Broken Promises, Mended Hearts : Maintaining Trust in Love Relationships
by Joel D. Block
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Book Summary Information
Author: Joel D. BlockEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Original Language); English (Unknown); English (Published)
Published: 2001-11-15
ISBN: 0809223988
Number of pages: 256
Publisher: McGraw-Hill
Book Reviews of Broken Promises, Mended Hearts : Maintaining Trust in Love Relationships
Book Review: A Hard Call
Summary: 3 Stars
This was a hard call for me. There were many aspects of the book I really appreciated---and, overall, I found the book very helpful. Why not a five-star rating, you may ask? I cannot conscience the advice of the writer to keep infidelity a secret. He actually advises people who have been unfaithful, but have a partner who "does not know" about their infidelity, to keep it a secret (they should discuss this with a therapist, not their partner, he advises). In doing this, he ignores the fact that he also says lies and the failure to disclose information (even seemingly unimportant information---and certainly, in a relationship, an affair is pretty important information) are the foundations of betrayal and result in a breakdown of trust (and, thereby a breakdown in the relationship), and this is a significant premise in his work!
"Secret keeping involves self-deception because we focus on its protective functions rather than its limiting aspects. Indeed, keeping secrets is especially problematic in love relationships..." - Joel Block, Naked Intimacy, pg 99.
This gross inconsistency aside, he fails to note that, as Stanley Greenspan has pointed out, there are no secrets in families. To say the "blissfully" ignorant partner doesn't know, besides being naive, betrays a lack of insight and sensitivity to nuance, and nonverbal comprehension. Unfortunately, I speak from experience.
Summary of Broken Promises, Mended Hearts : Maintaining Trust in Love Relationships
How couples can restore trust and repair love relationships
Even the strongest relationship can be eroded by common, everyday breaches of trust. A small lie about a purchase, a cover-up for a forgotten birthday--each takes a bite out of trust. Over time, intimate confidences are weakened and the foundation of trust begins to crumble. It is Dr. Block's firm belief that when couples feel emotionally safe with each other, their relationship is more passionate, open, uninhibited, and sexually alive.
Filled with inspiring case studies from Dr. Block's private practice, this book offers couples an innovative, solution-oriented approach to restoring trust and repairing love relationships shattered or eroded by betrayal.
Includes chapters covering:
- Recognizing the Signs of Trust . . . and Mistrust
- Dance Away Lovers: The Trust-Mistrust Relationship
- Jealousy, Lover's Hell
- The Frontier of Trust: Sexual Fidelity
- Restoring Trust
"Through a spirited, imaginative exploration of love relationships, Block develops a useful roadmap for those who want their relationship to be meaningful." --Daniel Acaoz, founder, American Journal of Family Therapy
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