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Break Up or Break Through by Dina Bachelor Evan
Book Summary InformationAuthor: Dina Bachelor Evan Edition: Paperback Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published) Published: 2001-06-01 ISBN: 1555836399 Number of pages: 356 Publisher: Alyson Books
Book Reviews of Break Up or Break ThroughBook Review: Not what I expected, but exactly what I needed Summary: 5 Stars
I originally picked this book up just before I ended a four year relationship. I originally bought it with the intention of giving it to my then boyfriend, but ended up reading it and keeping it for myself. Even though I broke up with said boyfriend, I learned a lot from the book.
This book is not so much about how to "fix" relationships as it is to learn how to make personal growth and healing a part of your relationships. The author's position -- and I'm inclined to concur -- is that in doing so, one's relationships will also grow, heal, and become more resilient and flexible.
The author spends a great deal of time talking about setting up and honoring boundaries, facing fears rather than projecting them onto the relationship, and understanding when a relationship is not about "the relationship," but about something that one or one's partner is struggling to work through on their own. She also stresses the importance of letting your partner work out their own problems and giving them an understanding ear rather than taking on the job of solving their problems.
This book is not for the person who wants a quick band-aid for their relationship. Instead, it is for the person who wants to become more self-aware and true to their innermost being, both when they're alone and when they're sharing their loves with someone else.
Summary of Break Up or Break ThroughDina Bachelor Evan is a licensed marriage, family, and child therapist with a PhD in psychology and one in holistic health. She has offices in Phoenix and Los Angeles. An interview with Dina Bachelor Evan, Ph.D. author of Break Up or Break Through You meet, you fall head over heels in love, you change your life for this person, and then suddenly you find you have nothing in common. You begin to fight, break up, and start the whole cycle over again. Sound familiar? There has to be a better way. According to Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan, a psychotherapist with 16 years of couples counseling under her belt, there is. Her ideas, coupled with an astounding 90% success rate, are on display in the new book, Break Up or Break Through: A Spiritual Guide to Richer Relationships. Focusing on gay and lesbian couples, the book presents new paradigm for healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Dr. Evan talks about her book, her beliefs, and what most commonly goes wrong with gay and lesbian relationships. Alyson: Why did you write this book? Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan: In the gay community there are very few visible role models for successful relationships. We're in trouble. To make matters worse, today we are experiencing a relationship revolution in this country both in the straight community and the gay community. Divorce rates are skyrocketing, and statistics indicate the rates for long-term successful relationships in our communities are outrageously low. I have a 90% success rate with couples. I believe relationships are the finest spiritual teachers on the planet! Our ability to create long-term commitments and healthy families is the very foundation of stability and health in our community, just as it is in every civilization. Our ability to love profoundly, ethically, spiritually is a reflection of our character. I believe we all want these deeper values and commitments, yet we haven't been given the tools with which to create meaningful relationships. This book gives you those tools. Alyson: What questions do people ask most about relationships? Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan: Most people want to know how to tell when they are really in love. Other questions
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