Getting the Love You Want, 20th Anniversary Edition: A Guide for Couples
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Book Summary Information
Afterword: Harville HendrixEdition: Paperback
Published: 2007-12-26
ISBN: 0805087001
Number of pages: 320
Publisher: Holt Paperbacks
Book Reviews of Getting the Love You Want, 20th Anniversary Edition: A Guide for Couples
Book Review: Best I've read on relationships
Summary: 5 Stars
This book is great! It really explains why we react the way we do and can really improve your relationship. The reading is easy sometimes gets a little boring but the content is worth it. The idea is that we marry or get into a relationship with someone who will help us heal ourselves because they have faults that either our caretakers had or that are part of what we secretly want to be. It also has some great exercises for improving your relationship. A must read for anyone dedicated to their partner.
Summary of Getting the Love You Want, 20th Anniversary Edition: A Guide for Couples
When Harville Hendrix writes about relationships, he discusses them not just as an educator and a therapist, but as a man who has himself been through a failed marriage. Hendrix felt the sting of his divorce intensely because he believed it signaled not only his failure as a husband but also his failure as a couples counselor. Investigating why his marriage dissolved led him to start looking into the psychology of love. Marriage, he ultimately discovered, is the "practice of becoming passionate friends."As a result of his research, Hendrix created a therapy he calls Imago Relationship Therapy. In it, he combines what he's learned in a number of disciplines, including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, to name just a few. He expounds upon this approach in Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. His purpose in writing the book, he says, is "to share with you what I have learned about the psychology of love relationships, and to help you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship."
Divided into three sections, the book covers "The Unconscious Marriage," which details a marriage in which the remaining desires and behavior of childhood interfere with the current relationship; "The Conscious Marriage," which shows a marriage that fulfils those childhood needs in a positive manner; and a 10-week "course in relationship therapy, " which gives detailed exercises for you and your partner to follow in order to learn how to "replace confrontation and criticism ... with a healing process of mutual growth and support." The text is occasionally dry and technical; however, the information provided is valuable, the case studies are interesting, and the exercises are revealing and helpful. By utilizing his program, Hendrix hopes you too will be able to solve your marital difficulties without the expense of a therapist. --Jenny Brown
The bestselling guide to transforming an intimate relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship, revised and with a new afterword
In Getting the Love You Want, Dr. Harville Hendrix presents the relationship skills that have helped hundreds of thousands of couples replace confrontation and criticism with a process of mutual support that facilitates healing and growth. This extraordinary practical guide describes the revolutionary technique of Imago Relationship Therapy, which combines a number of disciplines—including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, social learning theory, Gestalt therapy, and interpersonal neurosciences, among others—to create a program that transforms conflict into creative tension that deepens connection and renews passion.
In a new chapter and afterword, we learn the key ways in which Imago Therapy—now practiced by more than two thousand therapists worldwide—has evolved since its inception. One development lies in Hendrix’s discovery that helping couples express their anger merely reinforces negative and critical thought patterns rather than defusing them, so today’s Imago therapists have shifted focus toward helping couples eliminate all negativity from their daily interactions. This fundamental change has proven invaluable in couples therapy, and the importance of eliminating negativity has been integrated throughout the text, allowing readers of the 2008 edition to benefit from Hendrix’s ongoing discoveries during his last two decades of work.
In a new chapter and afterword, we learn the key ways in which Imago Therapy—now practiced by more than two thousand therapists worldwide—has evolved since its inception. One development lies in Hendrix’s discovery that helping couples express their anger merely reinforces negative and critical thought patterns rather than defusing them, so today’s Imago therapists have shifted focus toward helping couples eliminate all negativity from their daily interactions. This fundamental change has proven invaluable in couples therapy, and the importance of eliminating negativity has been integrated throughout the text, allowing readers of the 2008 edition to benefit from Hendrix’s ongoing discoveries during his last two decades of work.
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