Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen
by Candice Watters
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Book Summary Information
Author: Candice WattersEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Original Language); English (Unknown); English (Published)
Published: 2008-01-01
ISBN: 0802458297
Number of pages: 208
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Book Reviews of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen
Book Review: Better Than Maken, But Still Not Good
Summary: 2 Stars
Candice Watters has written a far better book than Debbie Maken, and that must be said up front. Gone is the shaming of single men, and gone is the ad hominem argumentation that saturates Maken's book.
Now, we need to understand that the entirity of this book is hanging upon her interpretations of scripture. This is unfortunate because Candice has her master's degree in Public Policy, and not in anything having to do with Biblical exegesis. Hence, she makes several gross errors in the interpretation of the text of scripture, and then builds on those errors in order to build her case.
The first text of scripture she discusses is Genesis 2:18. She compares Adam alone to a three legged dog, and to a lone person of the trinity [p.22]. However, this interpretation of Genesis 2:18 is impossible. The literal translation of this passage is "The being of the man alone is not good." Hence, it is the *situation* and not "the man" himself that is not good [see Waltke/O'Connor An Introduction to Biblical Hebrew Syntax ?36.2.1b].
Also, a parallel has been missed with Genesis 3:16, where the Bible says that, now, because of sin, there will be strife within the marriage relationship. Apparently, because of this, just as it is not good for the man to be alone, it is likewise not good for the man to be married because of sin. This parallel basically means that both marriage and singleness are parallel, and, of course, Candice does not like this idea.
She also quotes Genesis 1:28. However, I have to ask, if she believes that "Be Fruitful and Multiply" refers to individuals, does she likewise believe that "fill the earth" refers to individuals? Is this text then saying that every individual couple must have seven billion children so that they "fill the earth?" No, the reality is that, if you look at the text contextually, you will find that Moses is not referring to individual couples at all. Before 1:28 you have the creation of man in God's image, and Moses saying "Male and Female he created them." Now, obviously from the context, the "them" is mankind. Hence, what warrant do we have for switching "them"s from 27c to 28a? If this is the case, the the commandment is not given to individuals but the "species" of human beings.
With regards to 1 Corinthians 7:2, Gordon Fee points out in his commentary that the phrase "have their own wife" should be taken as "have sexual relations with their own wife" [pgs.278-279]. In fact, this is how the NET translates this passage, and they list Matt 20:23; 22:28; Mark 6:18; 12:33; Luke 20:28; John 4:18 [twice] 1 Cor 5:1; and 7:29 as other examples of where the NT uses "have" in this fashion. Likewise, there are major problems with using this verse in that Paul later on in this chapter says he has no command from the Lord concerning virgins, and later on tells them *not* to marry! Such makes Paul utterly self-contradictory.
Next, Candice trys to make a Biblical case for the idea that men must be the ones who initiate the relationship. She does this by an appeal to Proverbs 18:22, emphasizing the "finds" in "he who finds a wife" [p.75]. However, Candice is totally unable to show, from this text, that this purusuit is *uniquely* male. What if we were to interpret the "finds" in this passage as "helping it happen?" She would have to argue that the man and the woman are both responsible for this. Indeed, she gives us no exegetical reason to avoid this interpretation.
Even worse is the way the book of Ruth is mishandled to support this. Ruth going to the threshing floor is an obvious problem for her interpretation of Proverbs 18:22. However, all of her arguments to try to get around this obvious fact are not very convincing. For example, she says that this is not an ideal situation. However, all of the things she mentions have nothing to do with whether or not Boaz could have initiated the relationship with Ruth. Boaz was alive and so was Ruth, and thus, Boaz could have easily intiated the relationship with her. However, even worse is her suggestion that Boaz is "husbanding" Ruth in Chapter 2 [pgs. 118-119]. Of course, this ignores what Boaz himself said in verses 11 and 12, and that is that he was doing it because of what Ruth did for her mother-in-law! In fact, Candice quotes this very text on page 117 of her book! Not only that, Naomi herself says that Boaz has done this because of his kindness, and notes that this is something he regularly has done to both the living and the dead [Ruth 2:20]. Hence, Boaz is presented as a man of faith, who has done these deeds, not because he is husbanding anyone, but because he trusts in God, and lives according to his commandments.
Indeed, after one shows that she has not properly interpreted scripture, all of her other ideas on the basis of these misinterpretations likewise make no sense. For instance, there is no reason for a girl to just cut off all contact with a guy just because he he doesn't initiate, since there is nothing in the Bible that says it must be the man who initiates.
This is why I am concerned for the carelessness of modern relationship books in interpreting scripture. Rather than just restating what someone else has already said, relationship books need to be about the task of showing how the text can help solve many of these problems. I am concerned that, instead, many books just pick up on fads, and force the fad onto the text of scripture. I believe this is just one more example of that very thing.
Summary of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen
Watters gives women permission to want a Christian marriage, encourages them to believe its possible, and supplies the tools to get there. This book blends the authors personal journey from singleness to marriage with a biblical perspective on marriage.Marriage Books
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