consistent poor choices. I had been giving them just enough leash to see them get close to the fire and then I'd step in and try to salvage their lives. That day, I unhooked the leash and my grown kids are free to go. They know I love them but I am not available for any more drama caused by their irrational behavior and their poor choices. I am starting to live a life where I actually laugh a lot, I smile a lot, I am a fun, kind, thoughtful, interesting person and I have a LOT to give.
This book gives you the reinforcement you need wherever you presently are on your road to 'recovery'. I can honestly say that I have never read a book on this subject that so captivates me - every single page has reinforcement or encouragement or useful suggestions or motivation on how to make life begin again for YOU and also for the grown child who is getting ready to find out that it is time for him/her to grow up and take responsibility for their own decisions. I'm smiling as I write this because I know I'll never go back to those days and I have great hope for my son and step-daughter. They are in the shock stage right now - we're watching for signs that they will catch the next wind and soar like eagles. If they don't soar the first time, we'll be happy with just a flapping of wings. But they're going back to their OWN nest this time.
GREATEST OF GREAT BOOKS FOR THE PARENT WHO IS AGONIZING OVER THEIR GROWN KIDS CHOICES!
More Setting Boundaries(TM) with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents reviews:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Summary of Setting Boundaries(TM) with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents
This important and compassionate new book from the creator of the successful God Allows U-Turns series will help parents and grandparents of the many adult children who continue to make life painful for their loved ones.
Writing from firsthand experience, Allison identifies the lies that kept her, and ultimately her son in bondage?and how she overcame them. Additional real life stories from other parents are woven through the text.
A tough?love book to help readers cope with dysfunctional adult children, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will empower families by offering hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y.?a six?step program to help parents regain control in their homes and in their lives.
- S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money
- A = Assemble a Support Group
- N = Nip Excuses in the Bud
- I = Implement Rules/Boundaries
- T = Trust Your Instincts
- Y = Yield Everything to God
Foreword by Carol Kent (When I Lay My Isaac Down)
Christian Living Books
Book Subjects
- Arts & Photography
- Biographies & Memoirs
- Business & Investing
- Children's Books
- Comics & Graphic Novels
- Computers & Internet
- Cooking, Food & Wine
- Entertainment
- Gay & Lesbian
- Health, Mind & Body
- History
- Home & Garden
- Horror
- Law
- Literature & Fiction
- Mystery & Thrillers
- Nonfiction
- Outdoors & Nature
- Parenting & Families
- Professional & Technical
- Reference
- Religion & Spirituality
- Romance
- Science
- Science Fiction & Fantasy
- Sports
- Teens
- Travel
Most talked about in Christian Living Books
A Survey of the Old Testamentby Andrew E. Hill, John H. Walton
Zondervan; Published: 2009-02-10; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $22.01
Price in other shops:
Steps to Christby Ellen Gould Harmon White
General Books LLC; Published: 2012-01-01; Paperback; Book
Best price: $14.14
The 1928 Book of Common PrayerOxford University Press, USA; Published: 1993-11-18; Leather Bound; Book
Price in other shops:
A People's History of Christianity: The Other Side of the Storyby Diana Butler Bass
HarperOne; Published: 2010-03-23; Paperback; Book
Best price: $7.50
Price in other shops:
Works of Loveby Soren Kierkegaard
Harper Perennial; Published: 1964-10-27; Paperback; Book
Best price: $6.98
Price in other shops:
America by Heart : Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flagby Sarah Palin
Harper Collins Publishers; Harper; Published: 2010-11-23; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $0.01
Price in other shops:
The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life In Godby Dallas Willard
HarperOne; Published: 1998-03-24; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $12.30
Price in other shops:
God for Us: The Trinity and Christian Lifeby Catherine Mowry Lacugna
Harpercollins College Div; Published: 1992-01; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $78.36
Ruthless Trustby Brennan Manning
HarperAudio; Published: 2004-01-06; Audio Cassette; Book
Best price: $3.11
Price in other shops:
The Screwtape Lettersby C. S. Lewis
Macmillan; Published: 1982; Paperback; Book
Similar Books and other products
Everything Changes: Help for Families of Newly Recovering Addictsby Beverly Conyers
Hazelden; Published: 2009-04-14; Paperback; Book
Best price: $8.65
Price in other shops:
The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generationby Melody Beattie
Simon & Schuster; Published: 2009-12-29; Paperback; Book
Best price: $7.13
Price in other shops:
Toughloveby Phyllis York, David York, Ted Wachtel
Bantam; Published: 1985-02-01; Mass Market Paperback; Book
Best price: $2.50
Price in other shops:
12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery: Avoiding Relapse through Self-Awareness and Right Actionby Allen Berger Ph.D.
Hazelden; Published: 2008-02-11; Paperback; Book
Best price: $8.56
Price in other shops:
Why Don't They Just Quit?by Joe Herzanek
Changing Lives Foundation; Published: 2010-01-01; Perfect Paperback; Book
Best price: $9.50
Price in other shops:
How to Really Love Your Adult Child: Building a Healthy Relationship in a Changing Worldby Gary D. Chapman, Ross Campbell MD
Northfield Publishing; Published: 2011-03-01; Paperback; Book
Best price: $5.99
Price in other shops:
Addict In The Family: Stories of Loss, Hope, and Recovery.by Beverly Conyers
Hazelden; Published: 2003-08-26; Paperback; Book
Best price: $7.99
Price in other shops:
Don't Let Your Kids Kill You: A Guide for Parents of Drug and Alcohol Addicted Childrenby Charles Rubin
New Century Publishers; Published: 2007-08-01; Paperback; Book
Best price: $10.54
Price in other shops:
The Enabler: When Helping Hurts the Ones You Loveby Angelyn Miller
Wheatmark; Published: 2001-10-01; Paperback; Book
Best price: $7.70
Price in other shops:
When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Livesby Jane Adams
Free Press; Published: 2004-05-25; Paperback; Book
Best price: $8.52
Price in other shops: