Growth into Manhood: Resuming the Journey by Alan Medinger
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Book Reviews of Growth into Manhood: Resuming the Journey
Book Review: How Boys Turn Into Men
Summary: 4 Stars
Growth into Manhood: Resuming the Journey This book appears at first glance to be directed toward men recovering from homosexual tendencies. But it is equally helpful in understanding the process by which any boy gains a true sense of manhood. Medinger contends that homosexually oriented men are men whose growth into comfortable and confident manhood was arrested, often by lack of affirmation (or worse yet, outright rejection by) their father figure. For dads looking to avoid and compensate for mistakes in raising their boys, this book identifies the real "hot button" issues, the ones that can make or break their boys. For men wanting to "resume the journey" this book provides helpful insights.Book Review: I don't even know where to begin
Summary: 2 Stars
I have so many problems with this book. To be fair, there are some redeeming qualities in how Medinger encourages men to espouse traits like courage and decisiveness. Unfortunately, the positive end of my review ends here.
The majority of this book reinforces the hurtful generalizations that society has toward gay men and celebrates restrictive gender stereotypes that would seem appropriate if it weren't for the fact that we live in the 21st century.
First, Medinger asserts that "full manhood" is achieved when a man is capable of being a provider, husband, father, and citizen of his community. Also, real men are Christians who never, ever masturbate. Later, he states that Jesus is the one model of manhood to which all men should aspire. Jesus...who was neither a father nor a husband. Oh, and he was a Jew.
In case any female readers feel left out, Medinger has a few things to say about them, too. Despite his biblically-backed stance that women are "totally equal in value to men," he tells "homosexual overcomers" to practice traditional courtesies toward women, such as opening doors for them and helping them into their chairs when they sit down. Call me crazy, but if Medinger believes men and women are equal, why does he promote this kind of special -- and, admittedly, condescending -- treatment without telling men to expect the same behavior in return?
All sarcasm aside, Medinger's analysis of gender is very problematic. I really wish this book had offered constructive suggestions for how "manhood" can be more inclusive rather than a boys' club that requires full conformity. If a gay man who may not be physically inclined or "tough" feels alienated by the rest of male society, why must HE change? Why shouldn't his heterosexual male peers broaden their understanding of what it might mean to be a man? Medinger himself admits that many aspects of mainstream manhood are silly and superficial...yet he does nothing to dispute or address them. Rather, he accepts them as natural and unchangeable, and in doing so he perpetuates the problem.
We will not make any progress if we insist on categorizing ourselves according to strict criteria, such as the qualities -- physical, emotional, spiritual -- that constitute a man versus a woman. What about those heterosexual men who have no interest in sports, are for whatever reason unable to be husbands or fathers, and do not subscribe to the Christian faith? Are they men? According to Medinger, they most decidedly are not.
I long for a time when books like this no longer have to be written, because it will mean that gay people are no longer deemed "broken and incomplete" by Christians, the one group who should (in theory) be the first to show acceptance and love despite individual differences. I will hang on to this book as a reminder of how much progress we've made when that day finally comes.
Book Review: What a load of crap
Summary: 1 Stars
Read what the real professionals have to say.
AMERICAN PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION
? "The potential risks of 'reparative therapy' are great, including depression, anxiety and self-destructive behavior, since therapist alignment with societal prejudices against homosexuality may reinforce self-hatred already experienced by the patient. Many patients who have undergone "reparative therapy" relate that they were inaccurately told that homosexuals are lonely, unhappy individuals who never achieve acceptance or satisfaction. The possibility that the person might achieve happiness and satisfying interpersonal relationships as a gay man or lesbian is not presented, nor are alternative approaches to dealing with the effects of societal stigmatization discussed ... the APA opposes any psychiatric treatment, such as 'reparative' or 'conversion' therapy which is based on the assumption that homosexuality per se is a mental disorder or based on a prior assumption that the patient should change his/her sexual orientation.
? "There is no published scientific evidence supporting the efficacy of 'reparative therapy' as a treatment to change one's sexual orientation. It is not described in the scientific literature, nor is it mentioned in the APA's latest comprehensive Task Force Report, Treatments of Psychiatric Disorders (1989).
? "Clinical experience suggests that any person who seeks conversion therapy may be doing so because of social bias that has resulted in internalized homophobia, and that gay men and lesbians who have accepted their sexual orientation positively are better adjusted than those who have not done so."
AMERICAN PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION
? "Even though homosexual orientation is not a mental illness and there is no scientific reason to attempt conversion of lesbians or gays to heterosexual orientation, some individuals may seek to change their sexual orientation or that of another individual (for example, parents seeking therapy for their child). Some therapists who undertake this kind of therapy report that they have changed their clients' sexual orientation (from homosexual to heterosexual) in treatment. Close scrutiny of their reports indicates several factors that cast doubt: Many of the claims come from organizations with an ideological perspective on sexual orientation, rather than from mental health researchers; the treatments and their outcomes are poorly documented; and the length of time that clients are followed up on after treatment is too short.
? "In 1990, the American Psychological Association stated that scientific evidence does not show that conversion therapy works and that it can do more harm than good. Changing one's sexual orientation is not simply a matter of changing one's sexual behavior. It would require altering one's emotional, romantic and sexual feelings and restructuring one's self-concept and social identity.
AMERICAN MEDICAL ASSOCIATION
? "Most of the emotional disturbance experienced by gay men and lesbians around their sexual identity is not based on physiological causes but rather is due more to a sense of alienation in an unaccepting environment. For this reason, aversion therapy (a behavioral or medical intervention which pairs unwanted behavior, in this case, homosexual behavior, with unpleasant sensations or aversive consequences) is no longer recommended for gay men and lesbians. Through psychotherapy, gay men and lesbians can become comfortable with their sexual orientation and understand the societal response to it."
AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS
? "The psychosocial problems of gay and lesbian adolescents are primarily the result of societal stigma, hostility, hatred and isolation. The gravity of these stresses is underscored by current data that document that gay youths account for up to 30 percent of all completed adolescent suicides. Approximately 30 percent of a surveyed group of gay and bisexual males have attempted suicide at least once. Adolescents struggling with issues of sexual preference should be reassured that they will gradually form their own identity and that there is no need for premature labeling of one's sexual orientation."
Book Review: Evaluation of a thorough and necessary analysis
Summary: 5 Stars
I would recommend this for any male, not necessarily limited to those struggling with homosexual issues. It is an in-depth look at what is needed for growth into manhood, and being OK with being a man, and what being a man entails. Book Review: Good insights
Summary: 4 Stars
This would be a good book for you if:
1). You believe that the fact that humans are male and female,
and can experience the qualities of masculinity and
femininity, is reflective of a divine intent and not the
result of accidental evolution.
2). You are a man who experiences sexual attractions and
emotional longings for other men, but who also has the
intellectual integrity and emotional courage to ask what
these obvious desires for maleness/male connection
signify and what experiences in your past may have
contributed to them, and if you have a sneaking suspicion
that conventional gay orthodoxy doesn't provide all the
answers, despite whatever oversimplifications or
judgmental attitudes that professing Christians have
exhibited.