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A Woman's Self-Esteem: Struggles and Triumphs in the Search for Identity by Nathaniel Branden
Book Summary InformationAuthor: Nathaniel Branden Edition: Hardcover Audio: English (Original Language); English (Unknown); English (Published) Published: 1998-10-02 ISBN: 0787943711 Number of pages: 176 Publisher: Jossey-Bass
Book Reviews of A Woman's Self-Esteem: Struggles and Triumphs in the Search for IdentityBook Review: Some useful ideas but one-sided plus a very harmful essay Summary: 2 StarsI'll start off with the positives: The ideas presented in this small book are a short recap of one of his other books: The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem with examples drawn from women's lives. His assertion that we need to live consciously, purposefully and with integrity, embrace our strengths, accept and assert ourselves, as well as take responsibility for our own lives and happiness is certainly helpful and worth reading - and living! The examples he gives are no-brainers and over-simplified. By that I mean that he tends to give situations where the person is clearly doing something harmful and is the cause (usually the sole cause) of her own pain or, otherwise, where people who care about her and are reasonable are the cause of it. This is a pretty common in books and not a major flaw but very disappointing when you have to deal with the more difficult, complex and gut-wrenching realities of life and can find little help in such books. There are times when we have to deal with unreasonable, uncaring people who are causing you real damage to our lives. The author also glosses over the difficulty of ending long-term, important relationships when you know they are harmful to you. You get the feeling that his own limited experiences (a white, well educated, well-to-do, older man) prevent him from seeing the injustices in our society and make him believe - and teach - that simple self-adjustments are all that are needed. One star was deducted because of this.
Then comes the essay in the appendix that takes away the other two stars from the rating. It is entitled "Was Ayn Rand a Feminist?" Here are a couple of quotes from this essay:
"She was always pleased when someone told her 'she thought like a man.' And yet, when asked if she would have preferred to be born a man, she invariably answered, "God no! Because then I'd have to be in love with a woman!"
Another quote:
"...The black dress seemed excessively revealing - because it was astonishing to discover that the lines of her shoulder were fragile and beautiful, and that the diamond band on the wrist of her naked arm gave her the most feminine of all aspects: the look of being chained."
Also:
"Ayn Rand was a ferociously intellectual, proudly self-assertive powerhouse of independence who described herself as a "man-worshipper."
And last but not least he quotes Ayn Rand:
"I see man as superior to woman" "...man is bigger, stronger, faster - better able to cope with nature"
To my sadness and near shock, Branden goes on to justify everything she has said and condemn none of it as destructive misogynism. In a book about women's self-esteem, stating and defending these ideas is so destructive that I wanted to go down to 1 star. But, as I said in the beginning of my review, he has some useful and good ideas. Unfortunately, they are contradicted in the essay.
In The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem he states: "It would be hard to name a more certain sign of poor self-esteem than the need to perceive some other group as inferior." Branden would have done well to be more conscious and to have more self-esteem when he wrote the essay on Ayn Rand. He seems to have been convinced by her (grudgingly, of course) that women are inferior to men. If he were more conscious, he might have countered her reasons for finding men superior with a couple of rather obvious responses. Isn't giving birth an important role in nature? Do you consider a donkey superior to men because it is stronger?
As for the image of women being chained, he defended that as being OK because it refers to her sexual aspect only and that fantasies of being ravished or overcome by a dominant male figure are transcultural and it would be absurd to insist that they tell us nothing about the female psyche. It does. It says that the female psych has been damaged in almost every culture. For a great book, if you're truly interested in this subject, you can read Riane Eisler's Sacred Pleasure. I found that book to be truly eye-opening.
Branden concludes that only "A feminism that defines woman as victim and man as her evil oppressor will see Rand as the enemy..." Not true! A feminism that does not see men or women as inferior, one that sees both men and women as lovable, one that sees men as people for women to love - not worship - will see Rand's ideas as the enemy! Her ideas are clearly an enemy to a Woman's self-esteem and it is very, very, sad that they are defended in a book that's supposed to help women with self-esteem!
Here is a link to the book I recommend if you want to understand how our sexual fantasies have been influenced.
Sacred Pleasure: Sex, Myth, and the Politics of the Body--New Paths to Power and Love
Summary of A Woman's Self-Esteem: Struggles and Triumphs in the Search for Identity"In a time when women are faced with many outside demands--career, family, community--this book will give them the tools and inspiration needed to remain grounded. A must read!"--Barbara McFarland, psychologist and author of My Mother Was Right Based on the intimate stories of women who have struggled with issues of self-esteem, this invaluable book offers step-by-step guidance for women who want to transform themselves and create lives that are powerful, energized, and motivated. A Woman's Self-Esteem is also a guide for helping women learn the impact they can make on their own lives and how their positive actions will result in a stronger sense of competence and self-worth. A pioneer in the field of self-esteem, psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden explains that the foundation of a healthy self-esteem rests on six key practices or virtues--living consciously, self-acceptance, self-responsibility, self-assertiveness, purposeful living, and personal integrity--and reveals how women can cultivate these essential virtues to reach their full potential. The author?s inspiring, real-life vignettes show how women have come to terms with these complex issues by breaking away from self-sabotaging patterns and taking the necessary steps to create more satisfying lives. In A Woman's Self-Esteem, Branden debunks common myths and reminds us that self-esteem is not a gift given to us by others. Branden offers a revealing examination of the special issues that women grapple with including romantic love, jealousy, fear of selfishness, expressing anger, defensiveness, and success anxiety. Filled with creative exercises, A Woman's Self Esteem was developed to enhance personal development and fortify self-esteem.
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