A Slant Of Sun: One Child's Courage by Beth Kephart
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Book Reviews of A Slant Of Sun: One Child's Courage
Book Review: Lyrical writing style, some useful advice
Summary: 3 Stars
The author writes in a highly personal, lyrical, and IMO
somewhat self-indulgent style. It's not my cup of tea, but
if there is a large audience for this form of writing, more
power to the author. I personally think that the most useful
message to come out of this book is "trust your instincts".
The primary inspiration is Beth's courage, amidst
the shock of dealing initially with the PDD-NOS conunudrum,
to tune out the noise, and chart Jeremy's course
herself based on her own instincts of what felt right
and what seemed to worked best for him. Having been in
a similar albeit less traumatic situation, I can't
convey how much courage it takes to jettison, or at
least cherry-pick among the advice of the experts. The
instinct to let the experts take over is very powerful
when you are searching for answers, and want to protect
your child from something unknown and frightening. But
when it comes to autism spectrum disorders, parental
instinct can often trump psychology.
Book Review: A Self-Portrait of a Mother's Love
Summary: 5 Stars
As beautifully as it is written, as much praise as it has received, and as interested as I am in the subject, A Slant of Sun was hard to pick up. For in opening these pages, I had to pry open a part of myself. The struggle was worthwhile, however, for the elegant prose of this book sheds light and hope upon the challenges faced by parents whose children receive the diagnosis of "Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified" as well as other invisible and elusive conditions that can affect the development of young children.
Beth Kephart immediately engages the reader as she takes you into her heart and mind. You get to know this quite ordinary, unassuming first-time mother as she struggles with the normal but uncomfortable worries of parenthood. The pages resonate with the devoted passion of a mother's love. Then comes that all too familiar, slow-dawning realization that her child's differences are beyond the range of the typical. As a parent of a child within the spectrum of PDD, I had no choice but to relive my son's early years and my own anguish in discovering that he would never be "normal."
As the author puts it, "What in the end are you fighting for? Is normal possible? Can it be defined?...And is normal superior to what the child inherently is, to what he aspires to, fights to, every second of his day?" Kephart refuses to confuse her only child with a label. She describes as only a fellow traveler can how she and her husband found therapists who "felt" right and held onto the ideas from doctors that made sense, like not letting their son get stuck in his rituals for too long. She talks about how hard it was as only a mother at home all day with her child can. As she put it, "It required more of me than I actually had to give, and at the end of it all, it was Jeremy himself who provided the light and the wisdom that moved us forward."
Jeremy is described today as a successful second grader in a country Quaker school. As a reader, I couldn't help but feel jealous for my own son has never made dramatic progress despite my hopes and dreams and efforts to the contrary. A Slant of Sun reopened that longing within me and led me to rethink my steps from my son Tariq's early years until now as he approaches his nineteenth birthday still functioning in the range of mental retardation. Still it was worth the effort, for the broad category of PDD has different implications for each child within the spectrum and for each parent who has to come to terms with the reality for their child. The combination of love and good programs can take each child as far as he or she can grow--but no further. Neither Beth Kephart nor any of us other parents have control over that.
We can hear Kephart's grief out loud in many of the essays which make up the book. While she observed her husband, on the other hand, to have grieved inside himself as most men do. Together they both did all they could while youth and innocence left this first-time mother. Like the rest of us struggling with disabilities in our children, they have been through years of having little life for themselves as they struggled to understand and meet their child's needs. First on their own, and then with therapists and teachers with the same approach, they learned to engage in Jeremy's world which helped him to enter theirs. They learned how to coach and pull him through his obsessions rather than yank him out of them and frustrate him. They made the world of relating appealing to their son.
PDD has multiple causes and numerous symptoms which appear in quite individual profiles in children who struggle simultaneously yet unevenly with language, motor skills, and social awareness. Love is the only reasonable response in the absence of a cure. It is a love without conditions for our special children regardless of how far they can or may develop. Our children teach us about the love and wonder of raising a child that escapes and transcends science and logic. A Slant of Sun lives up to its title and deserves to endure for it casts light on the arduous but rewarding journey of parenting a special child.
*****
Robert Naseef, Ph.D. is a nationally recognized psychologist specializing in families of children with special needs. He is the author of the highly regarded "Special Children, Challenged Parents: The Struggles and Rewards of Raising a Child With a Disability" (2001, Brookes Publishing). On the web at (...)
Book Review: This is a great read
Summary: 5 Stars
Unlike most books about autistic children written by their mothers, this mom doesn't offer the difinitive methodology for "recovery", no recipe for success. She tells the story of herself and her son to tell what she has found to be the greatest truth of the parent child relationship - love matters. You do your best, you love your child, you teach him/her what is important. So many parents of autistic children, particularly those with very young children, are so afraid of the future, they want answers. You will not find those answers here. This doesn't tell you what to do, but suggests that whatever path you take, be sure it is full of love. This is a lovely book, beautifully written, sweetly told.Book Review: beautiful insight, hopeful and profound
Summary: 5 Stars
This book is a must read for parents of children finding their way back from the cloud of autism spectrum disorders. Beth Kephart paints a picture, not just of a heartbreaking condition but also of hope and joy in the midst of recovery. As the mother of a toddler battling the same mysterious condition I appreciated her acceptance and delight in her son. Beth Kephart put into words perfectly how parenting an autistic child can be so magical and thrilling and so sad and heartbreaking at the same time. Her refusal to let a diagnosis define her son is inspiring.This is an excellent book to read as a companion to all the information books about autism and pdd. Her son is not 'cured' but he is back, loving and being loved.
Aside from the story itself Beth Kephart's use of words and language make the book worth reading, she writes beautifully.
A wonderful book.
Book Review: one child's dignity
Summary: 5 Stars
A Slant of Sun is a beautiful book written about a boy whose dignity and integrity teach his mother many things. This book is not an appropriate selection for parents who are seeking a plan of action or a series of steps to take toward a child's wholeness; the author makes it clear, repeatedly, that what worked well for her child is not necessarily a prescription for all children. Instead, A Slant of Sun is a book for those who believe it is important to step back, to spend time with their children, and to learn the lessons that they teach. It is a book for those who have been profoundly moved by their own child's first words, by unexpected gestures of love.