Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem
by Matthew McKay PhD, Patrick Fanning
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Book Summary Information
Author: Matthew McKay PhD, Patrick FanningEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2000-05-15
ISBN: 1572241985
Number of pages: 316
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Book Reviews of Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem
Book Review: A serious expression of wisdom and caring.
Summary: 5 Stars
I have been turning this book inside out for the past few months now. And I am still almost without words. There are parts of this book that are more heart-wrenching, touching and beautiful than any literature. There is a feeling of genuine tenderness and concern. There is no attempt here to sell you any cheap feel-good plan, or set you up to buy something else. This is really pretty deep stuff, but absolutely down-to-earth and straightforward. Look at page 98. He is talking about the fact that life contains many problems, and that we must not allow those problems to defeat us, must continue to try to get our needs met, even though often we will fail, be embarrassed and saddened, be denied. We must not be led to deny that we need and want those things because of how difficult it may be in getting them:
"This last point is key: you carry on. In the face of all the pain, past and to come, you continue to struggle. You plan, you cope, you decide. You continue to live and to feel. If you let this awareness soak in, if you let yourself really feel the struggle, you may begin to get a glimmer of your real worth. It is the force, the life energy that keeps you trying. The degree of success is irrelevant. How good you look, how psychologically or physically nourished you are, is irrelevant. The only thing that counts is the effort. And the source of your worth is the effort."
So many books deny that there are real serious problems in life, that there is pain and trouble, much of it ongoing. So many books deny that we will experience embarrassment and humiliation and pain of all kinds for our efforts. So many books even deny that time and imminent death are significant factors. So many books deny that we have different abilities and capabilities, different emotional makeups and educational backgrounds, which determine our available choices. This book, however, faces those facts head on. Interestingly, while being incredibly useful and uplifting, there is something almost somber about this book. The tone is serious, but kind. There is no joking or light-heartedness. There is, seemingly, genuine caring and wisdom.
But that is only one part, and it may not even be the most important part for you. The underpinning of the entire book seems to be about defeating what is called "The Pathological Critic." The notion of self-criticism as an addiction similar to and almost as destructive as alcohol seems to be an established part of modern therapy. The author here says clearly that no real change is possible until one restrains and defeats this internal critic.
It seems that the moment you say to someone "You must read this!" some sort of emotional or psychological barrier goes up in the other person, making him or her less inclined to read or enjoy the thing. I can only say that this is one of the best books I have EVER read. There are many writers who scream that they are going to solve all of your problems for you. We know that they never do or can. But there are others who write with the attitude of "I know what you're going through. Maybe I can help a little." James Hollis is one. (An amazing one!) And Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning are others.
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Summary of Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem
Since its first publication in 1987, Self-Esteem has become the first choice of therapists and savvy readers looking for a comprehensive, self-care approach to improving self-image, increasing personal power, and defining core values. More than 600,000 copies of this book have helped literally millions of readers feel better about themselves, achieve greater success, and enjoy their lives to the fullest.
You can do it, too!
By using these books as a set, you'll be able to customize your self-esteem work with exercises and writing projects that reinforce and support the ideas in the original book.
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