Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth
|
List Price: Our Price: $12.65 You Save: $12.30 (49%) Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days Buy Used: from $8.97 (click here) Category: Book See more book details and other editions |
|---|
Book Reviews of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Book Review: Helped my 3.5 month old sleep 11-12 hours a night
Summary: 5 Stars
Ferber (I know this is a review for Weissbluth but bear with me) says "It's entirely reasonable to cut back to two nighttime feedings by the time your child is two or three months of age, one feeding by three or four months, and none at all at five months. Many children give up nighttime feedings altogether around the age of three or four months;basically no normal, healthy full-term babies still require a nighttime feeding when they are five months old, and you can certainly insist on stopping them altogether at that point if you want to."
Sounds too good to be true? That's exactly what my son did.
From talking to my friends, it sounds like I won the lottery on the sleep friend since my 3.5 month old son has started sleeping 11-12 hours straight a night. He just started a week ago and he's not completely consistent about this yet, so there are some nights he still wakes up to be fed, but I can happily live with that. I think part of it is genetic & part of it is luck, but I also attribute it to the fact that I obsessed over having him develop healthy sleep habits early on so I could avoid having to "sleep train" or break bad habits later on. Some of things I did as soon as he turned 2 months old:
- Moved him to his crib in the nursery (before that he was sleeping with me in bed)
- Did not wake him for feeding during the day (if he slept through a meal, I would just time shift subsequent feedings)
- Avoided rocking him to sleep
- Put him down while he was drowsy but still slightly awake
- Separated the time between his last feeding for the day and bed time (so he didn't need to rely on food to fall asleep)
- Made sure all his naps and bedtime were in the crib
- If he fell asleep in a swing, I would turn off the motion so the swing would be still
Basically, I tried very hard to teach my son how to fall asleep by himself while respecting his demands and need for sleep (i.e., watching for his sleepy cues and letting him sleep for as long as he needed, even during the day).
The two books I swear by that gave me the necessary methodology are "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth and "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber. There was some overlap between the two, but I gleaned enough different information from them that I recommend getting both.
Parents often think that to get their kids to sleep longer at night, they
should be kept awake for as long as possible during the day so that they become exhausted in the evenings and snooze better. WRONG! Kids actually become "overtired" and can't sleep. Instead, they should sleep as much as they need to during the day and be put to bed earlier -- completely counter intuitive. I used Weissbluth to make sure I paid attention to when my son showed signs of being sleepy and put him down for napping right away. Weissbluth also gives some very helpful descriptions on what to expect (and what to do) when a baby is 0-2 months old, 2-3 months old, etc.
Ferber is attributed (and in a bad way) for the "cry it out" method, but I think it's because people misinterpret his recommendations. I think he is misunderstood and his methodology isn't as traumatic as people make it out to be. Having said that, I never actually had to sleep train my child or "Ferberize" him. Ferber doesn't recommend this for children until they are four months old, and I wasn't going to even try until he was five months old, but I was able to avoid this altogether.
Oh, and try to read these books BEFORE you baby is born! These books are not light reading and I made the mistake of tackling them after my darling was born which is tough to do when I had so little "free" time and was horribly sleep deprived. But the effort paid off in spades.
Book Review: very helpful, but you must read it
Summary: 5 Stars
I'll start by saying my daughter is 11 months old and we have been using this book from the beginning, every single suggestion in it has worked. That being said, this book is not set up in the best most organized way and it can be difficult to read. That is why I think there are negative reviews...people don't quite understand what Weissbluth is saying and jump to the wrong conclusions. I have heard him accused of heartless cry-it-out. This is untrue. Yes, Weissbluth does recommend what some people refer to as cry-it-out...but only in certain circumstances. Your child must be old enough, you the parent must be able to handle it, and your child must be of the disposition to handle it. He freely admits that cry-it-out is not the best for every child and he gives alternate suggestions. He is not against co-sleeping or breastfeeding and he also suggests that babies may still need to be fed overnight well into the 9th month and that you should always go to your baby if you think he or she is hungry. I'll state that again, you should always feed your child when hungry. That's right, it is not recommended by this book that you ignore your child's basic needs. People that are stating otherwise have not read this book carefully. This doesn't sound so heartless to me. But it is also proof that this book is not written well that people are able to jump to such negative conclusions about this book, if you don't read carefully you may miss some critical advice. Weissbluth also provides research studies to back his claims up. As a professional with a master's degree, this is important to me. This man knows what he is doing. I now understand the infant sleep cycle and how to help my baby reach her sleeping potential. This is a long read and like I said, not organized well. I think for some people the reading material is over their heads. It is a shame it could not be more user friendly. Also, there are some individuals that are unwilling to entertain the notion of crying it out under any circumstances. This is not the book for you then, I would suggest "The No Cry Sleep Solution" By Elizabeth Pantley. But don't give this book negative reviews because you don't understand teaching your baby to self-soothe. Every parent is different, but this book does work if it is something you are willing to undergo. His information really hit home for me. His point that every time you go into your child and respond to his crying, you are depriving him of sleep and the ability to learn to soothe himself on his own made me really think. My baby was a horrible sleeper with no self-soothing abilities. I waited to try modified cry-it-out until 9 months. Now my baby soothes herself to sleep and is a much happier baby. But I listen to my baby's cries, if I think she needs me I always go to her. This book will work if you will let it work and come into it with an open mind. But all parents are different. If you are unwilling to let your baby cry at all, even at an older age, don't buy this book. Recognize that this approach is not for you, but don't knock it and give it negative reviews.
Another point, I am using the term "cry-it-out" loosely in this review but that is not exactly what is being recommended here. Throughout the book, you are taught to recognize your child's tired cues. When you catch your child on the wave of drowsiness and put them to bed at that point, crying should be minimal. When a child becomes over-tired, then they fight going to sleep and may cry. Some of these negative reviews seem to be from people that are anti any form of baby crying so they are twisting the meaning of this book and just searching for things to find wrong with it. This book was so meaningful and helpful to me and I consider myself a compassionate and caring mom. Don't let the negative reviews scare you off.
Book Review: Ignor negative reviews
Summary: 5 Stars
I am writing this review to encourage people to ignor the negative reviews, read the book and decide for yourself. I agree that the book could have been better written however, it was still a life saver for me. Many of the negative reviewers have children who have no sleep problems whatsoever and view this method as nothing more than child abuse. It is not child abuse if you actually follow the adice in this book and do not do anything you are not comfortable with. Dr. W. says this time and gain. If you find something is traumatic for either you or your baby wait to try again or try something else.
In my case, my child slept well until about 4 months of age, only waking about 2 times per night. By 7 months of age she was waking about once an hour. She slept in my bed and I nursed her everytime she awoke. Sometimes she would not go back to sleep and would stay up for about and hour and a half. I was literally shaking from sleep deprivation. I knew I had to try something else.
I had always prefered to have my baby sleep either in my bed or in a crib next to me and firmly resisted having it any other way. I am an experienced parent. This is my 4th child and the only one who has had a problem sleeping thru the night, although my third did not nap well and I see now that had I followed Dr. W's. advice, I think I could have prevented this problem as well.
I began by moving my baby out of my room. I took the time to become aware of her sleepy signals. The book THE 90-MINUTE BABY SLEEP PROGRAM by Polly Moore helped alot here. I put my baby to bed at the correct time. She cried for over 30 minutes the first time. I peeked in on her thu a crack in the door several times. She fell asleep and only woke up a couple of times that night. The next two or three weeks were full of ups and downs, partly because I had to learn how to sleep again myself and because my baby had to learn to go back to sleep herself. I let myself go her no more than two times per night to nurse but did peek in on her thru the crack in the door. By week four my baby was sleeping great. She naps wonderfully, loves her bed, goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:30 (compared to 11:00), gets up around 7:30 and is happy and loving during the day.
There is no reason for this to be a traumatizing experience for a child. Learn your child's sleepy signals, know what her cries mean and help her learn to sleep. It is not easy to ignor a crying crying child. Impossible really. I did not ignor my child but rather recognized that her cries where not actually distress but mostly anger and confusion. Now that she understands that her crib is for sleeping, we have no problem at all.
If you are satisfied with your child's sleep habits, you don't need this book, but you also don't need to leave a bad review either. Read the book with an open mind and decide for yourself. I am very glad I read this book, poor written or not.
Book Review: The most important book for new parents
Summary: 5 Stars
I love my boy so much. I tried so hard to help him sleep. I had no idea what I was doing. I hadn't read a single book on sleep before he was born. Nobody told me it was the most important and hardest part of taking care of a baby. All they said was "you can't spoil a newborn." Well what do you do afterwards? What do you do in the time between 4 weeks and 4 months to help them sleep? Well, what I did was rock him to sleep each and every time. I didn't know what else to do. By the time he was 4 months, he was up every hour all night long. That's every night. I never slept. I was dying, falling apart, disintegrating. How could it be this hard? I'm smart, hardworking, and dedicated to being the best mom possible. And for all that effort, I was just spinning my wheels.
I thought this book was just a cry-it-out manual that I would have to turn to later if I couldn't teach him on my own. I WAS SO WRONG. This is the most important book for taking care of a baby. Sleep is everything. I wish I had known, I wish someone told me. Why don't people talk about this?
Please read this book before your baby is born. I mean really read it, start from page one and read through 9 months. If you follow the rules for months 1-4 you will most likely not have to resort to crying-it-out. And if you do it will be minimal. The 5-9 month section shows you where you are trying to get to. It shows you the blue print for the natural sleep cycle of a baby.
If you are like me...I read the book, was committed to sleep training, but wasn't confident enough to do this alone...then you can call and make an appointment with Dr. Weissbluth. We're lucky because we live in Chicago (his office is here) but he does phone consults if you live out of state. Google his name and you'll find his number.
I can tell from meeting with Dr. Weissbluth that it really bothers him that some people think that he's a heartless beast who wants to make kids cry. He wants kids to sleep. It's so vitally important to their well being and the well being of the entire family. He does not believe that sleep training equals crying it out. He wants people to start from the day the baby comes home to teach the sleep habits that help them sleep well. He does not want children to suffer for the first 4 months, sleep deprived, only to have to go through a week or so of crying to make up for lost time. He titled the book "Healthy Sleep Habits" because that is his focus. He advocates crying-it-out because it is the most direct path from bad sleeping to good sleeping. That's all. He would rather a baby cry for a couple of hours total, then go sleep deprived for months or years.
By the way, babies don't just grow out of it. I was waiting for the magic day my son would just figure it out. Things only got worse.
I have to get the word out. Please read this book.
Book Review: A WONDERFUL guide for parents
Summary: 5 Stars
I have to first go on the record as saying that I am not a parent myself, so take what I have to say as you will. I am, however, someone with a degree in early childhood, a former teacher in an infant room for many years and currently a full-time nanny. I was referred to Dr. Weissbluth's book by a friend of mine (who is a mom), and I absolutely love, love, love it.
In my opinion, sleep is the most important piece of care you can give your child, and too many people do not treat it as such. The book itself points out how a parent would not deny his or her child food or clothing, but so many parents do deny sleep. I saw it time and time again with the children I cared for in child care. So many of them were getting through their days on too little sleep, and so were crankier, more wired or sick more often than they needed to be. I also recommended this book to the parents of the infant I now care for when she was 5-months-old, and although they did not follow the book word-for-word, they instituted enough of the ideas that in the span of a few weeks she became a much better sleeper, including going to sleep on her own (almost always in the span of just a few minutes). It is now a full year later, and she is a happy and healthy toddler, who loves her crib, is almost always asleep by 7, never wakes at night, and is more than happy to hang in her crib for however long necessary in the morning until her parents get her up. She also takes a 2 to 3 hour nap every day, and only within the last couple of months has given up her morning nap.
Of course every child is different, and yours may not need quite that amount of sleep, but I'd be willing to bet that if you are even reading this review, which means you are considering the book, your child is not getting enough sleep. Early bedtimes are key, which Dr. Weissbluth lays out in the book. I found the tone of the book to be firm, yet kindly and rational. There may have been a couple of points I did not completely agree with, and I'm sure that would be the case for anyone, but 95% of the book was spot on in my opinion. Some people seemed to have more problems with the book, and of course they have the right to their opinions, but I would also suggest that people get uncomfortable when being told what they are doing is wrong as parents, so some of that may be natural defensiveness. I don't mean to suggest that that is what Dr. Weissbluth is doing in the book, but he is very definite in his ideas, and his ideas are not necessarily societal norms. One needs to change his or her way of thinking about sleep, but I definitely believe it is worth it.
In the end, I can't recommend this book enough. I personally think it should be required reading for every new parent!