A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue

A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue
by Wendy Shalit

A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue
List Price: $24.00
Our Price: $12.55
You Save: $11.45 (48%)
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Buy Used: from $0.67 (click here)
Category: Book
See more book details and other editions


(Click here)
Buy this book at online book store in your country
Canada | UK | Germany | France

Book Summary Information

Author: Wendy Shalit
Edition: Hardcover
Format: Bargain Price
Published: 1999-01-11
ISBN: N/A
Number of pages: 304

Book Reviews of A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue

Book Review: important book for our times
Summary: 5 Stars

One of the best books I have ever read - the #1 book I have most recommended to friends. Sexuality is rampant in our culture and Wendy reminds of the role and responsibility of women.

Summary of A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue

Where once a young woman had to be ashamed of her sexual experience, today she is ashamed of her sexual inexperience. Where not long ago an unmarried woman was ashamed to give public evidence of sexual desire by living with someone, today she must be ashamed to give evidence of romantic desire. From sex education in grade school to coed bathrooms in college, today's young woman is being pressured relentlessly to overcome her embarrassment, her "hang-ups," and especially her romantic hopes.

Meanwhile, the problems young women struggle with grow steadily more extreme: from sexual harassment, stalking, and date rape to anorexia and self-mutilation. Both men and women endlessly lament the loss of privacy and of real intimacy. What is it all about?

Beholden neither to conservatives who discount as exaggeration the dangers facing young women, nor to feminists who steadfastly affix blame on the patriarchy, Wendy Shalit proposes that, in fact, we have lost our respect for an important classical virtue -- that of sexual modesty. A Return to Modesty is a deeply personal account as well as a fascinating intellectual exploration. From seventeenth-century manners guides to Antonio Canova's sculpture, Venus Italico, to Frank Loesser's 1948 tune, "Baby, It's Cold Outside," A Return to Modesty unfolds like a detective's search for a lost idea as Shalit uncovers opinions about this lost virtue's importance, from Balzac to Simone de Beauvoir, that have not been aired for decades. Then she knocks down the accompanying myths one by one. Female modesty is not about a "sexual double standard," as is often thought, but is related to male virtue and honor. Modesty is not a social construct, but a natural response. And modesty is not prudery, but a way to preserve a sense of the erotic in our lives.

With humor and piercing insight, Shalit invites us to look beyond the blush and consider the new power to be found in an old ideal. She maintains that the sex education curriculum forced on those of her generation from an early age is fundamentally flawed, centered as it is on overcoming reticence -- what we today call "hang-ups." Shalit surprisingly and persuasively argues that without these misnamed hang-ups there can be no true surrender, no richness and depth to relations between the sexes. The natural inclination toward modesty is not a hang-up that we should set out to cure, but rather a wonderful instinct that, if rediscovered and given the right social support, has the power to transform society.


The 23-year-old author first heard of "modestyniks"--Orthodox Jewish women who withhold physical contact from men until marriage--while a freshman at Williams College. She was initially fascinated by the way in which they cleave to old ideals, especially amid a sexually saturated contemporary world. But more so, Wendy Shalit was aghast at how modestyniks are dismissed as sick, delusional, or repressed by the secular community. "Why," asks the author, "is sexual modesty so threatening to some that they can only respond to it with charges of abuse or delusion?"

In her thoughtful three-part essay, the author reveals an impressive reading list as she probes the cultural history of sexual modesty for women and considers whether this virtue may be beneficial in today's world--if not an antidote to misogyny. In an age when women are embarrassed by sexual inexperience, when sex education is introduced as early as primary school, and when women suffer more than ever from eating disorders, stalking, sexual harassment, and date rape, Shalit believes a return to modesty may place women on equal footing with men. She yearns for a time when conservatives can believe the claims of feminists and feminists can differentiate between patriarchy and misogyny and share in the dialectic of female sexuality.

While the young author's argument is often limited by naiveté and her own lack of experience, her profound intelligence and daring are undeniable. A Return to Modesty is a thought-provoking debut that introduces an original and exciting new feminist thinker. --Kera Bolonik

Subjects Books

Book Subjects
Most talked about in Subjects Books
That Hideous Strength ImageThat Hideous Strength
by C S Lewis
Voyager; Published: 2005-12-05; Paperback; Book
Best price: $8.01
Girl With a Pearl Earring ImageGirl With a Pearl Earring
by Tracy Chevalier
Harper Collins Audio; Published: 2002-06-17; Audio Cassette; Book
Best price: $34.99
Illustrated Man (Voyager Classics) ImageIllustrated Man (Voyager Classics)
by Ray Bradbury
Voyager; Published: 2002-08-19; Paperback; Book
Best price: $5.81
Magician's Nephew (Chronicles of Narnia S.) ImageMagician's Nephew (Chronicles of Narnia S.)
by C S Lewis
Harper Collins Childrens H/B; Published: 2003-10-06; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $25.99
1960s Series American Dream Image1960s Series American Dream
by Norman Mailer
Flamingo; Published: 2001-04-17; Paperback; Book
Best price: $16.99
Jonathan Livingston Seagull ImageJonathan Livingston Seagull
by Richard Bach
Harpercollins Publishers; Published: 1994-08-22; Paperback; Book
Best price: $5.85
Man Lay Dead ImageMan Lay Dead
by Ngaio Marsh
Harper Collins Pb; Published: 2000-12-04; Paperback; Book
Best price: $107.58
Rhythm Section ImageRhythm Section
by Mark Burnell
Harper Collins Pod; Published: 2000-06-19; Paperback; Book
Best price: $33.86
I Am Mary Dunne ImageI Am Mary Dunne
by Brian Moore
Flamingo; Published: 1995; Paperback; Book
Best price: $79.95
Similar Books and other products
Men and Marriage ImageMen and Marriage
by George Gilder
Pelican Publishing; Published: 1986-08-31; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $9.51
Price in other shops: $19.95
Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children ImageHooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children
by M.D. Joe S. McIlhaney Jr MD, M.D. Freda McKissic McKissic Bush MD, Joe S. S. McIlhaney Jr., Freda McKissic Bush
Books; Northfield Publishing; Published: 2008-08-01; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $9.05
Price in other shops: $17.99
Love and Responsibility ImageLove and Responsibility
by Karol Wojtyla
Ignatius Press; Ignatius Press; Published: 1993-04-01; Paperback; Book
Best price: $11.48
Price in other shops: $18.95
Prude: How the Sex-Obsessed Culture Damages Girls (and America, Too!) ImagePrude: How the Sex-Obsessed Culture Damages Girls (and America, Too!)
by Carol Platt Liebau
Center Street; Published: 2007-11-02; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $9.99
Price in other shops: $22.99
A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue ImageA Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue
by Wendy Shalit
Touchstone; Published: 2000-01-24; Paperback; Book
Best price: $6.99
Price in other shops: $16.00
Unprotected: A Campus Psychiatrist Reveals How Political Correctness in Her Profession Endangers Every Student ImageUnprotected: A Campus Psychiatrist Reveals How Political Correctness in Her Profession Endangers Every Student
by MD Anonymous
Sentinel HC; Published: 2006-11-16; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $4.80
Price in other shops: $23.95
Girls Gone Mild: Young Women Reclaim Self-Respect and Find It's Not Bad to Be Good ImageGirls Gone Mild: Young Women Reclaim Self-Respect and Find It's Not Bad to Be Good
by Wendy Shalit
Random House; Published: 2007-03-07; Hardcover; Book
Best price: $2.69
Price in other shops: $25.95
The Look: Does God Really Care What I Wear? ImageThe Look: Does God Really Care What I Wear?
by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Revive Our Hearts; Published: 2003-06; Paperback; Book
Best price: $5.95
Christian Modesty and the Public Undressing of America ImageChristian Modesty and the Public Undressing of America
by Jeff Pollard
The Vision Forum, Inc.; Published: 2001-12-12; Paperback; Book
Best price: $2.50
Price in other shops: $8.00
The Good Girl Revolution: Young Rebels with Self-Esteem and High Standards ImageThe Good Girl Revolution: Young Rebels with Self-Esteem and High Standards
by Wendy Shalit
Ballantine Books; Published: 2008-07-08; Paperback; Book
Best price: $8.89
Price in other shops: $15.00
Book store. Illustrated catalog of books on different categories