Madness: A Bipolar Life

Madness: A Bipolar Life
by Marya Hornbacher

Madness: A Bipolar Life
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Book Summary Information

Author: Marya Hornbacher
Edition: Paperback
Format: Bargain Price
Published: 2009-04-01
ISBN: 1616803002
Number of pages: 320
Publisher: Mariner Books

Book Reviews of Madness: A Bipolar Life

Book Review: Yes, I HAVE Bipolar!
Summary: 5 Stars

Although it was painful and sometimes terrifying to read, it did speak to so much of what is in the mind of someone who is living the "Bipolar life" and I do suggest this book as one of MANY first person accounts of their own journey through this illness. Each one is different. I will leave much of my response to Mr. Joe Kraynak with his review titled "Brutally Honest". While I did not read all 84 reviews, I also agree with some of what was posted from those who did not like the book. Some make valid points and I agree to disagree with many others. To "The Voyeur" I will simply say that if you are reading these books for the thrill of looking through the windows into our lives and have found us to be lacking, may I suggest some other genre of reading. It is very important for potential readers to realize that this is a memoir and is written by someone who, I believe, is at the far end of the Bipolar spectrum. She is sharing her story. Her reality.

As my title indicates, I have Bipolar Disorder I w/hypo manic cycling. I have been struggling to find my "new normal" for 5 years now after years of an incorrect diagnosis. This illness washed over me like a Tsunami. I didn't see it coming and it left nothing but devastation in its wake. Nothing in my life was left untouched.

I would like to hop on my soap box for just a bit and share some thoughts about this illness I have named THE BEAST. I am not a Doctor. I'm just a regular person. My intention is to share some thoughts and will not offer any "what to do" or "what to take" information. It would be completely irresponsible to do so.

To all of those who are living with this. To the friends, family, neighbors and co-workers who want to learn more. To those in the medical community. To the curious and especially to those who reject most depictions and just can't/won't embrace the realities of mental illness.

We are not just having a bad day. We cannot just get over it. We are not lazy. For the ladies, we are not hormonal. We can't just suck it up. We are not contagious. We are not all homicidal maniacs. My favorite comment will always be "it's all in your head". At the risk of sounding juvenile...duh! We don't want your pity and we do not want to be ignored. This is the kind of stigma that keeps many of us silent or in denial.

The brain is one of the most amazing organs in the human body. Each one behaves differently and what we don't know about its inner workings far outweighs what we do know. Some things are part of our DNA while other behaviors are as a result of external influence. With us, it's a mixture of both. For me, external situations or events will almost always trigger my behavior to one side or the other.

Clinical depression, Bipolar, Schizophrenia and any other mood disorders are physical problems in the brain and should be treated as such. All are chronic conditions that have no cure. There is no magic pill and no magic wand that will miraculously make it all better. BUT THERE IS HOPE.

This illness does not discriminate. It doesn't care if you are rich or poor. Skinny or fat. Extremely intelligent or not very. Race and religion are irrelevant. It doesn't care how old you are or what gender you are.

Diagnosis is a tough call and often subjective. There is no blood test, x-ray, CT scan or MRI. I considered the opinions of many different Dr.'s within the Psychiatric profession before I accepted my diagnosis and took steps to get my "support team" assembled and my treatment plan organized so my journey to my "new normal" could begin. Treatment plans for one will not necessarily work for another. Treatment is not an exact science. It is essentially a crap shoot. BUT THERE IS HOPE.

The #1 for me was to learn as much as I could about my illness. I am thankful that I could do this during hypo manic periods. I read everything I could get my hands on, made phone calls, talked to people I ran into and spent countless hours online looking at every reputable Mood Disorders research and/or information group. Knowledge is power and it has helped me greatly in being able to participate almost completely in my journey towards a reasonable level of recovery.

#2 for me was to find a Psychiatrist and Cognitive therapist to add to my GP. The one major pre-requisite was they all had to have an open mind and a willing ear. I would tolerate no Dr's arrogance or lack of bedside manner. I was not the "little lady" who was going to just sit silently while being told they know best.

#3 I am a believer in "mind/body/spirit". I took a long look at my nutrition, exercise and spirituality and found that all were seriously lacking.

So as I write this, my treatment plan is in place. This includes some medication, cognitive therapy (very important)and I am working harder in every other area. Is everything working according to plan? Heck no. Still haven't found the right cocktail of meds that I know I can't be without. The therapy is going very slowly and the mind/body/spirit thing is also taking its sweet time. My frustrations are many. Am I a bit fearful? Sure. Am I sick and tired of being sick and tired? Absolutely. Some days I am in control. Other days it is THE BEAST. But I keep going because THERE IS HOPE.

Money is definitely an issue for most of us. So many of us don't have the financial resources to obtain the finest care imaginable. Mental Health services are underfunded and the ability to get help sometimes seems hopeless. BUT THERE IS HOPE.

There is help out there. You and/or someone that can assist you must move heaven and earth to get what you need. I swallowed a lot of pride and lost a good deal of my dignity while having to beg anyone who would listen to give me the help I so desperately needed.

You have undoubtedly seen yourself referred to "as" bipolar. I prefer to say I am someone who "has" bipolar. I refuse to back down from this illness and I refuse to have this illness define me as a person. That one word "has" is very powerful.

Never back down. Despite the fear, you must keep fighting to get well. The only other option is not an option at all.

Once you are open to it, allow yourself some self-deprecating humor. I personally find it therapeutic.

With love and hope,
"Abbie-normal"

"Courage is not the absence of fear, rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear - Ambrose Redmoon



Summary of Madness: A Bipolar Life

When Marya Hornbacher published her first book, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, she did not yet have the piece of shattering knowledge that would finally make sense of the chaos of her life. At age twenty-four, Hornbacher was diagnosed with Type I rapid-cycle bipolar, the most severe form of bipolar disorder.

In Madness, Hornbacher tells her new story. Through scenes of astonishing visceral and emotional power, she takes us inside her own desperate attempts to counteract violently careening mood swings by self-starvation, substance abuse, numbing sex, and self-mutilation. How Hornbacher fights her way up from a madness that all but destroys her, and what it is like to live in a difficult and sometimes beautiful life and marriage?where bipolar always beckons?is at the center of this brave and heart-stopping memoir.

Millions of people in America today are struggling with a variety of disorders that may disguise their bipolar disease. Marya Hornbacher's fiercely self-aware portrait revolutionizes our understanding of this all-too-common, all-too-misunderstood disorder.

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