Coping with Difficult People: The Proven-Effective Battle Plan That Has Helped Millions Deal with the Troublemakers in Their Lives at Home and at Work
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Book Summary Information
Reader: Robert BramsonEdition: Music CD
Format: Abridged, Audiobook
Published: 2003-03-01
ISBN: 0743529022
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio
Accessories:
- RESPeRATE Blood Pressure Lowering Device
- Airborne Effervescent Health Formula, Original Orange, 10 Tablets (Pack of 3)
Book Reviews of Coping with Difficult People: The Proven-Effective Battle Plan That Has Helped Millions Deal with the Troublemakers in Their Lives at Home and at Work
Book Review: Never an easy task
Summary: 5 Stars
For the first time I am reviewing a book that I did not completely read. In fact, I read only the first two chapters. But at the time--several years ago, those were the only chapters I needed. Robert M. Bramson, management consultant, found that the number one problem in all the businesses he worked with was people trying to cope with difficult people. So he wrote this book.
He identifies six types of difficult people:
Hostile-aggressives: those who bully and throw tantrums to get their way;
Complainers: those who gripe incessantly but do nothing to change things;
Super-Agreeables: those who are supportive and agreeable but fail to follow through;
Silent and Unresponsives: those who respond to every question with yep, no, or a grunt;
Negativists: those who deflate any optimism you have;
Know-It-All Experts: those who know everything about anything worth knowing-- their goal is to make you feel worthless;
Indecisives: those who stall major decisions until they are made for them, often causing loss of jobs and opportunities.
The problem I had to work with was the Hostile-Agressive, of which there are three types: the Sherman Tank, the Sniper, and the Exploder. The Sniper makes deeply cutting comments under the guise of humor so that the victim is always slightly off-balance. Was it a joke or not? The Sherman Tank bullies verbally and physically if necessary to see that things go his way. He can be very intimidating. The Exploder is frightening in his vociferous behavior. Of the three the Exploder is the only one who cannot be persuaded to calm down. The victim must wait for that.
The husband, now ex-husband, was the Exploder and also a Complainer, Negativist, and a Know-It-All. The most difficult to deal with is the Exploder. Once he started, his temper and voice became louder and louder. The first step in dealing with this behavior is to get their attention by saying STOP! Stop!. That never worked for me. I thought surely if I break into his monolog he would stop and listen to me. He just got louder and louder. If I yelled, he yelled louder. If I talked, he demanded that I stop sassing him.
The method that always worked for me was to allow him time to calm down. The best way for him to achieve that calmness was that I leave the house. I would drive around for at least 30 minutes, then return home. He was always over his tantrum and usually friendly. He never apologized for anything (it was ALWAYS my fault). We would just start talking again as if nothing had happened. The big deal is that this method worked every time. He needed to be away from interaction with other people until his anger faded.
I have recommended this book to a number of people over the years and tout its efficacy in working with difficult people, especially the Exploders.
Summary of Coping with Difficult People: The Proven-Effective Battle Plan That Has Helped Millions Deal with the Troublemakers in Their Lives at Home and at Work
The next time they try to pull something like that on you, it's not going to work! Bosses, friends, family members, they've made your life hell -- until now. Based on fourteen years of research and observation, Dr. Robert Bramson's proven-effective techniques are guaranteed to help you right the balance and take charge of your life.
Learn how to:
Stand up to anyone -- without fightingBlunt a sniper's attackGet stallers off the dimeMove a complainer into a problem-solving mode
Learn the six basic steps that allow you to cope with just about anyone. Reclaim the power that rightfully belongs to you in any relationship.
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