Gay Marriage: Why It Is Good for Gays, Good for Straights, and Good for America by Jonathan Rauch
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Book Reviews of Gay Marriage: Why It Is Good for Gays, Good for Straights, and Good for America
Book Review: Narrow View
Summary: 1 Stars
I am a gay man but I have a problem with the view of this book that marriage is the end all of a relationship, that it must be the final step for a complete relationship. What decade is this, the 1950's? If marriage is so great, how come so many are divorced? Marriage is good for some, not needed for others. Mr. Rauch's view that you must be married to be part of the social fabric of this society is an insult to all single people, gay or straight, or those in a relationship who are not interested in getting the government involved in their lives. Believe it or not, there are plenty of happy people that are single and loving it.Book Review: thoughtful, rational, sensible
Summary: 5 Stars
Jonathan Rauch's new book, "Gay Marriage" is just what the country needs right now....less shouting and more reason. Rauch wisely frames his arguments regarding homosexuality in America around the issue of marriage as it has emerged in a rapid-fire way as the central social issue of the day. De-mystifying most of the arguments made by conservatives, Rauch nonetheless is willing to be open and fair with them...to a point. His point, that same-sex marriage will be good for everyone is accurate, but as he also stresses it could have the possibility of a downside in its implementation. His premise reflects the old saying, "a rising tide lifts all boats".
Rauch encourages the reader to think about the issue which is good advice as it seems that so many in the United States more viscerally react to the idea of same-sex marriage than give it a mindful rendering. In his discussion regarding what some perceive to be an immature side to homosexuality I wish he had made note of one thing.....the fact that a few states allow heterosexual minors to marry... Hawaii and Georgia for instance, allow marriages at sixteen.
The author makes it clear that until gay marriage is accepted homosexuals will continue to be viewed as second-class citizens. Civil unions just won't do, he remarks, but adds that at least they are better than nothing. His beginning and ending chapters reflect what all gays feel and all straights should read....imagining a life without the possibility of marriage. Jonathan Rauch gives clarity to his arguments and a hope that marriage will someday be an option for all people. His book is not so much ahead of its time, but more appropriately right on time....and right on the mark.
Book Review: Belongs in every public library
Summary: 5 Stars
Every public library must have a copy of this book to provide researchers, especially students, with the best data and information to do a thorough study of the subject. As a librarian, I can highly recommend this title as an excellent choice for libraries without a lot of money to spend providing books on every topic. This one is essential for all collections.Book Review: Faulty argumentation and selective evidence
Summary: 1 Stars
This is the most compelling book so far to make the case for same-sex marriage (SSM). However, as a defense of gay marriage, Jonathan Rauch's Gay Marriage suffers from a number of flaws.For example, Rauch says equality before the law demands that there be no exception as to who can marry. He illustrates his point by saying that in the US, "homosexuals cannot legally marry anyone they love. There is no heterosexual in this position." This of course is just blatantly false.
As a married male, I cannot marry another woman. I cannot marry my son. I cannot marry a group of people. It is of course fully possible for me to deeply love another woman, my son, and a select group of people, perhaps even at the same time. But that love does not mean I can marry the object of my love.
This is one of the fundamental flaws in Rauch's book. The very same arguments he uses for SSM can be used for the legal recognition and celebration of any number of loving sexual relationships, be it incest, polygamy, and so on. The same arguments apply.
Of course Rauch deals with these objections, but dismisses them as lacking in merit. He says such "anything goes" arguments are easily dealt with. The promotion of incest or group sex are not in the same league as the case for SSM he says, and argues that they can be opposed on other grounds. He concludes by saying that "when heterosexuals get the right to marry two other people or a sibling or a dog or a Volkswagon, homosexuals should get that right also. Until then, there is no reason to discuss it."
But there is. When de facto or cohabiting relationships first received equal recognition under law, making them equal with marriage (at least here in Australia), conservative voices warned that this would be the thin edge of the wedge. People in other types of relationships would soon be demanding the same benefits of marriage.
We were of course scoffed at and derided for suggesting such way-out possibilities. Well, those possibilities have now become realities, and there is plenty of discussion on the Web, in gay newspapers, in academia, and elsewhere, for these other sorts of relationships to be formally and publicly recognised as well. True, such voices may now be in the very small minority. But so were advocates of SSM thirty years ago. Indeed, Rauch does admit later that "legalization of same-sex marriage might lessen resistance to other forms of change."
Moreover, no homosexual is denied the right to marry, if he should so choose to marry someone of the opposite sex. Of course Rauch dismisses such an argument, and says homosexuals cannot help it, they have no choice in the matter, and nature has made them that way. This is another major flaw in his book. Not only is there no clear scientific evidence available for any sort of genetic basis to homosexuality, but some of the more honest gay activists have admitted that there is a real element of choice in the gay lifestyle.
Rauch simply dismisses talk of therapy for gays, the reality of ex-gays, and so on. But to dismiss something because you don't want to acknowledge it is no argument at all. The truth is, there are hundreds of centers around the world devoted to helping gays who want to go straight. And there are many thousands of ex-homosexuals who have given up on their lifestyle. Some have gone on to heterosexual marriage and have had children. But for Rauch they simply do not exist.
Rauch believes that most gay men will eventually embrace marriage. But there is a huge debate in the gay community about this issue, with many gays opposed to the idea altogether, and many quite happy to settle for types of civil unions, and so on. And even those who do favor marriage, like Andrew Sullivan, admit that their version of marriage is quite different from the traditional understanding. Sullivan for example speaks of the need for "extra-marital outlets" in his version of marriage.
Rauch is asking for a revolutionary social change. He does admit that when we tinker with tradition, we never know what might happen. "A catastrophe cannot be ruled out" he concedes. Yet abounding optimism and wishful thinking characterise his argument.
This hope that everything will turn out all right is found in many stages of his argument. For example, he states a number of times that gay marriage will tame the cruising gay male, domesticate him, and make him more committed in relationships. Thus SSM will be good for gays and the rest of society. But as Maggie Gallagher pointed out some years ago, it is not marriage that tames the male, but women. This is the missing ingredient in SSM. Marriage is an important part of the equation, but so too are members of both sexes.
In sum, this is the best book to date to give the case for SSM. It is carefully argued and well-written. But it seems to be just so much special pleading and it seems to presume too many unproven basics. Nonetheless Rauch has done a very good job of stating his case, and he may well win over a number of converts to his cause. But the debate is not yet over, and a forceful case can still be made for the heterosexual nature of marriage.
Book Review: BEWARE!
Summary: 5 Stars
This book will only be read by those who favor gay marriage; because you will either start with that opinion or, by the time you finish the book, you will have converted to that opinion. With grace, good humor, intelligence, and clarity Rauch looks at every aspect of this issue. And if you're already married and straight this book will delight and refresh your relationship because, in the end, this topic is all about the most healthy and joyful way for humans to celebrate and nurture love between two committed people.