Children Are from Heaven: Positive Parenting Skills for Raising Cooperative, Confident, and Compassionate Children
by John Gray
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Book Summary Information
Author: John GrayEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Original Language); English (Unknown); English (Published)
Published: 2001-01-01
ISBN: 0060930993
Number of pages: 400
Publisher: Harper Paperbacks
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Book Reviews of Children Are from Heaven: Positive Parenting Skills for Raising Cooperative, Confident, and Compassionate Children
Book Review: A Fantastic Read!
Summary: 5 Stars
This book has helped us in wonderous ways! Parenting is a huge learning experience. I was brought up with a little fear based parenting. I wanted to change that with my children. This book is an easy read and gives great examples of childrens temperments and how to implement positive parenting skills. I have read the book over and over again. I recommend reading this book every 6 months to a year to keep up with your ever changing child. This world would be a very happy place, if everyone read this book and implemented these positive parenting skills!
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Summary of Children Are from Heaven: Positive Parenting Skills for Raising Cooperative, Confident, and Compassionate Children
This brilliantly original and practical system for parenting children is the brainchild of John Gray, whose Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus books and seminars have helped millions of adults communicate more effectively and lovingly with each other. Based on this idea that children respond better to positive rather than negative reinforcement, the Children Are from Heaven program concentrates on rewarding, not punishing, children and fostering their innate desire to please their parents.
Central to this approach are the five positive messages your children need to learn again and again:
It's okay to be different.
It's okay to make mistakes.
It's okay to express negative emotions.
It's okay to want more.
It's okay to say no, but remember Mom and Dad are the bosses.
Psychologist John Gray (he of Men Are from Mars... fame) cites a need to shift from "fear-based parenting" (a punitive and oppressive approach to child rearing) to "love-based parenting" (which accepts children's desires and negative emotions while still setting reasonable limits). With child and teen violence increasing, rampant low self-esteem, substance abuse, teen pregnancy, and attention deficit disorder, he says, "the Western free world is experiencing a crisis in parenting. Almost all parents today are questioning both the old and the new ways of parenting. Nothing seems to be working."
He suggests "Five Messages of Positive Parenting" that will facilitate such a shift:
- It's okay to be different.
- It's okay to make mistakes.
- It's okay to express negative emotions.
- It's okay to want more.
- It's okay to say no, but remember mom and dad are the bosses.
Although his parenting philosophy is not necessarily revolutionary (think "positive discipline"), Gray manages to keep this parenting primer contemporary by weaving in specific challenges of new-millennium families--such as our tendency to be consumer-driven and overscheduled. "When parents learn what their children really need, they are less motivated to create money to acquire things and more motivated to create time to enjoy their family," Gray writes. "The greatest wealth for a parent today is time." --Gail Hudson
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