Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go
by Susan Forward, Craig Buck
List Price:
Our Price: $8.97
You Save: $7.03 (44%)
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Buy Used: from $1.04 (click here)
Category: Book
See more book details and other editions
Book Summary Information
Author: Craig Buck, Susan ForwardEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2002-01-02
ISBN: 0553381423
Number of pages: 278
Publisher: Bantam
Book Reviews of Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go
Book Review: Great study of a little-known disorder
Summary: 5 Stars
I first picked up this book several years ago when I realized that I had some issues around being addicted to a person. I have found it very helpful because some of the stories themselves parallel my own issues, and also because it has helped me to recognize characteristics of the persons with whom I form such unhealthy attractions.
This very well written book explores the symptoms and results of being addicted to a person. Author Susan Forward's basic premise is that a person who tends to be relationally addicted will be drawn to somebody who, for various reasons, becomes for him or her their One Magic Person. Through this person, the addicted one relives certain negative childhood experiences, hoping to make them come out right this time.
In the majority of cases in the book, the addicted one eventually drives the other one away through their jealousy, possessiveness or what-have-you, and from that point the addict's focus switches to getting the other one back. This can take the form of unwanted visits, phone calls and gifts. In one of the sadder cases, the pursuer is reduced to sitting in a car outside the other one's house hoping for a glimpse of the beloved from time to time. Sometimes, the pursuer takes revenge against either the other one's property or, in a couple of very tragic cases, the other one's person.
The case histories in the book are partly told in the words of the addicted one, with comments by the author. There is a chapter devoted to the ones who are pursued, although even in this chapter, the focus goes back to the pursuers.
If it appears as though the pursuers are the always the bad guys, this is not the case. Sometimes the ones who are pursued are using the pursuers (who normally fall into a particular category that Forward calls "Saviors") and setting them up for a fall. These folks cannot be driven away until their web of lies and deceit are exposed.
Finally, there is a section on how to let go of the obsession. One of the strongest and most helpful parts of this section is the reminder that if the other party has cut off all contact, the relationship is over. Forward expresses her surprise at how many clients she sees who, even though they may not have heard from their ex-partner in months, still believe that they have a relationship with that person.
I highly recommend this book to anybody who has, or thinks they have, an addiction to a person. It's a great reminder that we are not alone in this illness and that help is available.
Summary of Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go
Is it impossible to let go ? despite the pain?? Do you yearn for someone who is not physically or emotionally available to you?
? Do you believe that if you love him enough he will have to love you?
? When you feel insecure, does it drive you only to want her more?
? Do you find yourself phoning repeatedly or waiting long hours for the phone to ring?
Do you wish someone would let go of you?
? Does an ex-lover or ex-spouse refuse to believe that it?s over?
? Do you receive unwanted phone calls, letters, presents, or visits?
? Is this pursuit of you creating so much anxiety that it affects your physical or emotional well-being?
In this invaluable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward presents vivid case histories as well as the real-life voices of men and women caught in the grip of obsessive passion.
Whether you?re an obsessive lover or the target of such an obsession, here is a proven, step-by-step program that shows you how to recognize the ?connection compulsion,? what causes it, and how to break its hold on your life so that you can go on to build healthy, lasting, and pain-free relationships.
Personal Transformation Books
Book Subjects
- Arts & Photography
- Biographies & Memoirs
- Business & Investing
- Children's Books
- Comics & Graphic Novels
- Computers & Internet
- Cooking, Food & Wine
- Entertainment
- Gay & Lesbian
- Health, Mind & Body
- History
- Home & Garden
- Horror
- Law
- Literature & Fiction
- Mystery & Thrillers
- Nonfiction
- Outdoors & Nature
- Parenting & Families
- Professional & Technical
- Reference
- Religion & Spirituality
- Romance
- Science
- Science Fiction & Fantasy
- Sports
- Teens
- Travel
Most talked about in Personal Transformation Books
Head Strongby Tony Buzan
Thorsons; Published: 2001-10-01; Paperback; Book
Leading Minds: An Anatomy of Leadership by Gardner, Howardby Howard Gardner
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd; Published: 1996-01-08; Hardcover; Book
I Am My Mother's Daughter: Making Peace with Mom--Before It's Too Lateby Iris Krasnow
Basic Books; Published: 2007-04-10; Paperback; Book
Best price: $0.53
Price in other shops:
A Guide for the Advanced Soul: A Book of Insightby Susan Hayward
Little, Brown and Company; Published: 1995-12-01; Paperback; Book
Best price: $2.42
Price in other shops:
Boundariesby Henry Cloud, John Townsend
Zondervan; Published: 2001-09-01; Audio Cassette; Book
Best price: $20.99
Price in other shops:
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Take Control of Your Lifeby Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend
Zondervan; Published: 1992-11-02; Audio Cassette; Book
Best price: $4.00
Price in other shops:
Safe People Workbookby Henry Cloud, John Townsend
Zondervan; Published: 1995-06-02; Paperback; Book
Best price: $6.37
Price in other shops:
A Three Dog Lifeby Abigail Thomas
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt; Published: 2006-09-05; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $1.29
Price in other shops:
Blink : The Power of Thinking Without Thinkingby Malcolm Gladwell
Penguin Books; Published: 2001-08-07; Paperback; Book
Best price: $6.72
Spiritual Divorce: Divorce As a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Lifeby Debbie Ford
HarperOne; Published: 2001-01-09; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $6.90
Price in other shops:
Similar Books and other products
How to Survive the Loss of a Loveby Peter McWilliams, Harold H. Bloomfield, Melba Colgrove
Mary Book / Prelude Pr; Published: 1993-10; Paperback; Book
Best price: $2.59
Price in other shops:
Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them : When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Whyby Susan Forward, Joan Torres
Bantam; Published: 2002-01-02; Paperback; Book
Best price: $8.83
Price in other shops:
How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days: A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Good-bye and Getting On With Your Lifeby Howard Bronson, Mike Riley
Three Rivers Press; Published: 2002-01-22; Paperback; Book
Best price: $7.49
Price in other shops:
Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationshipsby Susan Peabody
Celestial Arts; Published: 2005-03-01; Paperback; Book
Best price: $7.56
Price in other shops:
Don't Call That Man!: A Survival Guide to Letting Goby Rhonda Findling
Hyperion; Published: 1999-11-17; Paperback; Book
Best price: $3.99
Price in other shops:
How to Fall out of Love: How to Free Yourself of Love That Hurts--and Find the Love That Heals...by Debora Phillips
Grand Central Publishing; Published: 1985-11-01; Mass Market Paperback; Book
Best price: $3.16
Price in other shops:
Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Loveby Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, J. Keith Miller
HarperOne; Published: 1992-06-05; Paperback; Book
Best price: $2.64
Price in other shops:
Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Youby Susan J. Elliott JD MEd
Da Capo Lifelong Books; Published: 2009-05-05; Paperback; Book
Best price: $8.90
Price in other shops:
Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Changeby Robin Norwood
Gallery Books; Published: 2008-04-08; Paperback; Book
Best price: $8.50
Price in other shops:
How to Break Your Addiction to a Personby Howard Halpern
Bantam; Published: 2003-12-30; Paperback; Book
Best price: $8.87
Price in other shops: