How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words
by Patricia Love, Steven Stosny

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words
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Book Summary Information

Author: Patricia Love, Steven Stosny
Edition: Hardcover
Audio: English (Original Language); English (Unknown); English (Published)
Published: 2007-01-16
ISBN: 0767923170
Number of pages: 240
Publisher: Broadway

Book Reviews of How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words

Book Review: Not Just For Married Folk
Summary: 4 Stars

Patricia Love Ed.D and Steven Stosny Ph.D, two reknown voices in the field of counseling, have put together a book of guidelines by which any committed couple might find comfort in learning. The book, contrary to its title, does not limit its value to married couples. The premise of the book suggests that it is through awareness and action (and sometimes inaction)that we can affect our relationships in the most meaningful way. It speaks of the differences in men and women in terms of how they process the same situation differently, and helps to empower each by offering coping mechanisms to avoid the conflicts that so often erupt when one doesn't understand the other. This is a book that places less emphasis on talking (which tends to shut men down) and more emphasis on staying connected in other significant ways (which tends to help women feel loved and valued). This is a book for anyone who wants to add to their arsenal of tools to help them navigate the ever present challenges of marriage/committed relationships. And it is important to note that one does not have to be in trouble or fighting all the time to benefit from this book--it is a great learning tool full of helpful strategies for achieving and maintaining healthy relationships, no matter the current state of the relationship.

Summary of How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words

Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love's and
Dr. Steven Stosny's How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness:

Love is not about better communication.
It's about connection.

You'll never get a closer relationship
with your man by talking to him like you
talk to one of your girlfriends.

Male emotions are like women's sexuality:
you can't be too direct too quickly.

There are four ways to connect with a man:touch, activity, sex, routines.

Men want closer marriages just as much as women do,but not if they has to act like a woman.

Talking makes women move closer;
it makes men move away.

The secret of the silent male is this:
his wife supplies the meaning in his life.

The stunning truth about love is that talking doesn't help.

Have you ever had this conversation with your spouse?

Wife: "Honey, we need to talk about us."
Husband: "Do we have to?"

Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied this all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn't bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart.

The reason for this is that underneath most couples' fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman's vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man's subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away in response. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can't happen through words.

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don't require "trying to turn a man into a woman." Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.

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