Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry
by Albert Bernstein
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Book Summary Information
Author: Albert BernsteinEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2002-03-22
ISBN: 0071381678
Number of pages: 256
Publisher: McGraw-Hill
Book Reviews of Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry
Book Review: Fangs for the Memories -- if Need 5 Stars
Your beloved Seer is known to get a hot toddy or a brandy before relaxing for the evening. Mind you, dealing with spiritual matters (difficult guides) and earthly inconveniences (my dragon and seaserpent) certainly does take it's toll on my poor brain synapses. That said, I do read sometimes before I sleep which I feel is a calming past-time. I finally finished this one and I am now here to report.Being the true sensitive that I am, I have always been curious about why people act the way they do. This is a continuing learning enigma which (I hate to admit) I need a little help now and then. A book like this is so very informative. And considering it was written by a psychologist makes it even more interesting. Albert Bernstein enters areas of personalities that we have probably all been exposed to - yet were never able to put our finger on it. That is - until now.
"Emotional Vampires" - it sounds ominous! It is. He explores various personalities (categorizing them by type, i,e; Antisocial, Histrionic,Narcissistic, Obsessive Compulsive, and Paranoid). These people have the unique ability of draining your energy and making your life a living hell. That is - if you let them.
Mind you - each of these types have their own traits- and some of them over-lap. But, he does point out that they have their own unique quirks that may harm you and your emotional well-being. The book is dedicated to being able to identify them and what you can do as protection. He does not dwell too much into why these people develop the way they do. As he states "understanding where a problem comes from is not the same as solving it". Thus, his concentration is the here and now. Delving into the past will only direct focus towards validating the already set destructive behavior of these people.
I was really enamored by this book. First off, the drawings here of each type made me chuckle. But, believe me, the problems and havoc they can create in your life is no laughing matter. Mr. Bernstein also delights with constructed scenarios which show you exactly what's going on in the dynamics of a relationship with them. Profound, astute and wise. I came away with really great insights.
In each chapter he gives you a checklist of traits for each subject and how to reveal who is, or who is not an emotional vampire in your life. You can also put yourself to the test - and if you answer honestly, you may find you might have some of these traits. But, if so, it is a good thing because recognition and introspection of self is a valuable tool to change. If you don't recognize what you're doing wrong in your relationships, they will never get to a better plain. I think most people want to get alot more value from their relationships, whether it be family, friends or bosses. But, for any of that to happen, it takes introspection and awareness from all.
He gives you fighting tools in dealing with these vampires. And, to my mind, some of the suggestions may or may not work. I am under the impression that if you are the one getting hurt over and over, and being drained, you have the option of just walking away. It might be a last resort- but it is an option if enough is enough.
With any relationship I believe that, starting out, there is an underlying, unspoken contract between people. In my own experience I got into a disastrous relationship whereby the rules were set, but I had changed and wanted to rewrite for a better script. Unfortunately, some people (or vampires) refuse to change. And then we have a most difficult situation.
I know what some of you out there are thinking. You think your beloved Metamorpho is a narcissistic vampire. But, I can assure my vast fan club that Metamorpho's purpose is to enlighten and entertain. My (supposed) bloated ego is there to amuse, and no one does a better job of deflating that than me. I am a circus show on the side of the road as you rubberneck by. Face it. You are enjoying the sight. Now, if we could all learn from this book and not be a pain to each other!
In closing, there are certain parts of this book that I should reread again - if only to really clarify certain points that he makes. It is a fascinating book. Revealing, entertaining but ohso essential for the modern man or woman. Read it at your peril - but read it! You just may learn something. Highly recommended!
I do NOT have sharp teeth! ---your own, Metamorpho ;)
Summary of Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry
"Bernstein provides a field guide to the various types of Emotional Vampires and advises readers how to protect themselves from being victims of these predatory personalities."Boston Globe
From bestselling author Albert J. Bernstein
The author of Dinosaur Brains offers protection from people who seek to destroy the emotional and psychological well-being of others. Like the fabled demons, these vampires:
- Think their needs are more important than yours
- Believe "the rules" apply only to other people
- Use their tempers in the same way terrorists use bombs
Emotional Vampires tells readers how to spot a "vampire" in their lives, which defense strategies to employ to prevent one from striking, and what to do if and when they find themselves under attack.
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