Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth
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Book Reviews of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Book Review: Great for Colic Survivors
Summary: 5 Stars
My 6 month old daughter has been nursing (and nursing and nursing) to fall asleep since she was born. With a lot of fussiness and colic, nursing was the only thing that would settle her down. She has reluctantly developed some sleep patterns - occasionally napping and usually sleeping through the night after being snuck into bed - but they are irregular at best. I bought Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child along with Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems and read both front to back. Both promote letting your child learn to fall asleep, but have different philosophies about how to get there. I liked Weissbluth because he talks about the overtired child, and recommends putting the child down to sleep before they crash. Ferber recommends keeping them up later to ensure the child is overtired (he says this makes them fall asleep faster). The bottom line for us is that Weissbluth worked and Ferber didn't. My daugther associates me with falling asleep, so Ferber's progressive "checking in" only agitated her more. I was reluctant to try Weissbluth's method of letting her cry it out, but she was asleep within 30 minutes (30 terrible minutes!). For her nap today, it only took 10, and she is having the best nap she's had in weeks.
This book is chock-full of information about sleep, sleep habits, sleep disturbances... probably more than anyone wants or needs to know! It also includes a lot of information from various sleep studies on infants and children. For me - sleep deprived as I am - it was difficult to sort through all the information and get to what I really needed. I like how the book is broken up into age groups, and has spcial sections and comments for colicky and fussy babies. Weissbluth gives you his recommendations and also talks about how to modify the method if it isn't working for you. I found the writing to be very empathetic, and it made me feel (for the first time) that nursing my baby to sleep is a good thing. I was annoyed at the sheer number of parent success stories, until I found one that closely matched my situation. Reading that story hit a nerve and prompted me to try the method that night.
If you are looking for a sleep solution for your infant or small child, I would highly recommend adding this to your library (read a few and decide what's right for your family). Happy sleeping!
Book Review: It's working!
Summary: 5 Stars
I have time to write this review because my 6-1/2 month old is finally napping on her own! She's never been a daytime sleeper. She was colicky, which we managed, maybe too well as it turns out. We were told over and over that "some babies just don't need as much sleep". Ha! After calling the nurse help line again because baby seemed extra fussy and was now suddenly waking in the middle of the night crying, and being told -again- that she probably had an ear ache and we should come in for a check -again- even though these Dr visits had yet to produce evidence of an ear ache, I started searching online for another answer. I discovered several message boards that mentioned this book, good and bad. I wasn't sure how I felt about the "let cry" debate, but I decided Dr. Weissbluth's evidence and arguments seemed sound, so I ordered the book.
We've only been following the plan for a few days, and I'm not going to say it's been easy, but even after the first 24-hr period I couldn't believe the change in my baby daughter's disposition. It turns out that she isn't a naturally fussy baby and I'm not a bad mom - she (and I, consequently) were just ridiculously over-tired!
As a mother, one of the hardest things I've ever done was to just let her cry when I put her down to sleep for naps and at bedtime, but we are both far too tired and stressed to be consistent with any other way of doing things. Even with the best of intentions, at 2 a.m., after weeks of not sleeping well, who can remember whether it's 10 minutes before I go to her this time or 15? I whole-heartedly believe that had we not "gone cold turkey" and let her cry a little bit - while it hasn't felt like it, it has only been a little bit of crying - this would have dragged on for months, if not years. And that's not fair to my beautiful beloved baby, to hinder her development like that.
Now, when my daughter is awake, she's happy and engaged, no longer crying the minute I leave the room for a second to go to the bathroom or grab the phone. She's cooing and babbling a lot more, too. We're still working on the "going to sleep on her own" bit, but the amount of crying each time has diminished significantly and sometimes has gone away completely.
Thank you, Dr. Weissbluth, for your research and teachings. I'm a believer!
Book Review: Everything you need to know about sleep
Summary: 5 Stars
I can't recommend this book highly enough. We got given a copy before our daughter was born. She is now 10 months old, sleeps really well and is happy all the time. We have given a copy of this book to every expentant couple we know.
Our daughter never had colic so we never read those chapters of the book but so far everything else has been right on.
Without this book we never would have known that we needed to sleep our baby after no more than 2 hours of being awake - even at 6 months old. During the first 6 months or so I think I opened this book almost every day.
Night time sleep definitely organized first and we did go through about a week of crying before our daughter started falling asleep at night by herself with no crying. Naps were much harder for us and I think that without having this book we might have given up trying. But we didn't and then finally at 6 months old our daughter got the hang of naps without crying. Now she happily takes two naps a day and goes to bed at around 6pm and sleeps soundly until 6.30am. She never cries and is always happy.
Other than teaching the importance of watching for tired cues and keeping an eye on the clock, the big thing this book taught us was the importance of a good routine. Our bedtime routine was always much better than our nap routine which is why I think it took her longer to get the hang of naps...it was our fault!
At around 4-5 weeks our daughter started acting like she wanted to go to bed for the night at around 7pm. This book gave us the education to look for the right signs and the confidence to know that we were doing the right thing.
Even when we felt we were ready to try it, the week of 45 mins of crying at bedtime was hard to endure, there were days when I had to leave the house and my husband would call me once she was asleep. But I would do it again in a heartbeat. Our daughter has slept 12 hours straight though at night since she was 4 months old. Sometimes she wakes up in the night, has a little chat to herself and then goes right back to sleep. She never cries unless something is wrong, so now if she does ever cry we go straight in.
The best time to buy this book is before your baby is born, since it is hard to find time to read in those early weeks.
Book Review: Sleeps for 12 hours - no wakings. No crying it out!
Summary: 5 Stars
Read them all.. this is the only one you need!
Our baby started sleeping 12 hours at about 12 weeks, no nighttime wakings, and still does to this day unless he is ill. If he awakes we pick him up for few minutes and it's back to sleep he goes. He loves sleep! His pediatrician, friends and family (anyone we tell) are just amazed by this.
I read so many books on baby care and especially sleep. This book is the only book that made sense, was intuitive with recommendations (action plans) easy to follow. Dr Weissbluth is an expert in sleep and he hit the nail on the head - every step of the way was as he mentioned, maybe the timeline wasn't exact, as every baby is different, but the general progress was right on.
It was difficult for me to decipher through so many of the diverse parenting styles, approaches written about. I was anxious trying to following these structured approaches demanding you get on a schedule to avoid "bad habits" and avoid "accidental parenting". I "fired" all the other books/writers, finding Dr Weissbluth the most logical and easy to follow with results!
As stated in the book, first nighttime sleep was extended, then morning naps established and afternoon naps. The most contentious and nerve-wracking part was the "crying it out theory". I feared sleep training. Well we never had to do it! I am grateful to all the recommendations of Dr Weissbluth that helped us to avoid the cry-it-out approach. Crucial factors that helped avoid sleep training were consistency in soothing, sleep routines, letting him learn to sleep and most importantly timing! As Dr Weissbluth states, "perfect timing produces little to no crying". Once we figured it out the signs to watch for there was very little to no fussing or crying.
Another key principal is sleep begets sleep. The better rested my baby was the more he slept, the more peaceful and happy he is. It was a difficult and challenging few months following various methods. Once we adhered to Dr Weissbluth plans he started sleeping for 12 hours at 12 weeks and still does at 6 onths. He also takes two to three 1.5-2 hour naps. Our baby learned how to go to sleep and he loves sleeping in his crib. We are on a flexible schedule that works best for both of us.
Book Review: Great book that combines science with common sense
Summary: 5 Stars
As a child psychiatrist, I thought I knew a bit about kids and temperment. My first child (who is now 27 months) has shown me how much I still have to learn. I have read a ton of books, discussed these issues with colleagues and have helped many families struggle through their own parenting difficulties. I am now back at Amazon ordering this book for a friend with a new baby.
Our boy never slept well for the first 13 months, especially the first 6 months. He was very alert and awakened easily. He had trouble disengaging and calming himself. We tried soothing him. We tried the Ferber method. We did want him to suffer or cry for hours. There came a point where my wife and I became desperate for our own well-being! We finally bit the bullet and let him cry it out at about 10 months of age. The first night he screamed for 2.5 hours- we watched a whole movie, took turns taking a walk outside to get away from the crying. The second night took 1 hours. The 3rd night took 15 minutes. We always stuck to our routine- getting ready, reading books together, singing songs and forming a ritual saying goodnight to every person and his favorite toys. After 3 nights, everything was different. Over the past year he has never cried going to bed. He often sings or talks for 45 min, but eventually sleeps. Now, 1.5 yrs later, I can say with total confidence that he is not scarred for life, but actually the opposite. His daytimes are so much better, he is more fun to interact with, which leads to better attachment with us and others in the long run. Learning to sleep on one's own is just one of many struggles we all have in growing up.
This book combines a lot of common sense, real sleep science, and a systemized way of thinking about your kid's sleep. The best book of many that I have read on the topic. We keep referring back to it at every new stage of development of our child. Definitely a keeper.
Follow your instincts. Be aware that temperment plays a large role. Each kid is so different in so many ways, before we ever even have a chance to mess things up as parents. If you are reading this review, then attachment with your kid probably is not an issue. Probably more about your anxiety about being a good parent than anything else. Relax. Have fun. Kids are resilient. :)