Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth
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Book Reviews of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Book Review: Nourish your baby's brain with sleep
Summary: 5 Stars
You nourish your baby's body with food, and your baby's emotional development with affection and attention. These principles are accepted by most parents without question. Dr. Weissbluth explains, with scientific evidence and common sense, the less-accepted principle that you nourish your baby's brain with adequate sleep. Once you realize how important adequate and quality sleep is for your baby (contrary to critics, it's not just something that selfish parents seek so that THEY can get some free time or sleep), it makes sense for a loving parent to pursue this with fervor.
Dr. Weissbluth gives biologically sound advice on how you can best go about helping your baby get good sleep, using your baby's own biochemical development (by things like observing signs of alertness and drowsiness to start soothing your baby to sleep before they get over-tired; timing naps for times of the day when baby's bodies are biologically designed to sleep best; putting your baby to bed early--the earlier the better and longer they sleep). Dr. Weissbluth believes that a lot of colicky and fussy behavior (and later even things like ADHD) are due to sleep deprivation, and that once children are sleeping better they are genuinely happier kids!
I've read some of the reviews criticizing this book as "just another cry-it-out" method, but I would generally have to disagree with this. Dr. Weissbluth's main goal is for parents to advocate for their children's sleep. He does not eschew a particular method for how to obtain this, except for the principles I described above. He does mention various views out there (such as cry-it-out, controlled crying/check and console, as well as soothing your child to sleep until they are deep in sleep) and is a proponent of using more gentle techniques to obtain sleep, if they do in fact work for a particular set of parents/babies. He does acknowledge that for severely colicky babies, those techniques may not be as effective and that the extinction method may be the only thing that works.
Other helpful ideas he illuminates include: 1)Sleep is controlled by the brain, not the stomach; focusing on cluster feedings, etc don't make sense. (2)The awake brain and the sleep brain are biologically completely different; when a baby is crying in his biologically asleep rhythm (which a parent may mistake as his being biologically awake), it doesn't make sense to worry about the baby feeling abandoned while crying; he cannot neurologically make such a connection. (3)Sleep begets sleep; the more sleep you are able to help your baby get, the more sleep they will in turn get (4)Sleep needs to be stationary, motion sleep in swings, strollers, slings, arms, etc is not deep quality sleep.
Since reading Dr. Weissbluth's book, I am a major supporter of my baby's sleep. By following his principles, my 4 1/2 month old daughter is now taking naps for 5+ hours a day total and is sleeping 12-13 hours a night (with one VERY brief night wakening for a feed). She really is less fussy and happier, and I can see now how a lot of her behavior before was driven by her being over-tired and not rested enough. I used to think she "HAD" to cry herself to sleep (which she did regardless of anything I tried to do to soothe her). She now goes to bed each and every time (sometimes in a drowsy state, sometimes even while still awake) with no more crying. I realize now that her fussiness around sleeptime was due to her being desperately over-tired. I have had to adjust my life to help her get her sleep; yes we are on a schedule, but contrary to critics, this is not for MY convenience, but for her benefit; in fact, I am more inconvenienced as I don't go out when she should be sleeping or napping, but I am convinced that the benefit of sleep to my daughter's physical and mental development is more than worth it.
Book Review: This is the only sleep book I own
Summary: 5 Stars
I bought this book because of it's good reviews and started reading it when my daughter was several weeks old. She was laying in a cradle beside our bed and soon at 4am, instead of waking up for a feeding, she would suck madly on her fist while sleeping. Usually we woke her up for a bottle, but we followed the book's recommendation and let her sleep. It was then she she started sleeping 10, then 11 hours at night at three months old. I became a firm believer.
We chose the cold turkey method of sleeping through the night, although this is only one of the options the books gives you. By five months old, we would put her down wide awake at 6:30 the evening and she would sleep until at least 6am in the morning. I was flabbergasted. We had only endured two or three nights of initial screaming. Once she was down for the night, we did not go back into her room. She had learned to put herself to sleep and we started feeling like part of the living again.
I followed the book religiously for naps and nighttime sleep. It made for a very scheduled life, but I am thankful for the sleep we were all getting. We have a happy, rested, well adjusted baby. We are down to a 2 hour nap a day (at 14 months old) and she sleeps 12 - 13 hours at night. I still put her down at 6:30pm and she sleeps until at least 7:30am (and recently until 8am, after giving up her morning nap). It does usually take her a half hour to fall asleep, but she'll talk or hum to herself until then. We don't rush to get her when she wakes in the morning and she'll keep herself entertained for up to an hour - this was especially useful when she was waking up at 6am and we couldn't pry our eyes open that early. She is a terror if I don't put her down so early or if she does not nap will during the day, she really needs that much sleep! This still does not make much sense to me, you'd think the older they get the later they can stay up, but apparently not!
Not only was this book helpful in applying a sleep routine, it describes the stages of development babies go through and how it effects their sleep. It details what to expect and how to handle the changes. I never imagined it's totally normal for babies and toddlers to wake up 3 or 4 times a night but then go back to sleep. I would have been tempted to run in her room to help her get back to sleep, but that would have been disasterous. We leave her alone, even if she wakes up crying, and within a several minutes she has put herself back to sleep again. Who would have guessed??
My best friend was having problems with her daughter's sleep, so I gave her this book. Not only did it work for me, but it worked for her too. Now I buy this book for everyone I know who has an infant or who is expecting. I credit this book with my daughter's fabulous sleep habits and great disposition- I would never have thought of these things by myself since they are not necessarily intuitive.
If you follow the recommendations in this book, you will be living a fairly structured life. I don't care however, because we all sleep! And seeing how my daughter reacts to not getting enough sleep, I think it's cruel of me to not to protect her sleep schedule. That is more important to me than being able to spend the afternoon at the mall shopping.
I have not bothered reading any other books on sleep. This book is worth more than it's weight in gold to our family. We have been sleeping and well rested since our daughter was three months old, and that speaks for itself.
Book Review: This book saved our life!
Summary: 5 Stars
Before this book, I was at the point of declaring our 6-week-old daughter "high needs". She never, ever took naps during the day, spent hours screaming, slept a total of 8 hours out of every 24, wanted to nurse constantly and refused to be put down without hollering. i couldn't ever sleep, put her down, or even bathe or eat...I was a complete wreck. And so was she.My husband and I made up a sleep chart as the book instructs, and horrified by how little she was sleeping, started the sleep training.
After only 3 days, she was an absolutely CHANGED child. The difference was unbelievable. She became calm, happy, interested in the world, and laughed easily and often. So much for "high needs" -- she was simply exhausted but we hadn't been getting her signals or providing the proper environment for her to sleep. Weissbluth's solutions worked. They worked fast. They worked like magic. They worked permanently.
Now, at a year old, she sleeps for at least 2 hours in the morning, atleast 90 minutes in the afternoon, and a remarkable 14 hours straight each and every night, from 7pm to 9 am (btw...Weissbluth says not to let them sleep this late, but we feel she needs the sleep and stays on schedule regardless). Moreover, she goes to sleep, whether for naps or at night, without any crying at all.
A word on the crying issue: lots of parents in these reviews think it's horrible to let your child "cry it out." There's no question that your heart breaks when you hear your child in this state. But Weissbluth advocates not "crying it out" but recognizing the signs of fatigue BEFORE the child gets so exhausted that she cries. He says "perfect timing means no crying." Sounds tricky (it is) but it's also true.
And our daughter did cry when we first started the training...never very long (max 20 minutes). It was terrible, but letting a child cry in order to learn an important skill and get needed sleep is good parenting. I cringed at the couple from NJ who implied that parents who "actually love their child" would never let her cry, keep her awake to spend time with her or take her out rather than stick to her nap schedule (we all love to be with our children, but you wouldn't keep them from eating because you want to be with them...why would you keep them from sleeping? it's just as important!).
It's also important, as Weissbluth says, to understand why your baby is crying, and to recognize the difference between a "protest cry" where nothing's wrong but she just wants you, a tired cry where what she wants is to sleep (i've seen lots of parents misunderstand this cry and keep their child awake), or a cry of distress when something is truly wrong. now when our daughter does cry very very occasionally in the middle of the night, we know that something is truly wrong like she's sick or has gotten tangled in her sheets...and of course we go to her right away.
There's no doubt that this book has made us better, more sensitive parents, because we understand our child better and take great care to give her what she needs to thrive, including lots and lots of sleep as well as love and attention. we're also better rested because of it, and that much more able to devote ourselves fully to her when she's awake. as for her, she's affectionate without being clingy, never ever grumpy or demanding, and so sunny that everyone comments us on it. We have this book to thank, and we're sending it to every new parent we know.
Book Review: The Most Comprehensive Book About Childrens' Sleep
Summary: 5 Stars
Part I of the book is the scientific base. It covers all the sleep science that you ever need to know: sleep cycles, sleep timing, naps, etc. It helps you understand the importance of proper sleep and also covers various baby sleep problems and solutions.
Part II of the book is the sleep information and action plan based on child's age: up to 4 months, 5-12 months, 13 months to 3 years, 3 to 6 years, and 7 to 12 years.
At the end of each chapter, it has "Action Plan For Exhausted Parents". It is only a couple of pages long and contains the summary of all the important points of the chapter, and the plan that tells you what to do to solve sleep problems. So if you don't have time to read the whole book, you can just skip to those sections and find what you need to know.
Part III of the book covers special issues such as clinical sleep problems (sleepwalking, night terrors, etc.) and other events that affect sleep (such as new sibling, moving, etc.)
The author cites scientific studies to prove every point that he makes, so you know that it's not just his opinion, but an established scientific fact. The message throughout the book is: you are doing your baby a disservice if you don't teach him the healthy sleep habits. If your child is a poor sleeper and you are hesitant to do anything about it, this book will get you motivated to act now.
Most of the author's practical recommendations come down to the following: proper sleep timing, earlier bedtime and cry-it-out.
The author recommends the "cry-it-out" method called "extinction" - you just close the door and leave your child to cry however long it takes to fall asleep. While I'm sure that this method works, I personally prefer the Ferber method for those who have to resort to "cry-it-out". With the Ferber method, you leave the child to cry for short periods of time and then come back to check on them. The Ferber method worked really well for my daughter, and seemed less mean then "extinction".
Now what happens if "cry-it-out" doesn't work? The book doesn't address this situation, but it happened to me. As I said earlier, we sleep-trained our daughter using the Ferber method when she was 6 months old. It worked in 2 days, and kept working for a year - she slept through the night every night from 6 to 18 months. Then at 18 months she started waking up at night, standing in her crib and screaming. She didn't have health problems like ear infections, so it was purely a sleep issue. Ignoring her didn't help - toddlers are much more persistent than babies - they don't give up very easily. She just stood there and cried for a really long time until I'd come and sit in her room... then she'd fall asleep, I'd leave, and she'd wake up in a few hours and cry again... and it went on for over a month. I finally solved that problem by using the strategies described in another sleep book "The Baby Whisperer".
Overall I think this book is a required reading, even if you don't endorse the "cry-it-out" method. Understanding everything about sleep will make you better prepared to correct your child's sleep habits, no matter what sleep-training method you chose. Also, if you read it before your baby is born, knowing all the info about proper sleep timing can help prevent sleep problems in your newborn.
Book Review: Wow -- lots of sleep, VERY little crying!!!
Summary: 5 Stars
We were TIRED and desperate when my husband and I found this book, but when we ordered it (and dished out $$$ for express delivery), I was anxious about how I would feel about it. Reading other reviews and some of the text online, I hoped it wouldn't be another 'cry it out' book, advocating teaching small babies independence so that their parents could live an adult life with minor disruption. Needless to say, I had scanned plenty of those books and wasn't interested. On the spectrum between BabyWise and Dr. Sears, my husband and I fall in the middle, with an inclination, probably, toward Dr. Sears. And this book is something that, within days of reading and trying the tips, gave us confidence to know what our 4.5-month-old son needs -- SLEEP -- and how to make sure he gets it.
I was especially surprised and delighted by Weissbluth's philosophy in reference to breastfeeding. A lot of the books that focus on getting a baby to sleep through the night at an early age disregard, even chastise, the nature of a breastfed baby. How many times had I read that I should somehow try to prevent my son from nursing to sleep? Weissbluth permits, even encourages at times, nursing a baby to sleep. (And there is ample info about formula or bottle-fed babies' habits, as well.) Finally, he states repeatedly that a baby in the 4-9 month age range can be expected to wake at least once in the night for a feeding. Needless to say, this alleviated a great deal of the frustrations that I found with other books. He also seems comfortable with co-sleeping -- we do not have a family bed in our house, but it seems pretty supportive of those who choose that route.
I should say, our goal was not so much getting our son to sleep through the night -- he already did that pretty well (most nights) on his own. But he had virtually eliminated any daytime napping and had begun waking at night -- and not out of hunger. He was just restless and couldn't fall or stay asleep on his own anymore. We needed to know how to increase the quality of his sleep and the quantity of his naps (which, in turn, increases the quality of his sleep overall). And just four days after beginning with Weissbluth's philosophy, we are already seeing significant results. No, it's not perfect, and we adapted some of his methods to suit our own style, but just yesterday our previously difficult -- if not impossible -- little napper went down for three naps, totalling close to 5 hours on the day, with virtually no crying (maybe fussing for 30 seconds, at the most!). This is 100% thanks to what we have learned from this book.
Not the most user-friendly in its organization, possibly, but I have found it to be good enough to go through in a few minutes and get a sense of what I'm looking for. It would be best to read it chapter by chapter, but as any exhausted parent can tell you, that's not always possible! :) I also find the personal testimonials helpful, as I can find several that have elements of the challenges we are facing.
All told, just a really great book. If you are completely uncomfortable to let a baby fuss or cry a little by him/herself, this might not be for you. But in our experience, a VERY SMALL amount of fussing has saved us from hours of rocking, shushing, and doing anything else to get our boy to sleep!