Poisoned Love
by Melanie Cane M.D.
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Book Summary Information
Author: Melanie Cane M.D.Edition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2009-01-26
ISBN: 193509811X
Number of pages: 408
Publisher: Bascom Hill Publishing Group
Book Reviews of Poisoned Love
Book Review: Amazing Story
Summary: 5 Stars
Poisoned Love by Melanie Cane is an amazing book. Not just because it is a thrilling and descriptive book about obsession, but because it is the first case study of its kind to explain the healing process. I write about crimes of the heart in my book, so this subject is not new to me. But what about afterwards? How to love addicts get help? What is the healing process? Melanie takes us here. In other words, this book picks up where Fatal Attraction leaves off.
Not only is this a sad tale of love addiction, it is educational for love addicts and anyone who wants to understand love addiction from a first-person perspective. In Poisoned Love the reader is not left wondering how the author could have done these things. The roots of love addiction are spelled out. The author explains why she is a love addict by expounding on her relationship with her father. She goes on to elaborate on the trap that many love addicts fall into--falling in love with a seductive withholder, who, like her father gives mixed signals. Melanie spells this out for us. From the book . . . "I still couldn't understand. If he'd said he didn't love me, perhaps I could have accepted a hopeless situation and walked away. The tremendous inconsistency between his professed feelings [I love you] and his aversion to being with me confused and infuriated me." This is what fueled Melanie's obsession and the anger behind it. This is what caused Melanie to poison her lover. I can't say ex-lover, because he never really went away. He haunted Melanie with professions of love coupled with agonizing neglect. This is what turns a normal love addict (if there is such a term) to one who goes to far.
Here is what is most important about this book. As we follow Melanie into treatment, we learn what is true of most loves addicts, that they suffer from some kind of underlying mental illness. Melanie exposes this and helps the reader understand that to get well, love addicts must go to the root of their problem by treating the underlying disorder. They must also treat other dual and subsidiary addictions like, alcoholism, anorexia, bulimia, overeating, drug addiction, compulsive shopping, gambling, sex addiction, etc. etc. In Melanie's case she had to treat her anorexia and borderline personality disorder--the two most common problems faced by love addicts.
Melanie points out that recovery is an inside job. You must go back to the scene of the crime (your childhood), sort it all out, and then grieve as best you can. Then you must rebuild your life with the aid of this new understanding. It is as if the love addict must become a caterpillar all over again and experience a new and glorious metamorphosis--this time with sunshine, fewer weeds, an excellent caretaker, and enough water to grow into a beautiful butterfly.
In conclusion, this book is more than an expose of the dangers of loving too much. It is a road map for recovery. Anyone who is fascinated by love addiction will find this book mesmerizing. Anyone who suffers from love addiction will see themselves in Melanie's experience. Some of them will say, "There but for the grace of God go I." Others will say, "I am not alone." All of them will say, "Thank you Melanie for writing this book."
Susan Peabody
Addiction to Love and The Art of Changing
[...]
Summary of Poisoned Love
In 1993, Jimmy Breslin wrote a front page story for New York Newsday about Melanie Cane, a troubled young psychiatrist who ''let love take her too far.'' Fifteen years later, Melanie tells her side of the story in Poisoned Love, a heartbreaking and staggering account of her spiral into the depths of mental illness and what she did under the guise of love.With extraordinary courage, Melanie provides intimate access to the thoughts and feelings leading to her desperate act, as well as an unvarnished account of her subsequent psychiatric treatment and the legal and social consequences of her crime.
Melanie's steady process toward recovery involves an emerging understanding of the relationship between her various diagnoses and her attachment to an abusive and mentally ill father.
Her story teaches people about survival and success in the face of severe mental illness.
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