Beyond Time-Out: From Chaos to Calm by Beth A. Grosshans, Janet H. Burton
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Book Reviews of Beyond Time-Out: From Chaos to Calm
Book Review: a solution at any age
Summary: 5 Stars
Even as the parent of a young toddler, I found the lessons and methods in the book could be applied to our daily lives. We are confident that disciplining our child will be easier as we are establishing the rules and processes clearly and reasonably at an early age and avoiding "accidental parenting". The methods are simple and direct, yet sensitive to a child's needs and development too.Book Review: Eureka!
Summary: 5 Stars
Parenting - the most important responsibility one has that does not require training, education, or a license, but one that should. It would be the unusual parent who can't identify with the many scenarios of parent-child interchanges presented in this book. They rang true with my husband and me as we looked back at our parenting and as we see our children parent. The authors reinforce so eloquently the need for parents to be parents - to take the lead and to be responsible. Following the practical step-by-step approach put forth in this book will make your child happier and more secure and your life ever so much easier and happier, too.Book Review: Sage advice
Summary: 5 Stars
As a clinician who has worked with children and families for the past ten
years, I think this book is a wonderful, user-friendly resource offering
sensible strategies for use with children exhibiting challenging
behaviors. The advice imparted by the book is sound and very much in line
with evidence-based treatment modalities, emphasizing the importance of
consistency, follow through and "stickwithitness". As a mother, I have
used the strategies outlined in this book regularly and with great
success. I believe this book is an indispensible resource for the vast
majority of parents struggling with their children's difficult behaviors.
Book Review: I "Get" this Book! It has changed our lives
Summary: 4 Stars
I too, have read all of these reviews - loving and hating this book. I can see why some of the reviews are so negative, as I don't think this book is for everyone. But one review in particular caught my attention - the one stating that this book is only for neurotypical kids. I wholeheartedly disagree and will tell how this book changed our family - for the better.
I turned to this book because I have an atypical child, and I was at my wits end with the power struggles that were happening in our house. My older son (now 8) is the poster child for ADHD. He is emotionally intense, physically exhausting and incredibly smart. He has been diagnosed with Aspberger's, but is extremely high functioning and attends mainstream school. My 4 year old is your basic typical child, with typical and age appropriate behavior. My 8 year old was still tantruming, screaming to get his way, crying, throwing things, etc., at the time I found this book.
After reading just the 1st chapter, I began to realize that I was attributing my son's behavior to his issues - rather than my parenting style, or should I say, lack of consistency thereto! I realized that not only was I the "permissive" parent, but I was also the "authoritarian" parent. At times, being way too permissive - almost intimidated by his tantrums - and at other times, laying down the law - like a drill sargent - barking orders out of frustration!
This book literally opened my eyes to just how much power my husband and I were giving away to our 8 year old - and how that was truly affecting the way we interacted with each other.
We decided to give the strategies in this book a try and began our trial period, during the last few weeks of summer, before school started. I predicted that I would be met with some resistance - so I made sure not to schedule too many out of the house activities.
The first week was tough - there were days where my older son would end up going to his room 5-6 times a day. There were days where he reacted very violently to me being so consistent - and at first, I had reservations about doing the "parent hold" - but having to only do it twice, and realizing the remarkable changes that were taking place right before my eyes - I continued with the process. It took about 2 full weeks for us to all get things under control - but I will tell you - after about the first 3-4 days of our "new plan" - I noticed changes in my 8 year old that I NEVER thought were possible!
Today - I rarely have to ask him twice to do things - and we have had maybe one or two tantrums in the last 3 months, as opposed to one or two a day!! His level of respect for me and my husband has changed dramatically, as has our level of respect for him and each other. We are now calm and direct in our approach to discipline. We don't squelch his spirit or his individualness and we certainly allow him plenty of room for him to just be him - for both of our boys, to have their spirit and express themselves - but we now require that they treat us respectfully, and likewise we do the same for them.
This book offers very tangible processes for parents who are engaged in having power struggles with their kids. There's nothing "new" or "gimmicky" about the techniques offered, they're just plain and simple.
I think the title is a bit deceiving and not quite right for this book - the author's form of discipline actually does involve some "time out" - but not in the traditional sense as most of us know it. At first I thought, how is putting either of my sons in their room, where all of their toys are going to be, any kind of discipline tool - but since following through each time - they've come to know it more as a regrouping to come back and cooperate as opposed to a "punishment." All I can say is - it works.
Being the mother of an extremely challenging child has it's own set of unique issues - this book has really helped me stay calm, focused and purposeful in my requests. It has helped my child tremendously because he now knows exactly what to expect and we no longer have the power struggles we've had in the many years past.
I wish this book had more specifics for homework issues/help - maybe the author will come out with a follow-up!
If your library has this book - check it out before paying full price. It may not be your style - but for some of us, this book can truly be life changing.
Book Review: best parenting book ever written
Summary: 5 Stars
I just came from a talk by Dr. Grosshanz in Madison, CT. She explained in detail why, we as parents have allowed our children to become power mongers and how detrimental it is for the child and the family. I highly recommend her book - it is easy to read and the ladder plan is easy to follow. Personally, this is the best book - without a doubt- that I have ever read on parenting. It should be handed out in the hospital when you check out with your baby!!! We as parents have to commit to making changes in how we raise our children - to end this epidemic of out of control, demanding children whose sense of entitlement stays with them through adulthood. Get this book - and Bravo Dr. Grosshanz for finally shedding light on the problem and giving us an easy way of correcting it!