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Love Smart: Find the One You Want--Fix the One You Got by Dr. Phil McGraw
Book Summary InformationAuthor: Dr. Phil McGraw Edition: Paperback Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published) Published: 2006-12-26 ISBN: 074329243X Number of pages: 304 Publisher: Free Press Accessories:
Book Reviews of Love Smart: Find the One You Want--Fix the One You GotBook Review: Love Smart Can Make You Smarter At Love... Summary: 5 Stars
I like Phil McGraws books because his psychological insights are straight to the point. This book is no different. I like how he gets to the root of the problems with women's need for a man when he says that many women seek marriage and love in a state of desperation. He says that the right way to approach any relationship is as if it's a game. Because finding love and romancing are all games and getting serious about them not only spoils the mood but also chase the man away. He says that a woman should keep in mind that she doesn't need a man to be happy. If you think that you do need a man to be happy then you are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself and are probably on your way to self-sabotage. So the first step to getting the relationship you want is to take a `brutal look at yourself'. Know what you want and what is holding you back and you are more likely to succeed.
Another very blunt insight of Phil's is that many women are looking for a fairytale like marriage. They walk around expecting their man to fulfill every little dream trait they can imagine. If a man doesn't carry each one of the women's projections she will often move on. Phil says that this is the wrong way to approach seeking a mate because no man will fulfill all your expectations. The best way to approach a relationship is to find a man who encompasses at least 80% of the qualities you seek in a man and have at least the potential to learn the rest and that is good enough. Relationships, like life, are about compromise. Rather than chasing the picture perfect image, take what's available within reason. Then build a relationship.
My favorite chapter in the book is probably number 6 called " Your Guy Q". Phil Mcgraw states that a woman should not expect her man to fit female logic. A man is a man. They are physically and socially designed to be different than women. To expect a man to behave like a woman and understand your every nuance is unrealistic and you will be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Then he provides insight into male psychology through the general misconceptions that women have about men. For example the idea that men are all about avoiding commitment (not necessarily), they grow up to be lie their fathers and compare all women to their mothers (yes, parents are important to understanding your man). Men also feel a need to be the leader in a relationship and will often think it is weak to acknowledge needs and will also feel a little insecure around strong willed women as they feel less needed.
He also provided outlines of other personality traits of guys including men to beware of ( such as sex fiends or accomplishment braggers who just want to use women), then goes into tips and techniques to meet men and have a good time. He also covers the kinds of questions to ask to get to know him, how to handle your own expectations and much more. This book is a must read for any woman who wants a long lasting and loving relationship.
Summary of Love Smart: Find the One You Want--Fix the One You GotIn Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got, bestselling author Dr. Phil tells people who are dissatisfied with their love lives to stop making excuses and start taking action. You deserve a committed relationship, and it is within your control to have the one you want. First, though, you need to determine what you want in a partner, plot your course, and get out there and create velocity in your pursuit of a loving connection. In this book you'll learn to: - Present the real you in the most flattering light. You have to stop being your own best kept secret.
- Peek behind the male curtain. Dr. Phil tells you things about men that they don't necessarily want you to know. How good is your Guy-Q?
- Master the right moves. Don't fade into the wallpaper; get noticed and get involved. If you are already coupled up then learn how to grow and nurture what you have built.
- Bag 'em, tag 'em and take 'em home. Learn how to negotiate the relationship you desire and then close the deal.
- Get out of your relationship rut. The daily grind, money problems, work, etc., can take their toll on your relationship. Dr. Phil shows you how to assess the state of your union and take your relationship to a deeper level.
There are no exceptions: There is somebody for everybody, and everybody deserves a relationship filled with love and excitement. Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got offers you the plan to find not just any relationship but the committed, loving, joy-filled relationship you've been waiting for. Contact Dr. Phil at www.drphil.com 13-digit ISBN is 9780743272094 Targeted primarily at single women looking for a clear formula that leads in the direction of marriage, Love Smart also aims to refresh current marriages that feel a bit lacking. Whether readers find it helpful will depend partially on their sense of humor?Dr. Phil titles one chapter "Bag 'em, Tag 'em and Take 'em Home", a pretty fair example of the rest of the jokes and the general attitude of the book's advice. Marriage is what it's about, and the dating game has specific rules that, once learned, any "player" can use to succeed. While not quite as strict as the infamous The Rules, this is a manual that treats marriage as a prize, winnable only by those who regard old-fashioned rules as the only possible set. An early exercise suggests that women make detailed lists of the qualities they're looking for in a mate; five broad categories cover everything from social skills to physical appearance. Once a clear picture is formed of the ideal partner, it all boils down to marketing. Dr. Phil discusses conversation skills such as developing "icebreaker" questions and even digs up some of the old-school techniques that suggest checking headlines just to offer up-to-date topics, and making sure to ask questions about your date, rather than revealing much about yourself. Suggestions for internet dating are included in a separate chapter, and later chapters go into specific questions that cover personal background and relationship history in great detail. The combination of new school humor with old-fashioned advice will appeal to women who are looking for both a plan for partnership and goofy jokes to lighten the pressure. Dr. Phil offers both in spades. Jill Lightner
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